Umuzwa we-racket umuzwa obambele, uthatha indawo yomuzwa wangempela, oyiqiniso, imizwa, noma isidingo.
Umuzwa wokuncintisana uchazwa njengomuzwa ogxilile futhi okhuthazwa ebuntwaneni, ohlangabezana nezimo ezihlukahlukene ezicindezelayo futhi ongahambisani nokuxazulula izinkinga zabantu abadala.
Ngokwesibonelo, owesifazane, eseyintombazane, wafunda emndenini wakubo ukubhekana nentukuthelo ngokugula. Njengoba esengumuntu omdala futhi enezinsiza zabantu abadala, usasebenzisa amandla entukuthelo ukuze ayicindezele, ayiquke, ashintshele kweminye imizwa - ukudabuka, ukucasuka, umona, usizi noma ubuhlungu bomzimba. Isibonelo, wagula, wathola ukunakekelwa kubantu abaseduze, waphinde waqiniswa ngemivimbo ukunemba kwendlela ekhethiwe yokuphendula. Kodwa akuzange kuyixazulule inkinga yentukuthelo. Umthombo usamile, futhi uzophinde uvuse intukuthelo.
Isikhathi ngasinye, kudinga amandla engeziwe namandla ukuze kunqandwe intukuthelo. I-Psychosomatic disease iwukuxilongwa okuyonikezwa owesifazane futhi umzimba ulashwe. Alikho ihlazo ngokugula. Kuyihlazo ukuvuma ukungakwazi komuntu, ukwehluleka noma ukunqotshwa kunoma iyiphi indawo yempilo. Isithombe sikadokotela sijwayelekile futhi siyakhuthazwa emphakathini. Isithombe sesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, i-psychotherapist asivamile. Izifo zengqondo zidinga ukwelashwa, kodwa udokotela uzophatha umzimba kuphela. Uma “umphefumulo” ungelashwa, khona-ke kuvela indida. Ukwelapha umzimba ngaphandle kokwelapha umphefumulo kuqinisa uhlelo lwe-racket futhi kwenza lesi sifo "singelapheki". Isiguli sithola imivimbo evela kudokotela ngendlela yokunaka lesi sifo, ukunakekelwa, imithi, izinqubo, izincomo zokuhlala embhedeni. Ngezinye izikhathi udokotela uba ukuphela komuntu onesithakazelo esigulini. Udokotela angase akhulise lolu phawu iminyaka eminingi, angene ebuhlotsheni bomzali nengane futhi ajezise isiguli ngokuzama ukuveza imizwa eyiqiniso. Isibonelo, injabulo yokuzizwa ungcono noma intukuthelo ngenxa yobuze bokwelashwa. “Ngeke ngikuthande uma uba ngcono,” umyalezo ofihliwe kadokotela. Isu elingokwengqondo lihlukile. Umsebenzi we-psychotherapeutic ubuntu obuvuthiwe beklayenti, okwazi ukubhekana ngokuzimela nezinkinga ezivelayo. Umuntu onesimo sokuzicabangela sabadala esivelele ozikhethela ukuba nempilo noma ukugula.
I-Racketeering iwukudlala amasu okuziphatha aphelelwe yisikhathi, avame ukutholwa ebuntwaneni futhi asizwa ngalezo zikhathi ezikude. Kodwa okwamanje, awasewona amasu aphumelelayo.
Ebuntwaneni, ingane, ebonisa imizwa ye-racket, ithole i-stroke elindelwe isikhathi eside evela ezibalo zabazali. "Lapha futhi manje", ezungezwe umuntu omdala, kuyohlale kukhona umuntu ozonikeza lezi ziqephu, ngoba thina ngokwethu sikhetha indawo yethu. Isikhathi ngasinye esimweni esicindezelayo, lezi zindlela zobuntwana zizophindaphindiwe ngokungazi. Nokho, imizwa nezidingo zangempela ziyohlala zinganeliseki. Njengoba beqhutshwa ngaphakathi, bazozibonakalisa ngendlela yokusabela kwengqondo, ama-phobias, ukuhlaselwa kokwesaba.
