Indlela yokungabi nabantwana: 17 amaqiniso mayelana nalabo abangafuni ukuba nezingane

Ikhulu lesi-XNUMX seliphenduke inkathi yokulwela amalungelo alabo ngokwesiko abahlaziswa, bethukwa, bafuna ukuzihlukanisa noma ngisho nokucekela phansi ngokomzimba. “Futhi ngifuna ukusho izwi lami ngivikela abantu abaye bayilahla indima yabazali, bazikhethela eminye imigomo nezindlela,” kubhala isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uBella de Paulo.

Ubhekisela komunye wemisebenzi edume kakhulu enikelwe ekungabi nabantwana, incwadi yesazi-mlando uRachel Chrastil "Indlela yokungabi namntwana: umlando nefilosofi yokuphila ngaphandle kwezingane", ehlanganisa kabanzi isenzakalo sokungabi nabantwana kanye nesimo sengqondo ngakho emphakathini. Yini eshintshile, ishintshe kanjani, futhi yini eye yashintsha phakathi neminyaka engu-500 edlule?

Ukungabi nangane noma okungenayo ingane?

Okokuqala, kudingeka sichaze amagama. U-Charsteel ubheka igama elithi «nulliparous» elisetshenziswa odokotela njengelingamukelekile, ikakhulukazi njengoba lingeke libhekisele emadodeni angenazo izingane. Igama elithi "i-childfree", okungukuthi, "elikhululekile ezinganeni", ngokombono wakhe, linombala onzima kakhulu.

Ukhetha ukusebenzisa igama elithi "ongenangane" maqondana nabantu abangafuni ukuba nezingane. Nakuba leli gama libonisa ukuntula, ukuntula okuthile, futhi akakubheki ukungabikho kwezingane njengenkinga.

“Ngibiza abangenabantwana labo abangenabo abantwana, okungezona ezemvelo noma zokutholwa,” kuchaza uChrastil. "Nalabo abangakaze babambe iqhaza ekukhuliseni ingane futhi abakaze bathathe imithwalo yemfanelo yokunakekela."

UChrastil akanangane yena - hhayi ngoba engakwazi ukuba ngumama, kodwa ngoba akakaze afune. Uhlanganyela amaqiniso mayelana nendlela izimo zengqondo mayelana nabantu abangenabantwana kanye nokungabi nabantwana okushintshe ngayo kule minyaka engu-500 edlule.

Ukungabi nabantwana - i-anomaly noma evamile?

1. Ukungabi nabantwana akuyona into entsha.

Ukungabi nazingane kuye kwanda emadolobheni asenyakatho yeYurophu kusukela cishe ngekhulu lama-20. Ukukhula kwengane kwakubhekwa njengokungajwayelekile, kwathatha iminyaka engaba ngu-XNUMX, kwase kubuya ukungabi nabantwana, "okucasulayo" futhi okuxoxwe kabanzi kunangaphambili. Isimo sokungabi nabantwana emhlabeni wonke: sikhona kuwo wonke amasiko, futhi ngezikhathi ezahlukene nasezindaweni ezahlukene sasiphathwa ngendlela ehlukile.

2. Inani eliphakeme kakhulu labesifazane abangenabantwana laphawulwa kulabo abazalwa ngo-1900

U-24% wabo awukaze ube nezingane. Kulabo abazalwa eminyakeni engu-50 kamuva, phakathi kuka-1950 no-1954, bangama-17% kuphela abesifazane abaneminyaka engu-45 abangakaze babelethe.

3. Ngo-1900, abesifazane baba nengxenye yezingane eziningi kunango-1800.

Isibonelo, ngo-1800, isilinganiso sezingane eziyisikhombisa savela emndenini owodwa, futhi ngo-1900 - kusuka kwezintathu kuya kwezine.

I-psychology yabangenangane nalabo ababalahlayo

4. Ngesikhathi seNguquko, ingcindezi yomphakathi yayiqondiswe ekuphoqeni abesifazane ukuthi babelethe

Isizathu sezinyathelo ezinjalo ezinzima ngo-1517-1648 "kwakuwukwesaba ukuthi abesifazane bazonquma ukubalekela umsebenzi wabo ongcwele." Ngokusobala, ngaphandle komkhaya futhi bengenazo izingane, babezizwa bengcono kakhulu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, amadoda angenabantwana awazange alahlwe ngezinga elifanayo nabesifazane, futhi ayengajeziswa.

5. Ngekhulu lesi-XNUMX, owesifazane onjalo wayengasolwa ngokuthakatha futhi ashiswe esigxotsheni.

6. Inkolelo-mbono yowesifazane ongenayo ingane njengomuntu ohambayo, ozicabangelayo, owonakele isikhona amakhulu eminyaka.

UChrastil ubhekisela encwadini ka-Adam Smith ethi The Wealth of Nations, lapho abhala khona: “Azikho izikhungo zomphakathi zokufundisa abesifazane ...

7. Phakathi kwekhulu lesi-XNUMX nele-XNUMX, abesifazane babezimisele kancane ukushada kunokuba babe nezingane.

UChrastil ucaphuna ipheshana le-1707 elithi, The 15 Pluses of a Single Life, nelinye elanyatheliswa ngo-1739, Iseluleko Esibalulekile Kwabesifazane Ekugwemeni Umshado njengezibonelo.

