Okuqukethwe
Ngamunye wethu unemicabango eyimfihlo engavezwanga futhi efihliwe ngokucophelela: umona ngomngane wethu omkhulu, ukuthukuthelela abazali bethu, isifiso sokushaya isihambi esihamba naye emotweni enyinyekile engaphansi komhlaba. Kwesinye isikhathi siyazifihla ngisho kithina. Senza sengathi abekho. Kodwa basashiya uphawu lwabo.
Kubonakala sengathi ungacabanga ngento eyihlazo noma uyenze ngasese, kuze kube yilapho kungekho muntu ozwayo noma obona okuthile ongafuni ukukuvuma, futhi le nto encane ngeke ithinte ukuphila ngokujwayelekile. Kodwa imicabango enjalo ibonakala ngezenzo, izenzo, ubudlelwano.
Ingane ivala amehlo ngezandla ithi: «Angikho lapha». Empeleni ukholwa ukuthi akasekho kulendawo angayiboni. Kodwa ukuqiniseka kwakhe akuwuthinti umbono wabanye abambona ngokuphelele.
Kuyafana nangemicabango: nakuba ingabonakali, abantu abaningi bafunda indlela esibaphatha ngayo kanye nendlela esizibona ngayo.
Yonke imfihlo iba sobala
Akudingekile nakancane ukwakha imicabango ibe ngamazwi ukuze ibonakale kwabanye. Konke lokhu kusakazwa emhlabeni wonke ngokungaqondile: ukuma, ukuthinta komzimba, isimo sobuso, ukubuka, nangokukhuluma: silulumagama, iphimbo, i-timbre ngisho nokuma phakathi kwamagama. "Yonke into ijikeleza kulo mkhathi, ibuyela kithi, yethula imibuthano emanzini."
Noma yimuphi umcabango, noma yikuphi ukungabaza, isenzo esiyimfihlo, isinqumo noma umuzwa - konke lokhu kushiya imibuthano emanzini okuqulekile, ahlukana kakhulu, athinte kuqala labo abaseduze, bese kuba labo abakude kancane. Lapho becabanga isikhathi eside ngakwesokunene, indawo abazoyithinta iyoba banzi.
Yonke imicabango, imizwa, ngisho nangokwengeziwe isenzo, ngisho nesiyimfihlo, ishiya iminonjana ebonakalayo ku-psyche, ezibonakalisa emhlabeni wangaphandle futhi yembulwa ekusebenzelaneni nabanye kanye nesimo sabo sengqondo ngawe.
Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Iqiniso liwukuthi abantu banenkohliso yokuthi konke ababekwenza noma ababekucabanga ngasese kuhlala kungekho fakazi, ngakho-ke, kuba sengathi lokhu akwenzekanga. Ukuthi akekho owabona inja ecasukile, yonakalise incwadi yomunye umuntu. Akekho owawezwa la mazwi ejikijelwa ngokunengwa edlula, engayiboni imicabango yomona.
Kodwa kukhona njalo ufakazi. Kuhlale kukhona owabona, wezwa, wazi. Futhi lowo muntu nguwe. Owenza izinto anamahloni ngazo uyayazi into ayenzayo. Lowo imicabango yakhe egcwele ububi nokucasuka uyazi njalo ukuthi yini ayicabangayo, ayifisayo ngasese futhi ayilangazelelayo. Futhi kwakheka umqondo ongazi womuntu ngaye ngokwakhe, kucatshangelwa konke lokhu okungabonakali, okufihliwe.
Amamaski ngeke asize
Wonke umuntu uyazi ngaye lapho engathembeki ngokuphelele noma engenasibindi ngokwanele, lapho ayeyigwala, lapho ayengumuntu omncane futhi enomona. Futhi labo abasizungezile bafunda isithombe sethu siqu njengoba sinjalo, ngaphandle kokucwaninga, futhi kubacacela, nakuba bengazi, ukuthi ubani oseduze kwabo.
Yingakho sihlukanisa abantu sibe yilabo esifuna ukuba nabo, sixhumane, sibe abangani, sifunde, sihleke, nalabo esingafuni ukuthintana nabo ngamehlo ethu noma ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, abangela ukwesaba nesifiso dlula. Sihlukanisa abantu sibe yilabo abafuna ukwethemba abasondelene kakhulu, nalabo abangethenjwa ngisho nangento encane.
Kulabo esibazwelayo, nalabo ababangela ukunengeka. Yebo, ungaba umlingisi oseqophelweni eliphezulu futhi ugqoke imaski ngobuchule, kodwa ungazithobi. Akunakwenzeka ukujwayela ngokugcwele indima, ngandlela thile noma enye, kodwa umzimba uzokhipha konke lokho kusabela nemicabango efihlwe ngaphansi kwemaski. Kunokhahlo oluncane nje, kodwa lusaphawuleka ngokwanele ukuthi ukuquleka kwalabo abaseduze kwakho bakulinganise futhi bakulebule ngokufanele.
