Okuqukethwe
Usizi lwenzeka emindenini kaDiana Shurygina noSergei Semenov. UDiana wasinda odlameni futhi waba yinto yokuhlukunyezwa, uSergei walahlwa yicala futhi udonsa isigwebo sakhe. Usizi lwentsha luphakamisa imibuzo yomhlaba wonke: kungani lokhu kwenzeka, umphakathi usabela kanjani kukho, futhi yini engenziwa ukuze lokhu kungenzeki ezinganeni zethu. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Yulia Zakharova uyachaza.
Entwasahlobo ka-2016, isakhamuzi sase-Ulyanovsk esineminyaka engu-17 ubudala, uDiana Shurygina, usole uSergei Semenov oneminyaka engu-21 ubudala ngokudlwengula. Inkantolo yathola uSemyonov enecala futhi yamgweba iminyaka engu-8 ekoloni lombuso eliqinile (ngemuva kokudluliswa kwecala, leli gama lancishiswa laba iminyaka emithathu nezinyanga ezintathu zombuso jikelele). Izihlobo nabangane bakaSergei abakholelwa ukuthi unecala. Ekusekeleni kwakhe, odumile I-VKontakte, isicelo sivuliwe ukuze sisayinwe. Okunye abaningi edolobheni elincane bayaphikisana nokusolwa isisulu (izinsolo zesisulu) futhi bayameseka uDiana.
Leli cala lingelinye kweziningi, kodwa baqale ukukhuluma ngalo ngemuva kweziqephu ezimbalwa zohlelo oluthi “Bayeke bakhulume”. Kungani amashumi ezinkulungwane zabantu ebamba iqhaza ezingxoxweni ezingahlobene ngqo nazo, futhi achithe isikhathi ezama ukuthola le ndaba?
Sinentshisekelo ezenzakalweni ezingase zibe nezihlobane nathi, ngisho noma ziwumcabango nje. Siyazifanisa namaqhawe ale ndaba, sizwelane nawo futhi asifuni ukuthi lesi simo sehlele thina nezithandwa zethu.
Sifunela ingane yethu izwe eliphephile — lapho abanamandla bengawasebenzisi khona amandla abo
Othile uzwelana noSergey: kuthiwani uma lokhu kwenzeka komunye wabangane bami? Nomfowethu? Kanye nami? Waya emcimbini wagcina eboshiwe. Abanye bazibeka endaweni kaDiana: bangakhohlwa kanjani okwenzekile futhi baphile impilo evamile?
Izimo ezinjalo ngokwezinga elithile zisisiza ukuba sihlele ulwazi lwethu ngezwe. Sifuna ukubikezelwa, sifuna ukulawula izimpilo zethu futhi siqonde okufanele sikugweme ukuze sigweme ukungena enkingeni.
Kukhona abacabanga ngemizwa yabazali bezingane. Abanye bazibeka endaweni yabazali bakaSergey: singawavikela kanjani amadodana ethu? Kuthiwani uma behudulelwa embhedeni umkhohlisi okuvele ukuthi usemncane? Indlela yokuchaza kubo ukuthi igama elithi «cha», elishiwo umlingani nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, liwuphawu lokuyeka? Ingabe indodana iyaqonda ukuthi akudingekile ukuya ocansini nentombazane eyazi amahora ambalwa kuphela?
Futhi into embi kakhulu: kuthiwani uma indodana yami ikwazi ngempela ukudlwengula intombazane eyithandayo? Ngakho ngikhulise inunu? Akunakwenzeka ukucabanga ngakho.
Sesiyichazele kahle imithetho yomdlalo ezinganeni, zisizwisisile, ziyasilandela yini izeluleko zethu?
Abaningi bangazibeka kalula endaweni yabazali bakaDiana: kuthiwani uma indodakazi yami izithola iphakathi kwamadoda amadala adakiwe? Kuthiwani uma ephuza, ehluleka ukuzithiba, futhi othile asizakale? Noma mhlawumbe ufuna ezothando, ahlulele kabi isimo futhi angene enkingeni? Futhi uma yena ngokwakhe ecasula indoda, engayiqondi kahle imiphumela engenzeka?
Sifunela ingane yethu izwe eliphephile, lapho abanamandla bengeke basebenzise amandla abo. Kepha izifunzo zezindaba zisho okuphambene: umhlaba ukude nokuphephile. Ingabe isisulu siyoduduzwa ngokuthi siqinisile uma okwenzekile kungasashintshwa?