8. Inani elikhulu labantu abangenabantwana engxenyeni yesibili yekhulu lamashumi amabili ngokuvamile lihlotshaniswa nokusungulwa kwamaphilisi okulawula ukuzalwa.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, kunabantu abaningi abanesizungu. Kodwa uChrastil ukholelwa ukuthi kukhona okunye okubaluleke kakhulu - «ukubekezelelana okukhula kulabo abashiya imodeli yendabuko yomndeni bese bekhetha indlela yabo. Kuhlanganisa nabantu abanjalo bayashada, kodwa bangabi abazali.

9. Umbono wokukhetha komuntu siqu kakade ngo-1960 waqala ukuhlotshaniswa nemibono yentando yeningi nenkululeko.

Isizungu nokungabi nabantwana kwakuke kwaba namahloni, kodwa manje sekuhlangene nenkululeko eyengeziwe yokuzicabangela. Nokho, nakuba kubuhlungu ukuvuma, abantu basabagxeka labo abangabatholi abantwana, ikakhulukazi uma belahla indima yabazali ngokuzithandela. Nokho ngawo-1970, "abantu bakwazi ukushintsha imiqondo yabo mayelana nokungabi nabantwana ngendlela eyayingakaze yenzeke ngaphambili."

Ukuqeda inkolo yobumama

10. UThomas Robert Malthus, umbhali wencwadi ethi An Essay on the Law of Population, wafaka nesiqephu ngo-1803 encoma abesifazane abangashadile nabangenabantwana.

"Emsebenzini wakhe, inhlalakahle yomphakathi, hhayi i-matron, yabekwa endaweni yokuqala." Kodwa wabe eseshada futhi ngo-1826 wasusa lesi siqephu kumagazini wokugcina.

11. Akubona bonke abaholi bezepolitiki ababekhuthaza abesifazane ukuthi babelethe

Isibonelo, ngo-1972, uMongameli waseMelika uRichard Nixon wadala ikomidi lokulawula inzalo futhi walahla imindeni emikhulu yendabuko yaseMelika, futhi wacela izakhamuzi ukuthi zisondele ngokuqaphela udaba "lwezingane".

12. Ukuba ngumama njengento yothando kwakhishwa ngo-1980

UJean Veevers, owashicilela i-Childless by Choice. Engxoxweni, wathi abesifazane abaningi abangenalutho abakubheki ukuba ngumama “njengempumelelo ephawulekayo noma isenzo sokudala … Kwabesifazane abaningi, ingane iyincwadi noma isithombe abangasoze basibhala, noma iziqu zobudokotela abangasoze baziqeda. .”

13. Ngo-2017, u-Orna Donat waphonsa izinkuni emlilweni, eshicilela isihloko esithi "Ukuzisola ngokuba ngumama".

Iqoqe izingxoxo zabesifazane abazisola ngokuthi sebengomama.

engenangane futhi ejabule

14. Ezikhathini zamanje ukuganana akusho ukuba nezingane, nezingane akusho nhlobo ukuthi ushadile noma ushadile.

Abantu abaningi abangashadile banezingane, futhi imibhangqwana eminingi iphila ngaphandle kwazo. Nokho, ngisho nasekhulwini elidlule kwakukholelwa ukuthi abantu abashadile kufanele babe nomntwana, futhi owesifazane ongashadile kufanele angabi nabantwana. "Ekupheleni kwekhulu lesi-XNUMX nasekuqaleni kwekhulu lesi-XNUMX, labo abakhetha ukungabi nabantwana nabo benqaba ukushada."

15. Izingane ezindala ezingenazo izingane zincamela ukuhlala zodwa noma emakhaya asebekhulile

Kodwa abantu abanezingane bavame ukushiywa bodwa noma bagcine benakekelwa uhulumeni. Isizathu siwukuthi izingane azifuni ukunakekela abazali bazo, ukuthuthela kwamanye amadolobha namazwe, ukuvula ibhizinisi, ukuboleka, ukuxabana nokuhlukanisa, ukusebenzisa utshwala nezidakamizwa. Banezimpilo zabo, nezinkinga zabo, abanandaba nabazali babo.

16 Njengeminyaka eyi-150 edlule, abesifazane abangenabantwana bazimele kakhulu namuhla.

Bafundile, abanayo inkolo, bagxile kakhulu emisebenzini, balula ezindimeni zobulili, futhi bancamela ukuhlala edolobheni.

17. Kulezinsuku bahola kakhulu kunonina, badla izambane likapondo, bayazethemba futhi bayazenzela.

Ukuphila kuyashintsha, futhi, ngenhlanhla, manje isimo sengqondo ngabesifazane nabesilisa abangenabantwana sihlukile kulokho esasiyikho eminyakeni engu-500 edlule. Abasashiswa esigxotsheni noma baphoqwe ukuba babe nezingane. Nokho, abaningi basacabanga ukuthi owesifazane ongenangane akajabuli ngempela futhi udinga ukusizwa ukuze abone ukuthi ulahlekelwa kangakanani. Gwema imibuzo engenabuhlakani nezeluleko eziwusizo. Mhlawumbe akanamntwana ngoba kuwukukhetha kwakhe.

Mayelana nombhali: U-Bella de Paulo uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kwezenhlalo kanye nomlobi we-Behind the Door of Deception.