Okuqukethwe
Nakuba ukuhlukunyezwa kungase kungagcini nje ukubhubhisa, kodwa futhi kuyakha, ngokuvamile sibhekene nenketho yokuqala, ebhubhisayo. Ngeshwa, asikwazi njalo lokhu. Ukuqonda kanjani ukuthi sesiphenduke abathunjwa bentukuthelo yomunye umuntu? Futhi yini okufanele siyenze ukuze sigweme ukuba abahlaseli ngokwethu? Kukhuluma ungoti.
Imvelo isifundisa ukulwela ucezu olukhulu, «ukushwabadela» nomunye, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo umphakathi ubiza ukulandela imithetho. Ekugcineni, lokhu kungqubuzana kuyasihlukanisa: silwela ukukhombisa kuphela imizwelo eyamukelekayo emphakathini, futhi siqongelela futhi sifihle eminye imizwa - ngisho kithina. Kodwa wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi izindaba zabantu abanesineke ziphela kanjani: kungaba ngokuzibhubhisa noma ukubhujiswa kwabanye.
Iqiniso liwukuthi ngokushesha noma kamuva okuqoqiwe kuyagqashuka. Uma ibhodloza, ngokuvamile ithatha uhlobo lwezifo ze-psychosomatic. Lapho izacile, iphuka lapho: isibonelo, inhliziyo ingase ingakwazi ukumelana nayo. Uma imizwa engalungile eqoqwe iphuma, khona-ke labo abaseduze bayahlupheka, nalabo abangakwazi ukuphendula noma ukuzivikela - ngokuvamile izingane nezilwane.
U-Lars von Trier wenze umsebenzi omuhle kakhulu wokuthwebula uhlobo lokuhlukunyezwa kwabantu e-Dogville. Umlingiswa wakhe oyinhloko, uGrace osemncane, njengoba ebaleke eqenjini lezigelekeqe, uthola insindiso edolobheni elincane. Abantu bendawo bahle kakhulu kunomunye! elungele ukumfihla. Futhi abafuni lutho ngokubabuyisela. Nokho, ngaphandle kokusiza endlini noma ukunakekela izingane. Kepha kancane kancane i-Dogville enhle iphenduka ikamelo lokuhlushwa lentombazane.
Bekungenzekani uma itshe esicathulweni lingasithukuthelisi? Singaba yisisulu esithobekile esamukela ukuba khona kwaleli tshe, sibekezelele ubuhlungu, sivimbele ukunyakaza kwakhe futhi, ngenxa yalokho, sife ukufa okubuhlungu uma itshe libangela i-sepsis. Ungahlala kanjani emgqeni omncane, kwesokunxele okuwumhlatshelo, futhi kwesokudla kuwukuhlukumeza?
Ukuqonda kanjani ukuthi sesiphenduke izisulu zolaka
Ukuze sinqume ukuthi ubudlova obulimazayo bubhekiswe kithi, kubalulekile ukwethemba imizwa futhi silalele imizwa yethu. Lena enye yezindlela ezishesha kakhulu futhi ezinokwethenjelwa kakhulu zokuzulazula kulesi simo. Imizwa iyingxenye ebalulekile yokuphila kwethu. Yibo abasinika ulwazi ngezwe elisizungezile futhi banqume ukuthi kukhona okungalungile, ukuthi sisengozini. Ikhono lokubona imizwa yakho neyabanye, kanye nokuphatha imizwelo yakho, kubizwa ngokuthi ubuhlakani bemizwa.
Maningi amathuba okuba ube nolaka olulimazayo uma uhlangabezana nale mizwa:
Ukukhathazeka
Uzizwa ulahlekile: awazi ukuthi uzoshonaphi, ufuna into engenanjongo, usenkungwini. Akukho ukucaca nokungafihli. "Ucishiwe" endleleni yokuphila, awunakuzisiza futhi udangele. Ungathanda ukusabela emazwini noma ezenzweni zabanye abantu, kodwa njengoba usesimweni sokudangala, awunalo ithuba elinjalo.
ukukhathazeka
Ukuba khona nje komunye umuntu kukukhipha ekulinganiseni - kuba nomuzwa wokukhathazeka, mhlawumbe nokundindizela okuncane. Futhi kukhona izifiso ezimbili eziphambene - ngesikhathi esifanayo ubonakala udonseleka kumuntu, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo uxoshwa kuye. Uyaqonda ukuthi, cishe, wenze iphutha ekuhloleni isimo samanje nendima yakho kuso.
Ukucindezeleka okuphenduka ukunganeliseki
Uzizwa ungakulungele neze ukuthi umuntu akazifezi izithembiso ozenze kuwe futhi lokho okulindele akufezeki. Zizwe ukuthi amaphupho ashabalala kanjani, nethemba liyashabalala. Qonda ukuthi uvumela umuntu asebenzise wena.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma uba isisulu?
Ukuphuma kulo "umbuthano onolaka" kuzosisiza ukuba sethembe imizwa yethu, siqinise umbono wethu ngalokho okwenzekayo kanye nesipiliyoni esihle sokubambisana nabanye abantu.
