Okuqukethwe
Umehluko phakathi kokuba nozwela nokuzwela
Psychology
Usomabhizinisi kanye nomqeqeshi wezokudla okunomsoco uMeritxell Garcia Roig udala inkomba ethi "Ubuciko bokuzwelana" kubo bonke labo bantu abakwazi ukuzwa imizwa yabanye.
Namuhla uvuke ujabulile, uzizwa kahle. Bese ufika emsebenzini bese kukhona into engena ngaphakathi kuwe, usizi ongeke uluchaze. Usuku lwakho luqala ukungahambi kahle futhi awuqondi ukuthi kungani. Kuwukuthi, lapho umlingani wakho ekutshela into edabukisa kakhulu, futhi ubona ukuthi uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela, lapho uqonda isizathu sokuzisola kwakho. Kwake kwenzeka yini kuwe lokho? Uma kunjalo, kungenxa yokuthi ungomunye umuntu onozwela, noma kunalokho, ungezwa uzwela ngaphakathi.
Yilokhu uMeritxell Garcia Roig, umbhali wencwadi ethi “The Art of Empathy,” akubiza ngokuthi “amandla okuzwela,” into ephathwa ngabantu abanozwela nabazwela kakhulu. “Sonke sinabo isibuko se-neurons, okusisiza ukuba sizwelane nabanye. Abantu abazwela kakhulu, banama-neurons esibuko athuthuke kakhulu, ngakho-ke baphila uzwela hhayi nje ngombono wombono, kodwa futhi kusukela ekubukeni ngokomzimba lapho bekwazi khona ukuphila lokho omunye azizwayo ", kuchaza uGarcia. Roig.
“Akukhona nje ukukhuluma nomuntu, wazi isimo sakhe futhi uyazwelana naso. Kuwukuzizwa emzimbeni wakho siqu, ukuba sesimweni lowo muntu aphila kuso, ezingeni lemizwa yomzimba, ngemizwa, “uyaqhubeka.
Umbhali ugqamisa uhlangothi oluhle lokuba ngumuntu onozwela: «Ukuxhumana nabanye kuleli zinga elijulile kuhle, ekugcineni kukugcwalisa, uzizwe eduze nabanye abantu, uyakwazi ukuzibeka esimweni sabo ».
Kodwa-ke, uMeritxell Garcia uphinde akhulume ngobunzima bokuba nale "khwalithi", ngoba uma umuntu enesikhathi esibi, futhi "kuthatha ngokweqile, kungabangela izinkinga", nakuba echaza ukuthi "incwadi izama ukuguqula kuze kufike kulokhu, aukusiza ukusebenzisa leli khono".
"Kufana nanoma yisiphi isici sobuntu, esithathwe emkhawulweni, singaba kuhle kakhulu noma sibe sibi kakhulu", kusho umlobi futhi uyaqhubeka: "Abantu abanozwela banesikhumba, okusho ukuthi, sinezimbobo kakhulu. Konke okusizungezile kuyasihlabaIngena ngaphakathi ngaphakathi futhi kunzima ngathi ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwemizwelo yethu kanye neyabanye, ngoba siphila njengokungathi ingeyethu futhi kungase kubonakale njengokungalingani ngokomzwelo ».
Kungenxa yalesi simo esingavamile umbhali asichazayo esigqamisa ukubaluleka kokuzazi kubantu abanozwela, ngenhloso yokuthi «qaphela okwenzeka kithi kanye nesizathu sokuthi kungani kwenzeka kithi ”, sazi ukuthi singahlukanisa kanjani ukuthi imizwa“ ingeyethu noma ingowomunye umuntu ”futhi, lapho sekubonakele, sifunda “ukuphatha ngendlela ezolile nekhululekile”.
Usomabhizinisi uyakuqinisekisa ukubaluleka kwalokhu, ekhuluma ngobungozi besidingo sokujabulisa laba bantu abanozwelo. "Ungajabulisa izidingo zabanye, kepha kunezikhathi lapho ngaleso sikhathi ukhohlwa okudingayoNgoba uzama ukwenza omunye umuntu azizwe ejabule, futhi mhlawumbe ukwenza ngezindleko zokuzizwa kabi, ”kusho yena.
Gwema “ama-vampire angokomzwelo”
Iqokomisa ukubaluleka kokuqaphela lokho okusihambela kahle nalokho okungahambi kahle, kuzo zonke izici zokuphila kwethu: esikudlayo, indlela esigqoka ngayo kanye nanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo esinabo. Igcizelela ubudlelwano, indiza ebalulekile empilweni yethu futhi ithinta yonke imikhakha ebalulekile: «Lapho ubudlelwano bungahambi kahle, lapho uvela, noma lowo muntu, futhi nilimazana kuphela, futhi lokho akusho ukuthi awumazisi umuntu, kodwa mhlawumbe udinga obunye ubudlelwano futhi lokhu kumele kukwazi ukukhuluma ngokwemvelo »
Ube esekhuluma ngalokho akubiza ngokuthi “ama-vampires angokomzwelo” kanye “nama-narcissists”, “ubuntu abafuna ukunakwa abanye abantu, ngoba ukuntula ukuzaziAbazi ukuthi bangazinika kanjani ukwesekwa abakudingayo. Ukuze ugweme ukulimala okungadalwa yilolu hlobo lwabantu “ekuhawukeleni,” u-Meritxell uncoma ukuthi siqale sihlonze laba bantu ezimpilweni zethu. “Ngenxa yokuthi sibona umuntu nsuku zonke, akusho ukuthi kufanele sibe nobuhlobo obujulile,” usho kanje. Unezela ukuthi uma sizithola sizungezwe abantu abanjengalaba, kungasetshenziswa izindlela ezihlukahlukene, njengokuthi “ukuphendula ngamagama ahlukene kanye nokuxhumana kancane ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze ungakhathali” noma “ukusebenzelana nalowo muntu nabanye abamzungezile, ukusabalalisa umthwalo ongokomzwelo.”
Umbhali uphetha ngokukhuluma ngokuthi i uzwela yinto esifundiswa ukuba nayo kwabanye, kodwa hhayi ngokwethu. “Njengoba uxhumene kakhulu nengaphandle udinga ukuzivocavoca nawe ukuze uqonde ukuthi yini ngempela oyidingayo”, esho futhi ephetha: “Ungumngane omkhulu emhlabeni futhi uyisitha sakho esibi kakhulu.”