Okuqukethwe
Ukwesaba okusha ezinganeni, okuveziwe kakhulu
Izingane zesaba ubumnyama, impisi, amanzi, ukushiywa zodwa… Abazali bazazi ngekhanda lezo zikhathi lapho izingane zabo ezisacathula zethuka futhi zikhala kangangokuthi bayesaba. Ngokuvamile, nabo bayakwazi ukuzola futhi baqinisekise. Eminyakeni yamuva, ukwesaba okusha kuye kwavela phakathi kwabancane kunabo bonke. Emadolobheni amakhulu kuthiwa izingane ziya zichayeka ezithombeni ezinobudlova ezizesabisayo. Ukususa ukubethela nge-Saverio Tomasella, udokotela wesayensi yabantu kanye ne-psychoanalyst, umbhali we "Ukwesaba Okuncane noma ukwesabeka okukhulu", eshicilelwe yi-Leduc.s éditions.
Kuyini ukwesaba ezinganeni?
"Esinye sezehlakalo ezibaluleke kakhulu ingane eneminyaka emi-3 eyobhekana nayo yilapho ibuyela esikoleni sabantwana," kuchaza uSaverio Tomasella kuqala. Ingane isuka ezweni elivikelwe (inkulisa, umzanyana, umama, ugogo…) iye ezweni eligcwele izingane eziningi ezisacathula, elibuswa imithetho eqinile nezithiyo. Ngamafuphi, ungena esiphithiphithini sempilo yeqembu. Kwesinye isikhathi isipiliyoni “njengehlathi” langempela, isikole siyindawo yokuqala yazo zonke izinto ezitholakele. Ezinye izingane zizothatha isikhathi esiningi noma esincane ukuzivumelanisa nale ndawo entsha. Ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nezimo ezithile zizomethusa ngempela umfana omncane othatha izinyathelo zakhe zokuqala enkulisa. “Kungcono ukuthi abantu abadala baqaphe kakhulu ngalesi sikhathi esibalulekile sokuqala kwesikole. Ngempela, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sigcizelela iqiniso lokuthi siphoqelela izingane ezisacathula ukuba zizinakekele, zikwazi ukuzimela, zilalele abantu abadala abambalwa, zilandele imithetho yokuziphatha okuhle, njll. “Yonke le mihlahlandlela ayenzi umqondo omkhulu. enganeni encane. Uvame ukwesaba ukwenza kabi, ukucasulwa, ukungalibambi ijubane,” kusho uchwepheshe. Uma ingane ikwazi ukugcina ingubo yayo kuye, iyamduduza. "Kuyindlela yokuthi umntwana aziqinisekise, okuhlanganisa nokumunca isithupha sakhe, le ndlela yokuxhumana nomzimba wayo iyisisekelo", kucacisa i-psychoanalyst.
Ukwesaba okusha okwesabisa izingane
Dr Saverio Tomasella explains that he receives more and more children in consultation who evoke fears linked to new modes of communication in large cities (stations, metro corridors, etc.). “The child is confronted with certain violent images on a daily basis”, denounces the specialist. Indeed, screens or posters stage an advertisement in the form of a video, for example the trailer of a horror film or one comprising scenes of a sexual nature, or of a video game, sometimes violent and above all which is meant to be adults only. “The child is thus confronted with images which do not concern him. Advertisers primarily target adults. But as they are broadcast in a public place, children see them anyway, ”explains the specialist. It would be interesting to understand how it is possible to have a double talk to parents. They are asked to protect their children with parental control software on the home computer, to ensure that they respect the signage of films on television, and in public spaces, “hidden” and not intended images. toddlers are displayed without censorship on city walls. Saverio Tomasella agrees with this analysis. “The child says it clearly: he is really afraid of his images. They are scary for him, ”confirms the specialist. Moreover, the child receives these images without filters. The parent or accompanying adult should discuss this with them. Other fears concern the tragic events in Paris and Nice in recent months. Faced with the horror of the attacks, many families were hit hard. “After the terrorist attacks, televisions broadcast a lot of highly violent images. In some families, the evening television news can take up a fairly large place at mealtimes, in a deliberate desire to “keep informed”. Children living in such families have more nightmares, have less restful sleep, pay less attention in class and sometimes even develop fears about the realities of everyday life. “Each child needs to grow up in an environment that reassures and reassures them,” explains Saverio Tomasella. “Faced with the horror of the attacks, if the child is young, it is better to say as little as possible. Do not give details to the little ones, talk to them simply, do not use vocabulary or violent words, and do not use the word “fear”, for example ”, also recalls the psychoanalyst.
Isimo sengqondo sabazali savumelana nokwesaba ingane
U-Saverio Tomasella uhlukile: “Ingane iphila kuleso simo ngaphandle kwebanga. Isibonelo, amaphosta noma izikrini zisezindaweni zomphakathi, okwabelwana ngazo yiwo wonke umuntu, abantu abadala kanye nezingane, kude ne-cocoon yomndeni eqinisekisayo. Ngikhumbula umfana oneminyaka engu-7 ubudala owangitshela ukuthi wayesaba kangakanani kumasipala wesitimela lapho ebona iphosta yegumbi licwiliswe ebumnyameni ”, kufakaza lo chwepheshe. Abazali bavame ukuzibuza ukuthi kufanele basabele kanjani. “Uma ingane isibonile isithombe kuyaphoqa ukuthi kukhulunywe ngaso. Okokuqala, umuntu omdala uvumela ingane ukuba iziveze, futhi ivula inkhulumomphendvulwano kuze kube seqophelweni eliphezulu. Mbuze ukuthi uzizwa kanjani uma ebona lolu hlobo lwesithombe, lumenzani. Mtshele futhi uqinisekise ukuthi ngempela, enganeni yentanga yakhe, kungokwemvelo ukwesaba, ukuthi iyavumelana nalokho ekuzwayo. Abazali bangase bengeze ngokuthi kuyacasula ngempela ukuvezwa lezi zinhlobo zezithombe,” kuchaza yena. "Yebo, kuyethusa, uqinisile": i-psychoanalyst icabanga ukuthi umuntu akufanele angabaze ukuyichaza kanjalo. Esinye iseluleko, ungagxili esihlokweni, lapho izinto ezibalulekile sezishiwo, umuntu omdala angaqhubeka, ngaphandle kokunikeza ukubaluleka okukhulu emcimbini, ukuze angalingisi isimo. "Kulokhu, umuntu omdala angathola isimo sengqondo esinomusa, ukulalela ngokucophelela lokho ingane ekuzwayo, kulokho akucabangayo ngakho", kuphetha i-psychoanalyst.