Okuqukethwe
Ubulili obubonakalayo sebuphelile isikhathi eside ukubhekwa njengento ehlanekezelwe noma inqwaba yezithandani ezihlukene. Kwabashadikazi abaningi, lokhu kuyindlela yokwengeza ukuhlukahluka ebuhlotsheni obuseduze. Uyini ngempela u-Wirth omuhle futhi kungani ungakuyeki?
Isihloko socansi asisoze sayeka ukusijabulisa. Asifuni ukubhekana nayo kuphela: sinesithakazelo ukuthi "ihlelwa kanjani", yini ethinta izinga layo, yiziphi izitayela emkhakheni wokuphila okuseduze.
Sinemithombo eminingi yolwazi esinayo: izihloko eziku-inthanethi, izincwadi, izifundo zevidiyo. Uma kunesifiso sokufunda okwengeziwe nokwandisa i-repertoire yombhede, kunamathuba amaningi.
Enye yezindlela ezidumile zokunonga ubudlelwano obuseduze ubulili obubonakalayo, noma "i-virt." Lolu uhlobo lokuxhumana lapho abantu abasemkhathini beshintshana imiyalezo edlalwayo, izithombe, amavidiyo namafayela alalelwayo ukuze bazinike bona kanye nabalingani babo injabulo yocansi.
Kungani abantu begwema ubulili obubonakalayo?
Kwenzeka ukuthi umlingani oyedwa unikeza ukuzama into entsha, kuyilapho omunye enamahloni futhi esaba. Kunjalo, zonke izinhlobo zocansi zingenziwa kuphela ngemvume efanayo. Kodwa isizathu sokwenqaba kungase kungabi ukungafuni ukwenza, isibonelo, «wirth». Iphuzu lingase libe ekufanelaneni ngokobulili kwabantu ababili, kanye nasekusondelaneni ngokomzwelo.
Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi abashadile beza kuchwepheshe ngesicelo socansi, futhi umsebenzi uqala ngokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana kwabo ngokomzwelo. Futhi yilapho kuphela lapho ungadlulela ekuxoxeni ngokusondelana ngokomzimba.
Kungani othile kumbhangqwana engase axwaye ubulili obubonakalayo? Lokhu kwenzeka ngenxa yokungathenjwa. Abantu besaba ukuthi umlingani wanamuhla angase athumele incwadi noma ividiyo eseduze kunethiwekhi kusasa, wabelane ngayo nabangani (ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kwenzeka ngempela). Ukuvuma umaqondana ukuthi awumethembi kunzima impela. Ngakho-ke, kulula ngomuntu ukuthi (noma) akathandi ucansi kude, noma ukuthi lokhu kuwubuwula, i-surrogate.
Futhi umuntu akafuni ukwenza izincwadi zokudlala ngoba kude uphumule kumlingani. Ufuna ukuba yedwa, hhayi okubonakalayo, kodwa namanje ukusondelana.
Yini enhle ngabangane bepeni?
Yiqiniso, ubulili obubonakalayo bungenziwa kuphela nomuntu omethemba ngokuphelele. Futhi lokhu kuthembana akufanele kusekelwe kokuthi “Ngikholwa ngoba ngisothandweni”, kodwa ebufakazini obuvele bukhona bokuziphatha okuhle komuntu.
Uma inkinga yokuthembana ixazululiwe, khona-ke ungazilalela wena - hlobo luni lokucwasa olukuvimbela ukuthi uzame lolu hlobo locansi. Mangisho ukuthi i-Wirth inezinzuzo eziningi ngempela.
Ucansi olubonakalayo...
- Izindlela ezibalulekile zokugcina ukusondelana kuleyo mibhangqwana ephoqeleka ukuthi iqhelelane isikhathi eside.
- Kuyasiza ukukhulula - ngokuvamile kumuntu onamahloni kulula ukubhala into yokudlala kunokusho. Futhi ukuba nengxoxo yocansi ocingweni kulula kunokuphila.
- Kuyasiza ukuqinisa umndeni, ukugcina abalingani kukho kokubili ukukhashelwa kanye nokuvela kokulutha kwe-porn (okuvame kakhulu emadodeni).
- Isiza ukuvuselela ubudlelwano. Ngemva kokunikezwa umsebenzi wesikole wesikole isonto lonke ukuxhumana nsuku zonke ngemiyalezo yocansi, amakhasimende abika ukuthi ukukhangana kwawo kukhule kakhulu.
- Iphephile ngokomzimba. Phakathi naso, akunakwenzeka ukukhulelwa noma ukubamba ama-STD (izifo ezithathelwana ngocansi), kungenziwa ngesikhathi sokuya esikhathini.
Ungafinyelela kanjani esivumelwaneni
Kwenzeka ukuthi umlingani oyedwa ukhuthaza ukwethulwa kwezinto ezintsha zocansi, kuhlanganise nokusetshenziswa kwe-«wirth», kanti owesibili uphikisana kakhulu nanoma yimiphi imikhiqizo emisha, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu ucansi kude. Yini okufanele uyenze kuleli cala?
- Okokuqala, ozakwethu badinga ukusho izimpikiswano zabo ngokunembe ngangokunokwenzeka. Kubalulekile ukuthi wonke umuntu aqonde ukuthi kungani umlingani efuna noma, ngokuphambene, engafuni ukwenza okuthile. Lokhu kwenzeka ohlelweni lomndeni: izinkinga endaweni eyodwa yobudlelwano uXNUMXbuXNUMX zivame ukukhuluma ngobunzima kwenye. Njengoba sesishilo kakade, kulokhu, isizathu singase sibe ukungathembeki kumlingani noma uhlobo oluthile lokungezwani okufihliwe ngenxa yenkinga yomndeni, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nezindaba zezezimali. Noma mhlawumbe ukungabaza komunye wabalingani.
- Khona-ke kuyafaneleka ukubona ukuthi lo mehluko ungaqedwa kanjani.
- Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somndeni kanye nesazi sezocansi sizosiza njalo umbhangqwana ukuthola izindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokuxazulula ukungezwani kwezocansi nokuthuthukisa izinga lokuphila okuseduze.