Izingane zifunda ukuzwa imizwa ye-racket njengendlela yokwanelisa izidingo zomndeni wabo, njengendlela yokuthola imivimbo. Abafana bafundiswa ukucindezela ukwesaba, ukudabuka, ubuhlungu, kodwa ungathukuthela, ubonise ulaka. “Ungakhali, uyindoda. Isosha lami elincane! Ngakho endodeni baba nentukuthelo yokucasuka, ulaka oluthatha indawo yokwesaba nobuhlungu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amantombazane afundiswa ukushintsha ukucasuka esikhundleni sokukhala noma ukudabuka, ngisho noma efuna ukuziphindiselela. "Uyintombazane, ungalwa kanjani!"
Isiko, inkolo, i-ideology yomphakathi nayo isebenzisa uhlelo lwe-racket. Okumangazayo ukuthi izizathu zemizwa yokukhohlisa zinhle, zilungile, futhi zilungile.
Nasi isibonelo esivela kulungu leqembu lethu lokwelapha. U-Elena, oneminyaka engama-38 ubudala, udokotela. “Ngangineminyaka eyishumi ubudala. Ubaba wabe esesebenza ekuhlanganiseni. Wangiyisa ensimini. Kwakuyikwindla. Savuka ekuseni kakhulu, kungakaphumi. Sebesondele ensimini, kwasa. Amasimu amakhulu kakolweni osagolide, njengokungathi ayaphila, anyakaza umoya omncane futhi abenyezela. Kimina kwakubonakala sengathi bayaphila futhi bekhuluma nami. Injabulo, injabulo. Umqondo ojulile wobunye nomhlaba, imvelo. Kungazelelwe, ukwesaba - akulungile ukujabula kanjalo, ngoba nxazonke abantu bamatasa ngomsebenzi onzima, bevuna imini nobusuku. Ngiyazijabulisa?! Icala, ukudabuka kwathatha indawo yenjabulo. Ngangingafuni ukuhlala ensimini.” Lesi isibonelo esicacile sokushintsha injabulo yangempela ngokwesaba i-racket, umuzwa wecala. Futhi umqondo ugcwele intukuthelo elungileyo: "Niyajabula, kodwa abantu bayahlupheka." Kungani singakwazi ukusebenza ngenjabulo?
Izinkolelo-ze zezwe zokushintsha imizwa eyiqiniso ngemizwa ye-racket ilandelelwa kahle ezinganekwaneni nasemibhalweni yezinganekwane. U-Ivanushki, u-Emelya ngokuvamile esikhundleni sokwesaba ngokuziphatha okungenangqondo. "UVanka uyagoqwa." Izaga nezisho eziningi zikhombisa indlela yokufaka esikhundleni noma ziyisixwayiso sokuvezwa kwemizwa nemizwa eyiqiniso. Ngokwesibonelo: “Ekuqaleni inyoni encane yacula—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ikati lalidla kanjani”, “Ukuhleka ngaphandle kwesizathu kuwuphawu lwesiwula”, “Uhleka kakhulu—uyokhala kabuhlungu.”
Kubalulekile ukuthi umsebenzi wokwelapha uhlukanise phakathi kwemizwa ye-racket kanye nemizwa yangempela, yeqiniso elele ngaphansi kwayo. Ekuhlaziyeni okwenziwayo, kuyamukelwa ukuthi kunemizwa emine kuphela eyiqiniso njengemizwa eyinhloko: intukuthelo, ukudabuka, ukwesaba, injabulo. Lolu wuphawu lokuqala lomehluko.
Imizwa ye-Racket ayipheli, njengokuphoxeka, umona, ukucindezeleka, umuzwa wecala, ukucasuka, imizwa yokudideka, ukukhungatheka, ukungabi nakuzisiza, ukuphelelwa ithemba, ukungaqondi, njll.
Umbuzo ungase uphakame, mayelana nokuthi yiziphi imizwa ye-racket ngezinye izikhathi enegama elifanayo neleqiniso? Ukudabuka, ukwesaba, injabulo, intukuthelo kungaba yinkohliso. Isibonelo, isu elivamile lokukhohlisa labesifazane. Ukuthukuthela akukwazi ukuvezwa obala, ngoba owesifazane kufanele abe nesisa, abe buthakathaka futhi angakwazi ukuzivikela. Kodwa ungakhala, udabuke ngokuthi awuqondi. Thukuthela, thula. Owesifazane washintsha intukuthelo yangempela ngomzwelo wokudabuka, kodwa kakade i-racket. Ukwenza lula umsebenzi wokuqaphela imizwa ye-racket, kukhona uphawu lwesibili lomehluko.
