I-Psychology

Uma abazali bezithanda izingane zabo, zikhula zibe abantu abadala abajabulayo. Kubhekwa kanjena. Kodwa uthando lulodwa alwanele. Kusho ukuthini ukuba abazali abalungile.

Ngikhumbula indlela uprofesa othile wasenyuvesi asho ngayo ukuthi izingane ezicasulwa futhi zihlazeke ngenxa yabazali bazo zisalindele uthando nokuqonda kuzo. Lolu lwazi lwaluyisambulo kimi, ngoba kuze kube manje ngineminye imibono ngothando. Ungayilimaza kanjani ingane oyithandayo? Ungalindela kanjani uthando kumuntu okucasulayo?

Sekudlule iminyaka engaphezu kuka-25, ngisebenze nezingane nabazali abavela ezizindeni ezihlukene zezomnotho nezenhlalo, futhi ulwazi lwami lubonisa ukuthi uprofesa wayeqinisile. Abantu bahlale befuna ukuthi abazali babo babathande, futhi ngokuvamile bayabathanda abantwana, kodwa babonisa uthando ngezindlela ezihlukene, futhi lolu thando alunikezi izingane ukuzethemba nempilo ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Kungani abazali belimaza izingane?

Ezimweni eziningi, zibangela ukulimala kungahlosiwe. Kungabantu abadala nje abazama ukuqhubeka nempilo. Kumelwe babhekane nomsebenzi noma ukuntuleka kwemisebenzi, ukukhokha izikweletu nokuntula imali, ubudlelwano nezinkinga zempilo engokomzimba nengqondo, nezinye izinkinga eziningi.

Lapho abantu beba abazali, bathatha umthwalo owengeziwe kanye nomunye umsebenzi wokuphila kwabo bonke, bazama ukubhekana nalo mthwalo wemfanelo nomsebenzi. Kodwa okuwukuphela kokuhlangenwe nakho abanakho yilokho abakubona beseyingane.

I-apula elivela esihlahleni se-apula

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni kunquma ukuthi sizoba abazali abanjani. Kodwa asikopishi ubuhlobo bomndeni kukho konke. Uma ingane ijeziswa ngokomzimba, lokhu akusho ukuthi izozishaya izingane zayo. Futhi ingane ekhulele emkhayeni wezidakwa ngeke nakanjani ibusebenzise kabi utshwala. Njengomthetho, singamukela imodeli yokuziphatha yabazali, noma sikhethe okuphambene ngqo.

Uthando olunobuthi

Okuhlangenwe nakho kubonisa ukuthi ukuthanda izingane zakho kulula. Lokhu kusezingeni lofuzo. Kodwa akulula ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi izingane zihlale ziluzwa lolu thando, oluzinikeza umuzwa wokulondeka emhlabeni, ukuzethemba nokuvusa uthando lwazo.

Ukubonakaliswa kothando lwabazali kuhlukile. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi balawula, babize ngamagama, balulaze futhi bashaye izingane ukuze zizuze. Izingane ezihlale zigadwa zikhula zingalondekile futhi zingakwazi ukwenza izinqumo ezizimele.

Labo abahlale befundile, bethethiswa futhi bajeziswe ngenxa yecala elincane, njengomthetho, banokuzethemba okuphansi, futhi bakhula beqiniseka ukuthi akekho ozoba nesithakazelo. Abazali abahlale bekhuluma ngothando lwabo futhi bencoma indodana noma indodakazi yabo ngokuvamile bakhulisa izingane ezingakulungele ngokuphelele ukuphila emphakathini.

Zidingani izingane?

Ngakho, uthando, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi luzibonakalisa kanjani, alwanele ngokwalo ukuba ingane ikhule ijabule futhi izethemba. Enqubweni yokukhula, kubalulekile kuye:

  • yazini ukuthi uyabonga;
  • themba abanye;
  • bakwazi ukubhekana nobunzima bempilo;
  • lawula imizwa nokuziphatha.

Akulula ukufundisa lokhu, kodwa ukufunda kwenzeka ngokwemvelo: ngesibonelo sabantu abadala. Izingane ziyasibuka futhi zifunde kithi kokubili okuhle nokubi. Uyafuna ukuthi indodana yakho iqale ukubhema? Kuzomele uwuyeke wena lo mkhuba omubi. Awuthandi indodakazi yakho ibe luhlaza? Esikhundleni sokujezisa ingane yakho, naka ukuziphatha kwakho.

shiya impendulo