Sikhulisa izingane futhi sizilawule kancane kancane njalo ngonyaka: ziyakhula, zizimele. Ekugcineni, lena inhloso yethu - ukukhulisa abantu abazethembayo abakwazi ukubhekana nempilo bebodwa. Kodwa ngabe sabachazela kahle ngemithetho yomdlalo, bayasiqonda, bayasilandela iseluleko sethu? Ukufunda izindaba ezinjalo, siyaqonda ngokuqinisekile: cha, hhayi njalo.
Izimo ezinjengalezi ziveza okwethu ukwesaba. Siyazama ukuzivikela thina esibathandayo emabhadini, senza konke okusemandleni ethu ukuvimba amashwa ukuthi angenzeki. Nokho, naphezu kwemizamo yethu emihle kakhulu, ezinye izindawo zingaphezu kwamandla ethu. Sisengozini ikakhulukazi ezinganeni zethu.
Futhi-ke sizizwa sikhathazekile futhi singenamandla: senza konke esingakwenza, kodwa azikho iziqinisekiso zokuthi okwenzeka eSemyonovs naseShurygins ngeke kwenzeke kithi nabathandekayo bethu. Futhi akukhona mayelana nokuthi sikuyiphi ikamu - ekaDiana noma ekaSergei. Uma sizibandakanya ezindabeni ezimangalisayo, sonke sisekamu elilodwa: silwa nokungabi namandla kwethu nokukhathazeka.
Sizizwa sinesidingo sokwenza okuthile. Siya ku-Net, sifuna okulungile nokungalungile, sizama ukwenza umhlaba ube lula, uwenze ube lula, uqondakale futhi ubikezeleke. Kodwa ukuphawula kwethu ngaphansi kwezithombe zikaDiana noSergey ngeke kwenze umhlaba uphephe. Imbobo ekuvikelekeni kwethu ayikwazi ukugcwaliswa ngamazwana athukuthele.
Kodwa kukhona ukukhetha: singenqaba ukulwa. Qaphela ukuthi akuyona yonke into engalawulwa, futhi iphile, iqaphela ukuthi kukhona ukungaqiniseki, ukungapheleli, ukungavikeleki, ukungaqiniseki emhlabeni. Kwesinye isikhathi amashwa ayenzeka. Izingane zenza amaphutha angenakulungiseka. Futhi ngisho nangemizamo emikhulu, asikwazi njalo ukubavikela kukho konke okusemhlabeni futhi sizivikele.
Ukwamukela iqiniso elinjalo nemizwa enjalo kunzima kakhulu kunokuphawula, akunjalo? Kodwa-ke asikho isidingo sokugijima noma yikuphi, ukulwa nokufakazela.
Kodwa yini okufanele uyenze? Ukuchitha isikhathi nempilo kulokho okuthandekayo nokubalulekile kithi, ezintweni ezithakazelisayo nokuzilibazisa, kulabo esibathandayo nabathandekayo esizama kanzima ukubavikela.
Unganciphisi ukuxhumana ekulawuleni nasekuziphatheni okuhle
Nanka amanye amacebiso awusizo.
1. Chazela ingane yakho eyeve eshumini nambili ukuthi njengoba isikhula futhi isizimele, yilapho iba nesibopho esikhulu sokuphepha kwayo. Ukuthatha utshwala nezidakamizwa, ukuphumula enkampanini engaziwa konke kuyizici eziyingozi. Yena, akekho omunye, manje kufanele abheke ukuthi uyahluleka yini ukulawula, ukuthi imvelo iphephile yini.
2. Gxila emthwalweni wengane. Ubuntwana buyaphela, futhi amalungelo kuza nesibopho ngezenzo zomuntu. Izinqumo ezingalungile zingaba nemiphumela enzima, engalungiseki futhi zihlanekezele ngokujulile umkhondo wempilo.
3. Khuluma nengane yakho ngocansi
Ubuhlobo bobulili nabantu ongabazi abugcini nje ukuziphatha okubi, kodwa futhi buyingozi. Kungaholela ezifweni, udlame, ukukhwabanisa, ukukhulelwa okungahlelelwe.
4. Chazela osemusha imithetho yomdlalo: umuntu unelungelo lokwenqaba ukuya ocansini nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Naphezu kokudumala nokucasuka, igama elithi "cha" kufanele njalo libe izaba zokumisa ucansi. Uma leli gama lingezwakali, lithathwa njengengxenye yomdlalo, linganakwa, ekugcineni lingaholela ebugebengwini.
5. Misa isibonelo somuntu siqu sokuziphatha okuthembekile nokuphephile kwentsha — lokhu kuzoba impikiswano engcono kakhulu.
6. Faka imali ebudlelwaneni bokwethembana nengane yakho. Ungajahi ukuvinjelwa nokulahla. Ngakho uzokwazi okwengeziwe mayelana nokuthi izingane zisichitha kanjani isikhathi nobani. Nikeza ingane yakho usizo: idinga ukwazi ukuthi uzozama ukuyisiza uma ingena esimweni esinzima.
