Okuqukethwe
Ubungane bekulokhu kucatshangelwa futhi kukhulunywe ngabo kusukela ezikhathini zasendulo. Kodwa ingabe kungenzeka ukuqondiswa iziphetho okhokho abafinyelela kuzo lapho kuziwa othandweni oluqotho nozwela? Ake sihlaziye izinganekwane ezinhlanu ngobungane. Yiziphi eziseyiqiniso, futhi yiziphi eziye zakhula ekucwaseni osekunesikhathi eside kudlulelwe yisikhathi?
Lobu budlelwano bakhelwe phezu kokuzwelana, ezintweni ezithandwayo kanye nokuthandwayo, emkhubeni osekunesikhathi eside ukhona. Kodwa hhayi ngenkontileka: cishe asikaze sixoxe nabangane ngokuthi singobani komunye nomunye nokuthi yini esiyilindele ekhelini lethu. Futhi mancane amathuba okuthi sihlele ikusasa elihlangene ngale kohambo olulandelayo lokuya ethiyetha.
Asinayo ikhodi yobungane ngaphandle kokuhlakanipha kwesintu, okuye kwahlanganisa imibono evamile eyamukelwayo mayelana nendlela abangani abaziphatha ngayo, ngezinye izikhathi ngendlela exakayo ( «ubungani buwubungane, kodwa buhlukene nogwayi»), ngezinye izikhathi ngendlela yothando («don't have ama-ruble ayikhulu, kodwa ube nabangane abayikhulu.
Kodwa ungamethemba kanjani? Umelaphi we-Gestalt u-Andrey Yudin usisiza ukuthi siqinisekise ubuqiniso bezinganekwane ezinhlanu ezivame kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, ukholelwa ukuthi noma yisiphi isisho siyiqiniso esimweni esivele kuso, kodwa sihlanekezela iqiniso kuphela uma isikhulumi sihlukana nencazelo yokuqala. Futhi manje okuningi...
Umngane weqiniso
Iqiniso ngokwengxenye
“Yebo, singavuma ukuthi lapho singena ezimeni ezinzima, ezicindezelayo ngisho nezidlulele kanye nabangane, thina, njengomthetho, sithola okuthile okusha kubantu ebesingeke sikwazi ngabo ekuphileni kwansuku zonke.
Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi “inkathazo” ngokwayo ixhumene nabangane abafanayo noma ithinta izithakazelo zabo futhi ngaleyo ndlela ibanxenxele ezenzweni ezingajabulisi kithi. Isibonelo, ngokombono womuntu odakayo, abangani abenqaba ukumboleka imali ngesikhathi sokuzitika ngokweqile babukeka njengezitha ezimshiya ngesikhathi esinzima, kodwa ukwenqaba kwabo kanye nokuphazamiseka kwesikhashana kokukhulumisana kungaba isenzo sothando. kanye nokunakekela.
Futhi esinye isibonelo lapho lesi sisho singasebenzi: ngezinye izikhathi, ukungena enhlekeleleni evamile, abantu benza izinto eziwubuwula noma ngisho nokukhaphela, okuyinto kamuva abazisola ngayo ngobuqotho. Ngakho-ke, ngaphezu kwalesi saga, kubalulekile ukukhumbula esinye: «Umuntu ubuthakathaka. Futhi kusasele kithi ukuthi sinqume ukuthi siyamthethelela yini umngane ngobuthakathaka bakhe.
Umngane omdala ungcono kunababili abasha
Iqiniso ngokwengxenye
“Ingqondo ehluzekile isitshela ukuthi uma umngane ebekezelela ukuba khona kwethu iminyaka eminingi futhi angasishiyi, khona-ke cishe ubaluleke kakhulu futhi unokwethenjelwa kunomuntu ohamba naye ongahleliwe onengqikithi yesiko efana neyethu. Kodwa-ke, ekusebenzeni, leli qiniso lisebenza ngokuphelele kuphela kulabo ababambelele ngokuphelele ekukhuleni kwabo.
Eqinisweni, uma simatasa ngokuzazi, khona-ke sivame ukulahlwa ngokuphelele noma cishe ngokuphelele ukushintsha umbuthano wethu wabangane njalo ngemva kweminyaka embalwa. Kuba mnandi nabangane bakudala, ngoba ngemva kweminyaka ethile abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi sekwephuze kakhulu ukuba bafunde okuthile okusha, ukuhlola umhlaba, sebevele bazi konke.