Kungani uqinisa owakho umbono? Amakhasimende ami amaningi awakwazanga ukulwa nolaka olubi ngenxa yokuntula ukuzethemba. Phela, ngokuvamile asikunaki okuhlangenwe nakho kwethu siqu, sicabanga: “Kwabonakala kimina.” Kodwa sidinga ukuzwa ukuthi sitshelwani futhi kanjani. Yizwa esikushoyo.
Futhi lapho siqiniseka ukuthi bekungabonakali kithi nokuthi ngempela siphathwa ngendlela ehlukile kunalokho esikufunayo, siyoba nesizathu sokuzivikela.
Okunye okubalulekile yisipiliyoni sokubambisana okuhle. Uma sinolwazi ekubonakalisweni okwakhayo kobudlova, singakwazi ukunquma kalula umugqa phakathi kobudlova obunobuhle nobubi, sibona umehluko phakathi kwabo.
Ukubambisana kuyisibonelo sokusebenzelana lapho kungekho abahluliwe nabawinile, bengekho ababusi nezinceku, lapho singekho isidingo sokubusa nokulalela. Ukubambisana kwakhelwe phezu kwesivumelwano esivumelanayo kanye nokusebenza ngokubambisana. Ngayo, singakwazi:
veza imicabango yakho futhi uzwe omunye;
zibone wena nabanye;
zazise wena nabanye;
thethelela amaphutha akho kanye nabanye;
hlonipha u-"cha" wakho kanye nomunye;
zazi izifiso zakho futhi ube nesithakazelo ezifisweni zomunye;
wazi amakhono akho futhi ufunde ngamakhono abanye;
lwela ukukhula futhi unikele ukukhulela komunye;
wazise isizungu sakho futhi uhloniphe isizungu somunye;
yenza ngejubane lakho futhi unikeze leli thuba komunye;
yiba nguwe futhi uvumele omunye kube nguwe.
Uma kungekho okuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo, kufanele kutholakale. Isibonelo, ebuhlotsheni nomelaphi. Kule ndawo ephephile, iklayenti, ngokwabelana ngemicabango ejulile, izinkolelo, nemizwelo, iqala ukuxhumana nomelaphi. Futhi lokhu kuthintana kunomthelela ezinguqukweni empilweni yakhe. Uma kunendawo nendawo empilweni lapho silalelisisa khona futhi sinomusa, sithola amandla okuphuma kumbuthano onolaka. Futhi siyaqonda ukuthi wonke umuntu ufanelwe ukuhlonishwa nokuthandwa.
Yini okufanele uyenze uma wena ngokwakho ubonisa ulaka?
Ukubona umhlaseli kuwena, udinga ukuzazi kahle. Ngesikhathi sokusebenza kwami kwengqondo (futhi sengisebenze iminyaka engaphezu kwe-12), asikho nesisodwa isicelo sokusebenza ngolaka lwami. Akekho oke wafika ukuzofunda ukuthoba intshiseko yakhe.
Ngokuvamile, umuntu ufika nezikhalazo njengokuthi "okuthile okungalungile komunye umuntu noma kulo mhlaba", futhi kakade kule nqubo kuvela ukuthi yena ngokwakhe ungumthombo wobudlova. Akujabulisi ukuvuma, kodwa ukuqashelwa kuyisinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu nesiqinisekile kulesi simo.
Ukuphulukiswa kufika lapho umuntu, noma okwesikhashana, eyeka lokho angathanda ukuba yikho, futhi ezama ukuba yilokho ayikho. Ukuzibona njengomhlukumezi, ukuqala ukuxolisa kusho ukuzincisha “isilinganiso” semizwelo esiza ekudambiseni ukushuba kwezinzwa. Ukuqashelwa okunjalo kudinga isibindi esikhulu futhi kufanele indondo yegolide!
Udinga ukufunda uhlobo lolaka lwakho futhi uqonde ukuthi ukuqhuma kwentukuthelo akuyixazululi inkinga.
Ukuphumula okuza ngemva kwesenzo sobudlova akusiniki lutho ngaphandle kokunambitha okubabayo, futhi umuzwa wokungabaza okujulile nokungabi nakuzisiza usaqhubeka uphila ngaphakathi.
Intukuthelo izalwa ngenxa yokucindezeleka kwangaphakathi, okuthi ngezikhathi ezithile kuqhume futhi kuhlukumeze abanye. Esikhundleni sokugxila emithonjeni yokucasuka, kufanele ucabange ngezixazululo ezingenzeka zenkinga. Okokuqala, yiba nesibopho ngezenzo zakho. Futhi uqondise ukungezwani kwakho emisebenzini: kwezamabhizinisi, ezemidlalo, ubuciko, ukuzijabulisa.
Ukubhekana nolaka lwakho uwedwa akulula, futhi ukuhlala endaweni yentukuthelo kuyingozi. Udinga ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe ozokuhola ngomoya ophansi futhi ngokuphumelelayo ukusuka embuthanweni onolaka ukuya kumbuthano wokuzinaka, ukunakekela kanye nesimo sengqondo sokusekela ngawe. Uma imayini yolaka iqhuma, khona-ke ngeke neze ube wedwa ekuzithatheni ucezu ngalunye.