Umbhangqwana obhekene nokusiza ekuzaleni

Kungani kunzima kangaka ngombhangqwana ukuya esifundweni se-MAP?

UMathilde Bouychou: « Ukwehluleka ukwenza okuthile okungokwemvelo - ukwenza uthando lokuba nengane - kubangela isilonda esijulile se-narcissistic. Lobu buhlungu abuvunyelwa ngempela imibhangqwana. Kuvele kube buhlungu kakhulu uma ingekho imbangela yezempilo echaza ukuxilongwa kwe-infertility.

Ngokuphambene nalokho, izizathu zezokwelapha zinamandla okwehlisa unecala ngokunikeza incazelo esimweni.

Ekugcineni, ukulinda phakathi kwezivivinyo, phakathi kwemizamo, nakho kuyisici esiyinkimbinkimbi ngoba kushiya indawo yokucabanga ... Ngokushesha nje lapho izithandani zisasebenza, kuba lula, ngisho noma ukukhathazeka, ukwesaba ukwehluleka kuhlala kugcwele.

Kukhona nezimo zokungaqondi eziqeda amandla umbhangqwana ngokujulile. Ngokwesibonelo, umngane womshado ongahambi nomngane wakhe womshado ezivivinyweni, ongalandeli ngempela okwenzekayo. Indoda ayiphili I-WFP emzimbeni wakhe, futhi owesifazane angase agcine emsola ngalokhu kungabi khona. Ingane inezimbili. “

Ubudlelwane bomzimba kanye nokusondelana nakho kuyacasula ...

MB : “Yebo, usizo lokuzala luyancipha nasemzimbeni. Iyakhathala, inikeze imiphumela engemihle, yenza kube nzima ukuhlelwa kwempilo yobungcweti kanye nempilo yansuku zonke, ikakhulukazi kowesifazane othola zonke izindlela zokwelapha, noma ngabe ukuzala kunenkinga. imbangela yesilisa. Ukwelapha Kwemvelo (i-acupuncture, i-sophrology, i-hypnosis, i-homeopathy…) ingaletha inhlalakahle eningi kwabesifazane abakulesi simo.

Ngokuqondene nobudlelwano obuseduze, buphawulwa ngekhalenda elinembile, kuba izikhathi zengcindezi nesibopho. Ukuqhekeka kungenzeka, okwenza isimo sibe nzima nakakhulu. Indaba yokushaya indlwabu, ngezinye izikhathi edingekayo, nayo yenza eminye imibhangqwana ingakhululeki. “

Uyayeluleka yini imibhangqwana ukuthi ithulule isifuba kubahambeli bayo?

MB : “Ukukhuluma ngobunzima bakho bokuba nengane kukhulunywa ngabo ubulili. Abanye abashadile bazophumelela ngezihlobo, abanye kancane kakhulu. Kunoma ikuphi, ithambile ngoba inkulumo yeqembu ngezinye izikhathi ayizwakali. Abangane abayazi yonke imininingwane yokuxilongwa, bonke ubunkimbinkimbi benqubo, futhi abazi ukuthi bungakanani ubuhlungu abashadikazi ababhekene nabo. “Yeka ukucabanga ngayo, izozizela yona, yonke into isekhanda!”… Nakuba kungenakwenzeka njengoba i-PMA ihlasela ukuphila kwansuku zonke. Ingasaphathwa izimemezelo ze ukukhulelwa kanye nokuzalwa okunethayo kulo mbhangqwana futhi kuqinise umuzwa wokungabi nabulungisa: "Kungani abanye bengakwenza hhayi thina?" “

Ubani ohambweni lokusizwa lokuzala ongasiza umbhangqwana ukuba unqobe ubunzima?

MB : “Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usesibhedlela noma ngokubonisana kwangasese, ukusekelwa a isazi sezengqondo noma udokotela wengqondo akanikezwa ngokuzenzakalelayo. Kodwa-ke, kuvumela imibhangqwana ukuthi ibe nomuntu oyinkomba ozomtshela ngohambo lwabo, amathemba abo, ukungabaza kwabo, ukwehluleka kwabo. I-PMA idala i-" designokuyingxenye “. Abashadile badinga ukwesekwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Bagibele ikheshi elingokomzwelo langempela. Futhi kufanele bazibuze imibuzo eminye imibhangqwana engayibheki ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa. Bayaziveza, bazibeke isikhathi eside. Ngokwesibonelo, yini okufanele uyenze uma 4th umzamo IVF (owokugcina obuyiselwe nguSocial Security eFrance) uyahluleka, ungalakha kanjani ikusasa lakho ngaphandle kokuba nezingane? Ngincoma kakhulu ukubonisana nochwepheshe ojwayele izinkinga zokungazali. Amaseshini ambalwa angase anele. “

Ingabe usizo lokuzala luholela eminye imibhangqwana ukuba ihlukane?

MB : “Ngeshwa lokhu kuyenzeka. Konke kuncike ekuqineni kwezisekelo zombhangqwana ekuqaleni. Kodwa futhi indawo uhlelo lokuzalwa phakathi kwabashadile. Ingabe iphrojekthi yabantu ababili, noma iphrojekthi yomuntu ngamunye? Kodwa abanye bayasinqoba isithiyo, bayakwazi ukubhekana nezinto ezibuhlungu, ukuze bazisungulele kabusha. Okuqinisekile ukuthi akufinyelelwa "ngokubeka konke ukuhlupheka ngaphansi kwekhaphethi".

Futhi ngokuphambene nalokho umuntu angase akucabange, izingozi zokuhlukana nazo zikhona ngemva ukuzalwa wengane. Kuvela obunye ubunzima (okumele babunqobe bonke abazali), isilonda se-narcissistic siyaqhubeka, eminye imibhangqwana iba buthaka ekuziphatheni kwabo. impilo yocansi. Ingane ayilungisi yonke into. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokugwema ingozi yokungaqondi kahle esikhathini eside: khuluma nomunye nomunye, hamba ngezigaba ndawonye, ​​​​ungahlali wedwa ebuhlungu. “