Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isehlukaniso, ukuhlala emakhaya amabili, noma uhambo olude lwebhizinisi, kunezimo ezihlukene emikhayeni lapho obaba noma usingababa bengahlali khona nezingane zabo. Kodwa ngisho nalapho ukude, ithonya labo lingaba likhulu. Iseluleko esivela kumbhali nomqeqeshi uJoe Kelly sizokusiza ugcine ubudlelwano obuseduze nobufudumele nengane yakho.
1. Yiba nesineke. Ukukhulisa ingane ukude kunzima kakhulu. Kodwa khumbula ukuthi usenethonya elikhulu kuye, hhayi ngaphansi kukamama. Gcwalisa izibopho zakho, kuhlanganise nokusekela ingane yakho ngokwezimali, ngaphandle kokucasuka noma ukucasuka. Hlala kuye umzali ozothile, onothando futhi ozinikele. Usize nomama wakho enze okufanayo.
2. Gcina ukuxhumana nomama wengane. Ubuhlobo ingane yakho ebakhayo nonina abufani nobuhlobo onabo naye. Mhlawumbe leyo mithetho nezinqubo, indlela yokuxhumana eyamukelwa emndenini womkakho wangaphambili noma intombi, ayibonakali ilungile kuwe. Kodwa ingane iyabudinga lobo buhlobo. Ngakho-ke, hlala uthintana nonina, uvuma ukuthi awunasibopho ngobuhlobo babo. Yiqiniso, ingane idinga isivikelo sakho esimweni sobudlova noma ukwenqatshwa ngumama, kodwa kuzo zonke ezinye izimo, kufanele imiselwe ukuhlalisana ngokuthula nokuzola kulobu buhlobo.
3. Zinikeze ukwesekwa okunempilo kwezenhlalo nezomzwelo. Ungase ugcwale intukuthelo, ukucasuka, ukulangazelela, ukungahlaliseki kanye neminye imizwa eyinkimbinkimbi, lokhu kuvamile. Xhumana kakhulu nabantu abanempilo, abavuthiwe, abahlakaniphile, xazulula izinkinga zakho nodokotela wezengqondo, kodwa ungazisebenzisi ekukhulumisaneni nengane.
4. Khumbula ukuthi ingane yakho ihlala ezindlini ezimbili. “Ushintsho olushintshayo” ngalunye phakathi kukababa nomama abavakashelayo, ukushiya ikhaya elilodwa bese ubuyela kwelinye kuyinkathi yokulungiswa okukhethekile okungokwengqondo kwengane, ngokuvamile kuyisikhathi sokufisa nokubi. Hlonipha ukungabaza kwakhe ukukutshela ngempilo nomama wakhe, mayelana nomndeni "lowo" njengamanje, mvumele anqume ukuthi uzokwabelana ngani futhi nini. Ungagibeli emphefumulweni wakhe futhi ungawabukeli phansi amandla emizwa yakhe.
5. Yiba ubaba ongcono kakhulu ongaba nguye. Awukwazi ukushintsha isitayela somzali womunye umzali, futhi awukwazi ukulungisa ukushiyeka kwabo. Ngakho-ke gxila kulokho ongakwazi ukukulawula: izenzo zakho. Ungahluleli noma ugxeke izinqumo zomuntu wangaphambili ngoba akekho (okuhlanganisa nawe) ongaba umzali ophelele. Themba ukuthi umama, njengawe, wenza konke okusemandleni akhe. Bonisa uthando nokunaka okukhulu lapho ingane inawe nalapho ingekho (ezingxoxweni zocingo nama-e-mail).
6. Ungamthethisi noma umehlulele umama wengane yakho. Ungayibonisi ingane isimo sengqondo sokudelela unina ngezwi noma ngesandla, ngisho nalapho umthukuthelele futhi ekhuluma kabi ngawe. Uma into enhle ingashiwo, kungcono ngokuhlakanipha uthule.
Ukungaboni ngaso linye kumama kuyayilulaza ingane futhi kumzwise ubuhlungu. Ngenxa yalokho, uzocabanga okubi kakhulu ngaye, nangomama wakhe, nangawe futhi. Ungazivumeli ukuba ulungise izinto phambi kwendodana yakho (indodakazi), noma ngabe olunye uhlangothi lukucasula ukuba wenze kanjalo. Ukuhlanganyela ezingxabanweni zabantu abadala akuwona umsebenzi wengane.
7. Bambisana. Uma isimo sivuma, khuluma ngokukhululekile futhi wazise ubuhlobo benu. Umbono ohlukile, i-engeli ehlukile, umbono womunye umuntu omdala onentshisekelo awulokothi udlulele enganeni ekhulayo. Ukubambisana kwakho, ukuxoxisana ngezinkathazo nezinjabulo, impumelelo nezinkinga zomntwana, yiqiniso, kuhle kuye nasebudlelwaneni bakho naye.
8. Ingane yakho nomama wayo bangabantu abahlukene. Ungaqondisi kabusha izimangalo oziqongelele kowayeshade naye enganeni yakho. Lapho engalaleli, eziphatha kabi, enza okuthile okungalungile (ukuziphatha okuvamile esemncane), ungabheki ukuhlobana phakathi kwemigilingwane yakhe nezenzo zikanina. Phatha ukwehluleka kwakhe njengento ebalulekile ezomsiza ukuthi afunde futhi athuthuke. Mlalele ngaphezu kwenkulumo. Ngakho maningi amathuba okuthi umbone futhi umamukele njengoba enjalo, hhayi ngendlela obungathanda ukumbona ngayo, futhi hhayi ngendlela ocabanga ukuthi ungaba yiyo ukube nguwe wedwa omkhulisile.
9. Lawula lokho akulindele ngokuhlakanipha. Umuzi kamama unemithetho nemigomo yawo, owakho unowawo. Yiba nesineke lapho esabela ngokungathuli njalo kulo mehluko, kodwa ungakhathali ukumkhumbuza ngalokho okulindele enganeni yasekhaya. Akufanele unxephezele ubunzima besimo somshado ngokuvunyelwa okungapheli. Ungajahi ukufeza zonke izidingo futhi konakale ingane ngoba nje "ingane yesahlukaniso." Khumbula ukuthi ubudlelwano obuthembekile nobuhlala njalo bubaluleke kakhulu kunalokhu okwenzeka namuhla.
10. Yiba ubaba, hhayi umama. Unamandla futhi unokwethenjelwa, uyisibonelo, futhi awukhathali ukutshela ingane yakho ukuthi uyamthanda futhi unendawo ekhethekile enhliziyweni yakho. Amandla akho, isimo sengqondo sokusebenza nokusekela kuzomsiza aqonde ukuthi naye angaba nesibindi, athande, ajabule futhi aphumelele futhi angathola ukuhlonishwa kwabanye. Ukholo lwakho kumntwana luzomsiza ukuba akhule abe insizwa efanelekayo, wena nonina nizoziqhenya ngayo.
Mayelana Nombhali: UJoe Kelly uyintatheli, umbhali, umqeqeshi, kanye nombhali wezincwadi ezimbalwa ezikhuluma ngobudlelwane bomzali nengane, okuhlanganisa Obaba kanye namadodakazi.