Kungenzeka yini ukuthi owesilisa nowesifazane abathandana nobulili obuhlukile babe nobudlelwano obuseduze kodwa obungokwedlulele? Ezimweni eziningi, lokhu kuyinganekwane, kusho uprofesa wezengqondo uClifford Lazarus. Phela, imisebenzi yokuziphendukela kwemvelo yobulili obubili ihilela okungaphezu nje kobungane.
Sibonga isazi sefilosofi nombhali uJohn Gray, kwethi Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, owaphayona isingathekiso esinembe kakhulu seMars/Venus njengamaplanethi amabili ahlukene ahlalwa amadoda nabesifazane abaningi.
Futhi uma kulula ngezakhamuzi zaseVenus ukusungula nokugcina ubudlelwano be-platonic namadoda, khona-ke izakhamuzi zaseMars zinobungane obunjalo obumsulwa, obungafiphazwa isithakazelo sobulili, okubi kakhulu.
Futhi nakuba abanye besifazane ebunganini nabobulili obuhlukile bevame ukuba nesimo sobudoda kakhulu - abalushiyi nakancane ucansi - futhi abanye besilisa bathambekela kakhulu ekuxhumekeni ngokomoya, okuhlangenwe nakho kuqinisekisa ukuthi laba bantu bahlukile kulo mthetho.
Ubulili obubuthakathaka buthinta imizwa kakhudlwana, futhi ngokuvamile ubungane ngokungazi buphenduka ukudlala ngothando noma ukuthandana.
Iningi labesilisa abathandana nobulili obuhlukile lihlola ngokuzithoba noma yimuphi owesifazane osebudaleni bokubeletha ngokuya ngokukhanga kwakhe ngokocansi nokufiseleka.
Abesifazane bangaphinda babonise lesi simo sengqondo socansi, kodwa bavame ukugxila ezintweni ezingezona ezocansi zalokho abangaba nesithakazelo kumuntu omusha kubo. Isizathu salezi zindlela zokuziphatha ezingafani sisemehlukweni wezinhloso imvelo ezibekela owesilisa nowesifazane.
I-spermatozoa yesilisa ishibhile ngokomzimba futhi kulula ukuyikhiqiza. Futhi lapho indoda iyisebenzisa kaningi futhi ikhuthele ngokwengeziwe, iphumelela ngokwengeziwe ngokuziphendukela kwemvelo.
Abesifazane bazalwa benesilinganiso esilinganiselwe sama-follicles kuma-ovari angazala iqanda. Kungumkhiqizo obiza kakhulu we-metabolic ongakwazi ukugcwaliswa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, owesifazane ucabangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo okuhambisana nokukhulelwa. Ngakho-ke, ngokuziphendukela kwemvelo, uphoqeleka ukuba aqaphele kakhulu mayelana ne-ovarian reserve yakhe, ehlinzeka ngenzalo, futhi kubaluleke kakhulu ekukhetheni abangaba abalingani bobulili.
Abesifazane bakwazi kangcono ukumelana nokukhanga okungokomzimba nokukhanga kobulili kowesilisa futhi bagcine ubuhlobo busesigabeni se-platonic. Lokhu kuzivumela ukuba zimazi kangcono lowo muntu futhi zimnqume njengokufanelekelayo (noma cha) ebuhlotsheni obuseduze obengeziwe, obubeka umthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu ngokungenakuqhathaniswa kobulili obubuthakathaka kunabaqinile.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amadoda awadingi ukubheka kude kangaka ngekusasa, ngakho anqotshwa kalula izifiso zobulili.
Lo mehluko oyisisekelo phakathi kobulili obubili usiza ukuqonda kangcono ukuthi kungani amadoda evame ukubona ukunakwa kobungane kowesifazane njengophawu lwesithakazelo sobulili, futhi abesifazane bayashaqeka lapho umngane wayizolo eziphatha «ngamanyala.»
Umkhuba omusha wokuxhumana nabantu — «abangane abanezinzuzo» — uhlanganisa ucansi phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane abangabangane nje
Amadoda acacile kakhulu kule ndaba - uma ekuqaleni bevuma ukuthi bangabangane nje, khona-ke balindele okufanayo kowesifazane. Kodwa ubulili obubuthakathaka bunemizwa kakhudlwana, futhi ngokuvamile ubungane ngokungazi buphenduka ukudlala ngothando noma ukuthandana.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokuthembana ngezimfihlo zokuphila kwakho siqu, nazana kangcono, thola ubuthakathaka, funda ukukhohlisa, ukuze ukwazi ukusebenzisa lolu lwazi ngokungazi lutho ukunqoba umngane. Futhi lokhu kugcwele imiphumela.
Inkambiso entsha yezenhlalo “yabangane abanezinzuzo,” lapho owesilisa nowesifazane behlala bengelutho ngaphandle nje kokuba abangane kodwa behlanganyela ubulili ngezikhathi ezithile, kungase kubonakale kuvumela izinhlangothi zombili ukuba zigweme ukuzenza sengathi akukho ukungezwani okuvusa inkanuko phakathi kwethu. .
Nokho, ubudlelwano obunjalo bufaneleka kakhulu kwabesilisa futhi abanelisi kangako abesifazane. Kuzakhamuzi zaseVenus, lokhu kunalokho kuwukuyekethisa, ngoba ngokwemvelo yabo bavame ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano obuseduze nobuhlala isikhathi eside nomlingani.