7. Khumbula, awukwazi ukubona kusengaphambili nokulawula yonke into. Zama ukukwamukela. Izingane zinelungelo lokwenza amaphutha, amashwa angenzeka kunoma ubani.
Ukukhulumisana kwenu makungancishiswa kuphela ekulawuleni nasekuziphatheni okuhle. Chithani isikhathi ndawonye. Xoxa ngezenzakalo ezithakazelisayo, buka amafilimu ndawonye, jabulela ukukhulumisana - izingane zikhula ngokushesha.
“Sinesiko lokudlwengula emphakathini wethu”
U-Evgeny Osin, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo:
Le ndaba idinga ukuhlaziya okude nokuphelele ngaphambi kokwenza iziphetho mayelana nokuthi kwenzekeni ngempela nokuthi ubani onesibopho ngakho. Sifuna ukwenza isimo sibe lula ngokubiza abahlanganyeli baso njengabahlukumezi nezisulu ukuze siqale ukulwela iqiniso, sivikele uhlangothi esinomuzwa wokuthi lukufanele.
Kodwa imizwa kuleli cala iyakhohlisa. Izisulu ezikulesi simo - ngenxa yezizathu ezehlukene - bekuyizinsizwa zombili. Ingxoxo esebenzayo yemininingwane yomlando wabo nokudlulela kumuntu ngamunye maningi amathuba okuba imlimaze kunokubasiza.
Engxoxweni emayelana nalesi simo, imibono emibili iyalwa. Ngokokuqala, intombazane iyona enecala ngokudlwengulwa kwayo, eyaqala yachukuluza le nsizwa ngokungaziphathi kahle kwayo, wabe eseyiphula impilo yayo. Ngokombono wesibili, insizwa iyona enecala, ngoba ezimweni ezinjalo indoda ibhekene nayo yonke into. Imizamo yokunciphisa ngokuphelele noma iyiphi indaba yokuphila kwangempela kulokhu noma kuleso sikimu esilula esichazayo, njengomthetho, izohluleka. Kodwa ukusabalala kwalezi zinhlelo ngokwazo kunemiphumela ebaluleke kakhulu emphakathini uwonke.
Lapho abantu abaningi ezweni behlanganyela futhi besabalalisa umbono othi “nguye onecala”, kulapho okudabukisayo kakhulu kwesiphetho salaba besifazane.
Iphuzu lokuqala lokubuka isimo salokho okubizwa ngokuthi «amasiko okudlwengula». Usikisela ukuthi owesilisa uyisidalwa esingakwazi ukulawula imizwelo nemizwelo engokwemvelo, futhi owesifazane ogqoka noma oziphatha ngendlela evusa inkanuko wenza amadoda azihlasele.
Awukwazi ukwethemba ubufakazi becala likaSergei, kodwa kubalulekile futhi ukuvimbela isifiso esivelayo sokusola uDiana ngakho konke: asinalo ulwazi oluqondile mayelana nokwenzekile, kodwa ukusabalala kombono, ngokusho ukuthi isisulu “ukusolwa”, kuyingozi kakhulu futhi kuyingozi emphakathini. E-Russia, amashumi ezinkulungwane zabesifazane bayadlwengulwa minyaka yonke, abaningi babo, abazithola bekulesi simo esinzima futhi esibuhlungu, abakwazi ukuthola ukuvikelwa okudingekayo emaphoyiseni futhi banqatshelwe ukusekelwa umphakathi nabathandekayo.
Lapho abantu abaningi ezweni behlanganyela futhi besakaza umbono othi “nguye onecala”, kulapho okudabukisayo kakhulu isiphetho salaba besifazane. Ngeshwa, le ndlela ye-archaic iyasikhohlisa ngobulula bayo: mhlawumbe icala lika-Diana no-Sergey lafika ekunakekeleni ngokuqondile ngoba linikeza amathuba okuqinisekisa leli phuzu lokubuka.
Kodwa kufanele sikhumbule ukuthi ezimweni eziningi, owesifazane mancane kakhulu amathuba okuba avikele amalungelo akhe kunendoda. Emphakathini ophucuzekile, umthwalo wemfanelo wemizwa yomuntu, izifiso kanye nezenzo zithwalwa yisihloko sabo, hhayi yilowo "ongabacasulayo" (ngisho ngaphandle kokufuna). Noma ngabe yini ngempela eyenzeka phakathi kuka-Diana no-Sergey, ungavumeli ukuyengwa "kwesiko lokudlwengula".