Kulokhu, ukuxhumana nabo kancane kancane kuyeka ukusigcwalisa ngokomoya nangokwengqondo futhi kuphenduke umkhuba - njengokuzwela njengoba kuyisicefe.
Ngitshele ukuthi ubani umngane wakho futhi ngizokutshela ukuthi ungubani
Engalungile
“Lesi sisho sihlezi sibonakala kimina njengesenzo sokungahloniphi nokuthanda ukuthenga kubantu.
Uma ngiyizwa, ngikhumbula i-documentary ekhuluma ngembongi yaseCanada (Le Incazelo Yesicebi), owayehlushwa i-schizophrenia esabekayo, ehlala emgwaqweni, ngezikhathi ezithile engena emaphoyiseni nasezikhungweni futhi ebangela ukuhlupheka okukhulu emndenini wakhe - futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo. isikhathi sasingumngane womculi ohlakaniphile nembongi uLeonard Cohen, owayemsiza ngezikhathi ezithile ukuba aphume kulezi zimo.
Yiziphi iziphetho esingazithola ngoLeonard Cohen kulobu bungane? Ngaphandle kokuthi wayengumuntu ojulile, ongagxilile ngesithombe sakhe senkanyezi. Singabangane hhayi nje ngoba sifana. Kwesinye isikhathi ubudlelwano babantu budlulela kuyo yonke imikhawulo yobunikazi bese buvela emazingeni angaphezu kwamandla okulawula ingqondo.
Abangane babangane bethu bangabangane bethu
Engalungile
“Lesisaga sangisiza ukuthi ngikhumbule umthetho wokunquma uphawu lomkhiqizo wezinombolo eziphozithivu nezinegethivu ebangeni lesithathu, kodwa umqondo ojwayelekile otholakala kuwo uphelele kulokhu. Kusekelwe esifisweni saphakade sokuhlukanisa umhlaba ube omhlophe nomnyama, ube yizitha nabangane, futhi ngokuvumelana nemibandela elula. Eqinisweni, lesi sifiso asigcwaliseki.
Ubudlelwano bobungani bukhula hhayi kuphela ngesisekelo sokufana kwabantu, kodwa futhi nesimo, ngenxa yesipiliyoni esivamile sokuphila. Futhi uma, ngokwesibonelo, kukhona abantu ababili empilweni yami, ngamunye engidla usawoti kasawoti ngezikhathi ezihlukene, lokhu akusho ukuthi, njengoba behlangene enkampanini efanayo, ngeke bathole ukunengeka okukhulu komunye nomunye. okunye. Mhlawumbe ngenxa yezizathu mina ngokwami engangingeke ngiziqagele kusengaphambili.
Abukho ubungane besifazane
Engalungile
“Ngo-2020, kungamahloni ukwenza izitatimende ezibonisa ubulili eziyisibonelo. Ngempumelelo efanayo, umuntu angasho ukuthi abukho ubungane besilisa, kanye nobungane phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane, ingasaphathwa eyobulili nabantu abangenabo kanambambili.
Impela, lokhu kuyinganekwane. Ngikholwa ukuthi ngamunye wethu mkhulu ngokungenakulinganiswa futhi uyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunobulili bethu. Ngakho-ke, ukunciphisa ukubonakaliswa komphakathi kuzindima zobulili kusho ukungaliboni ihlathi lezihlahla. Ngibone izimo eziningi zobungane besifazane obuqinile besikhathi eside, okuhlanganisa ukuzinikela, ukuzinikela nokubambisana.
Kimina kubonakala sengathi lo mbono usekelwe kwenye inkolelo-mbono, ukuthi ubungane babantu besifazane buyaphela ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokumelene nokuncintisana, ikakhulukazi, kwabesilisa. Futhi le nganekwane ejulile, kubonakala kimi, iwukubonakaliswa kombono wezwe omncane kakhulu kanye nokungakwazi ukubona kumuntu wesifazane incazelo yakhe yobukhona ibanzi kakhulu kunesifiso sokuba ngcono kunabangane bakhe futhi ashaye isoka labo.
Futhi, yiqiniso, ukujula nokuzinza kobungane besilisa kuvame ukuthandwa. Kuye kwaba nokukhashelwa okuningi ekuphileni kwami ngabangane besilisa kunabangane besifazane.”