Umuntu angase acabange ukuthi abancane bangabantu abathandekayo, ukuthi banelungelo elingaphezu kwabadala babo, ukwanga okwengeziwe ... Kodwa ngokokuqaphela okuningi okwenziwa odokotela bengqondo yezingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iliphi izinga lokuzalwa, ingane inamalungelo athile kanye nezingqinamba.

Njengoba uMarcel Rufo echaza, lo mbono wezinga leminyaka kuzelamani usuphelelwe yisikhathi. Okubaluleke kakhulu ekukhuleni komntwana, ebudlelwaneni bakhe nabazali bakhe noma ekwakhiweni kwekusasa lakhe ubuntu bakhe namandla akhe okuzivumelanisa nokushintsha.

Abazali namuhla bafunda ngemfundo futhi banokufinyelela emithonjeni eminingi yokwaziswa ebavumela ukuba bathuthuke ngokushesha.

Ukuya kudokotela wezengqondo noma ukucela ukusekelwa kwabazali sekuyinsakavukela umchilo wesidwaba, kuyilapho bekuyihlazo nomuzwa wokwehluleka ngaphambilini. U-Marcel Rufo ukholelwa ukuthi "abazali benze intuthuko kangangokuthi ukuhlukana phakathi kwabadala nabancane kuye kwanyamalala".

Abazali abazethembayo ngokwengeziwe ngokuhlangenwe nakho

Okungase kubhekwe njengelungelo kuthunjana isiqinisekiso sokuthi abazali bakhe baye babonisa umusa kumntwana wokuqala. Kanye nomdala, bakwazi ukuzithola bengabazali, ukuzwa izinga labo lokubekezela, isifiso sabo sokudlala, ukumelana kwabo nezingxabano, ukulunga kwezinqumo zabo… futhi banqobe ukungabaza kwabo.

Abazali manje banesifiso sokuzibuza, ukuze bathuthuke. Bafunde nge-psychology yobuntwana kwabezindaba futhi bayakwazi ukufunda emaphutheni enziwe nangaphambili.

Isibonelo, uma beshesha kakhulu ukufunda ukugibela ibhayisikili okokuqala, bazokwazi ukuguquguquka okwesibili ngokumnika isikhathi sokuzitholela yena. Lokhu kuzovimbela wonke umuntu ezinyembezini, ekucindezelekeni, ekuthukutheleni okutholwa umdala.

Ngakho kulo mongo, yebo singasho ukuthi omncane unelungelo ngomuzwa wokuqiniseka nokulondeka owunikeza abazali bakhe abalalelisisayo.

I-cadet izakha ngezibonelo anazo ezizungezile. Izibonelo zakhe eziyinhloko ngabazali bakhe kanye nengane yakhe endala. Ngaleyo ndlela unabantu abanokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe abatholakalayo ukumbonisa, ukudlala, ukuhleka. Uvikelwa abantu abadala futhi uzizwa elondekile.

Izithiyo nemiphumela

Lesi simo sifanelekile. Kodwa akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Omncane angase afike emndenini noma engafunwa. Lapho abazali bengenaso isikhathi noma isifiso sokudlala. Ukuhwebelana okulinganiselwe nengane yokuqala kuzodala umuzwa wokuncintisana noma ukuphikisana phakathi kwezingane. Isikhundla se-cadet akulona neze ilungelo kulesi simo.

Ngokuphambene nalokho, kuzofanele ayiphindaphinde imizamo yakhe yokuthola indawo yakhe. Uma ukuncintisana kushubile phakathi kwezelamani, angase ahlangabezane nesimo sokuzihlukanisa, inzondo, esibeka engozini amandla akhe okuhlanganiswa.

Abazali (kakhulu) bayavikela

Angase futhi abe nomuzwa wokuthi ucindezelwa ukunakwa kakhulu abazali bakhe. Abantu abadala abangafisi ukuguga bazoba nesikhundla sokuthembela kumfowabo omncane.

Bazothambekela ekukugcineni “kuncane” ukudambisa ukukhathazeka kwabo ngokuguga. Kuzodingeka alwe ukuze athole ukuzimela, ashiye ikhaya lomndeni, akhe impilo yakhe yabantu abadala.

Ngokukopisha, noma ngokuphikisa umdala wakhe, lesi sikhundla esingamenza afune ukugqama kwabanye singaba nemiphumela eminingana ebuntwini bakhe:

• Ukuthuthukiswa kokusungula;
• Isimo sengqondo sokuhlubuka ekukhetheni kwabadala bakhe;
• Ukuyenga komdala ukuze afeze izinjongo zakhe;
• Umona kwezinye izelamani.

Omdala kwakudingeka alwele imali yephakethe, uhambo lwantambama, isikhathi sokulala ... komncane kunabo bonke, indlela icacile. Abadala bakhe banomona. Ngakho-ke yebo kunezimo ezizoba lula kuye, nakanjani.

I-cadet efiselekayo nelindelekile kufanele ngaphezu kwakho konke lokho okulindelwe abazali. Kulokhu, angase alingeke ukuba afihle izifiso zabazali bakhe. Omdala wasuka ekhaya, nguye omncane ozoletha amahug, ama-kiss, isiqinisekiso se-narcissistic kubazali bakhe futhi lokho kungaba nzima kuye.

Ngokuvikelwa ngokweqile, uzibeka engcupheni yokukhathazeka kakhulu, abe novalo, umuntu angakhululeki emphakathini.

Ngakho-ke isikhundla somncane singaletha amalungelo athile kodwa futhi nezingqinamba ezinamandla. Kuye ngezimo zomkhaya, nendlela isimo esibhekana ngayo, omncane uyozizwa engasenalo ithuba lokuba ngowokugcina kuzelamani.