I-Psychopaths inesithombe esihle sokuzibona noma ngabe mubi kangakanani.
Ngokuqinisekile niyabazi labo abamangalayo: kungani abantu bengiphatha kabi kangaka? Kungani bengangethembi, ngoba ngiyisakhamuzi esihloniphekile nesihloniphekile? Kungani bengathandi, ngoba ngimuhle, ngifanelekile, ngigqoke kahle futhi ngihlakaniphile? Kungani bengaqashi, ngoba nginephothifoliyo epholile kangaka?
Imicabango eyimfihlo, izono aziyo kuphela, ukukhashelwa yena noma abanye, konke lokhu kushiya umbono womuntu ngaye ngokwakhe - futhi, ngenxa yalokho, esimweni sengqondo salabo abaseduze kwakhe. Vele, ungaba i-narcissistic psychopath futhi uyeke ukuzizwa unamahloni futhi unecala nganoma yisiphi isenzo sakho. Ihlaya leli, kodwa likhona iqiniso.
Isithombe sangaphakathi somunye nomunye wethu akhiwe hhayi ngemicabango nezenzo ngokwabo, kodwa ngesimo sethu sengqondo kubo, ukuhlola kwethu. Uma uhlelo lwangaphakathi lwenani likuvumela ukuthi ukhahlele inja elahlekile futhi lokhu akubhekwa njengesenzo esibi, khona-ke ukuzibona kwakho kanye nesithombe sangaphakathi ngeke kuhlupheke, kuzohlala kukhangayo. Ngakho-ke, kwabanye, izosakazwa futhi njengekhangayo.
Kuyinto edabukisayo, kodwa kuyiqiniso: abangenamahloni, abangenanhliziyo, abangaziwa ekuziphatheni kwabantu okujwayelekile, ama-psychopaths akhanga kakhulu ngenxa yalesi sizathu. Isithombe sabo sangaphakathi sabo silungile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiziphi izenzo ezinyantisayo abazenzayo.
Ungasishintsha kanjani isithombe sakho sangaphakathi
Kodwa ukukhanya kuhlala kubunqoba ubumnyama. Kukhona indlela yokubuyisa isithombe sangaphakathi esikhangayo sakho, noma ngabe sesonakele. Okokuqala, udinga ukwamukela isithunzi sakho. Kubaluleke kakhulu. Kuyadingeka. Udinga ukwamukela isithunzi sakho ukuze ungaminyanisi umuzwa wehlazo ukuthi ungubani ngempela.
Ukuze lobo buhlungu obungabekezeleleki bungakuvimbi ukuthi ubhekane neqiniso futhi ubone iphuzu lapho ukhona njengamanje. Futhi njengoba ususibonile isiqalo, kulula ukwakha uhlelo lokuxazulula inkinga. Uchungechunge olude lwezimbangela nemiphumela kusiletha kuleli qophelo lapho ngamunye wethu ekhona njengamanje, futhi kungenxa yalesi sikhundla lapho kudingeka sifunde ukuthatha izinyathelo eziya ekuphumeni — ukwenza izenzo ezintsha, ukucabanga imicabango emisha, ukuzwa okusha. imizwa, yenza izinqumo ezintsha. Suka emaphethini ajwayelekile.
Kudingeka umzamo othile wentando ukuze kwakhiwe kabusha futhi uphume iphethini evamile.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isenzo esiphelele singaba sibi kangakanani, ukuzishaya indiva akukwazi ukukulungisa. Kodwa ungashintsha ikusasa lakho ngokusebenzisa amaphethini amasha okuziphatha: dlula yonke into endala ngemicabango emisha, emihle, efanelekayo, nezenzo ezinhle.
Ngefomu ngalinye elisha elingena ekuqulekeni, kuvela imikhondo emisha futhi kwethulwe imibuthano emisha ehambisa isithombe sakho esisha kulabo abaseduze nawe: enhle, efanelekile, eqinile. Akunasici, akunjalo, azikho ezifanelekile, kodwa lesi sithombe esisha sihle kakhulu, sifanelekile futhi sinamandla kunedlule.
Kodwa lokhu kudinga umzamo othile wokuthanda ukwakha kabusha futhi uphume iphethini evamile. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi amandla e-inertia makhulu futhi isilingo sokubuyela emuva kumzila omdala sikhulu. Uma kungekho umzamo wokuzimela owanele, udinga ukucela usizo oluvela ezihlotsheni noma ochwepheshe - futhi uqhubeke ushintsha imicabango, amagama, izenzo ukuze usondelane nesithombe esisha sakho.