Kungani uheha abangazi kahle nokuthi ungayilungisa kanjani

Uyamangala ukuthi uzungezwe abantu "abanobuthi"? Bakuzwisa ubuhlungu, ubuye ubaxolele futhi unethemba lokuthi ngeke kuphinde kwenzeke, kodwa baphinde bakuzwise ubuhlungu futhi ungazi ukuthi uzophuma kanjani kulesi simo. Ubusemseni walobu budlelwano ngenxa yezimfanelo zakho ezinhle kakhulu.

Awuwedwa - ngiye ngaba sesimweni esifanayo izikhathi eziningi. Omunye umngane wayengishayela ucingo noma nini lapho edinga usizo, futhi ngangivuma njalo ukumsiza. Kodwa iqiniso lokuthi wayehlale egqekeza empilweni yami ngezinkinga zakhe laqeda amandla ami.

Ekugcineni ngafunda ukubeka imingcele futhi ngenqabe ngaphandle kokuzizwa nginecala. Ngabona ukuthi umngane wami wayengisebenzisa ngenxa yokuzimisela kwami ​​ukusiza, futhi lokhu kuqonda kwangisiza ukuba nginqamule ubuhlobo obabuqeda amandla futhi bungihlukumeza.

Angifuni ukucindezela isifiso sokusiza abathandekayo uma bengakwazi ukubuyisela okufanayo. Ngizozama ukukufundisa ukuthi ungamelana kanjani nabantu "abanobuthi".

Ubaheha ngenxa yalezi zizathu ezilandelayo.

1. UCHITHA ISIKHATHI SAKHO NABANYE

Ukuphana nokuzidela kuyizimfanelo ezimangalisayo, kodwa abantu “abanobuthi” bakhangwa umusa nobuhle. Ngemva kokuthatha ukunaka kwakho, bazoqala ukufuna okwengeziwe, kuzodingeka uphendule zonke izicelo, umlayezo, i-SMS, incwadi, ucingo. Lapho uchitha isikhathi esiningi kuzo, uzozizwa ukhungathekile, ukhathele futhi ucasukile. Zihlonze izidingo nemizwa yakho, kancane kancane wakha imingcele, bese uthi “cha” ezicelweni ezikwenza uzizwe ungakhululekile.

Ukwakha imingcele kunzima: kubonakala ngathi into enobugovu. Khumbula imiyalelo yezimo eziphuthumayo lapho undiza: kufanele ufake imaskhi, bese usiza abanye kuphela, ngisho nezingane zakho. Isiphetho silula: awukwazi ukusindisa abanye ngokudinga usizo. Lapho unamandla engeziwe, kulapho ungenza okwengeziwe, okuhlanganisa nokusiza abantu abaningi, hhayi nje abantu abangazifuni kanye nama-vampire anamandla.

2. UTHEMBEKA FUTHI UTHEMBEKA EMAPHUPHO

Uma unephupho, cishe uzoheha abangazi kahle. Labo abalahla amaphupho abo futhi balahlekelwa injongo yabo yokuphila. Uma wabelana ngemibono nabo, bazokubona njengomuntu ocabangayo futhi mhlawumbe ozidlayo. Ukwesaba kungumngane wabo, bazozama ukuvimbela ukugcwaliseka kwamaphupho akho. Lapho ulwela ukufeza umgomo, yilapho ukuhlasela kwabo kuzoba nolaka.

Ungabelani ngemibono nabantu ababonise "ubuthi" babo. Qaphela, zama ukungaweli ogibeni lwemibuzo yabo. Zizungeze nalabo abanomgomo, abasebenza ngentshiseko ekufezekiseni iphupho. Abantu abanjalo bazokweseka okwenziwayo futhi banikeze ukuzethemba.

3. UBONA OKUHLE KWABANTU

Ngokuvamile sithatha ngokuthi abanye banomusa. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi sihlangana nohlangothi olumnyama lwemvelo yomuntu, okwenza ukuzethemba kwethu kuzamazame. Ingabe ukuthola kunzima ukwamukela ukuthi abanye bangaba nobugovu noma ukukhaphela? Ngabe uke wathandana nomuntu onama-narcissist ngethemba lokuthi lo muntu uzoshintsha? Ngangivame ukuthatha abantu «abanobuthi» njengengxenye yempilo yami futhi ngacabanga ukuthi ngidinga ukuzivumelanisa nabo futhi ngibamukele nawo wonke amaphutha abo. Manje ngiyazi ukuthi akunjalo.

Themba intuition yakho: izokutshela lapho usengozini. Ungacindezeli imizwa yakho. Lokhu kungase kube nzima ekuqaleni: umbono wakho onembile wabanye ungakwenza ube novalo futhi ucasuke. Zithembe. Vumela intuition yakho ikuvikele ebuhlungu bemizwa obufika nobudlelwano obunobuthi.

4. UMUHLE

Ingabe uthi konke kuhle uma ungacabangi kanjalo? Ingabe uhlala uzolile futhi unesineke ezimweni ezicindezelayo, zama ukudambisa umoya ngamahlaya? Ukuzola kwakho kuheha abafuna ukukwephula ngokulawula wena.

Ngabona ukuthi uthando lwami ngezingane lwalungenza ngibe isisulu esilula. Ngokwesibonelo, ngake ngathi kumngane wami, “Ngingagada izingane zakho noma nini lapho uthanda,” futhi lokho, engqondweni yakhe, kwaphenduka “nsuku zonke,” kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngimatasa kangakanani. Umngane wasebenzisa ukusabela kwami ​​ukuze kuzuze yena.

Zama ukunganikezi izimpendulo ezisheshayo ezicelweni, uthathe ikhefu, uthembise ukucabanga. Ngaleyo ndlela ugwema ingcindezi. Kamuva, ningavuma nobabili bese niphendula: “Uxolo, kodwa ngeke ngikwazi.”

Ungavumeli abantu abanobuthi bakutshele imigomo yakho, gcina imigomo yakho engqondweni. Qhubeka unomusa futhi uphane, kodwa kancane kancane funda ukubona abantu abangakufiseli okubi bese ubavalelisa.

Umthombo: I-Huffington Post.