Imizwa eyiqiniso iholela esixazululweni senkinga «lapha namanje», isixazululo kanye nokuqedwa kwesimo. Imizwa ye-Racket - unganikezi ukuqedwa.
Isici sesithathu sihlongozwe nguJohn Thompson. Wachaza ukuxhumana kwemizwa eyiqiniso nesixazululo sezinkinga ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Intukuthelo yangempela isiza ukuxazulula inkinga okwamanje. Ukwesaba kuseza. Ukudabuka — kusiza ukuvalelisa esikhathini esedlule, ukuqeda isimo bese uvalelisa kuye. Injabulo yangempela — ayinayo imingcele yesikhathi nezimpawu «Alukho ushintsho oludingekayo!»
Cabangela isibonelo. UViktor, udokotela oneminyaka engu-45 ubudala, wayegibele inqola yesitimela. Lapho ngiphumela evestibule, ngezwa iphunga elishisayo nentuthu. Umuzwa wangempela wokwesaba wawucindezelwa ukuzola. "Ngiyindoda engizothi, njengowesifazane, ngingene obishini." Wahlala ehlobile walinda lapho omunye enyakazisa isitobha. UVictor wasiza ekukhipheni izimpahla zabanye abagibeli emotweni eshunqa intuthu. Kuthe uma kuqubuka umlilo nemoto iqala ukusha wazilungisa waba ngowokugcina wayishiya. Wabamba noma yini efika esandleni ephuma emotweni evuthayo. Washisa ubuso nezandla, izibazi zasala. Kulolo hambo, uVictor wayephethe impahla ebalulekile eyashiswa yaphela.
Ngakho-ke, ukwesaba okwakuyiqiniso kuVictor ekuqaleni komlilo kwakuzomsiza ukuba axazulule izinkinga «esikhathini esizayo» - impahla yakhe yayizohlala ingalimali, ingashi, ubuso nezandla zakhe ngeke zishiswe. UVictor wakhetha ukususa ukwesaba esikhundleni sokunganaki nokuzola. Ngemva komlilo, kwadingeka ayeke umsebenzi aye kwelinye idolobha. Ukufa kwempahla akaxolelwanga. Inkosikazi yayingafuni ukuthuthela kwelinye idolobha, bahlukana.
Umhlaziyi wesimanje wokuthengiselana owaziwayo u-Fanita IsiNgisi (“I-Racket and Real Feelings”, TA, 1971. No. 4) uhlaziye ngokuningiliziwe izigaba zokuvela kwe-racketeering. Ngokombono wakhe, kunezici ezintathu zombono wemizwa kumuntu ovuthiwe: ukuqwashisa, ukukhuluma kanye nesenzo.
Ukuqaphela ulwazi ngawe, lwangaphandle nangaphakathi. Esebenzisa izinzwa ezinhlanu, umuntu uthola ulwazi emizweni yomzimba wakhe. Uhlunga okuhlangenwe nakho futhi afike ekuqapheleni ngokuzethemba okwenzeka kuye, umhlaba kanye nomzimba okwamanje. Ngokwesibonelo, umuntu ubona, ezwa futhi eqaphela ukuthi manje uzwa ubuhlungu obubukhali kuzwane oluncane lonyawo lwakhe lwesobunxele, olwanyathelwa inja yakhe ayithandayo.
Ukuveza imizwa kuwukubonakaliswa kwabo ngosizo lomzimba noma amagama. “Suka, nja eyisiphukuphuku,” kusho le ndoda, bese ikhipha umlenze wayo ngaphansi kwezidladla zesilwane. Izenzo zivame ukuqondiswa kothile noma okuthile, njengenja. Ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo, senza ukukhetha phakathi kwesenzo esisebenzayo nokungenzi lutho. Shaya inja ngempama noma cha? Abantu abadala banethuba lokuzikhethela, bathathe izinyathelo, futhi baveze imizwa yabo. Ingane encane ayinalo ithuba lokwenza isinqumo esinjalo ngokuqaphela, ngoba izici ezintathu ezibalwe zombono wemizwa azenziwanga kuye ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ingane iqala ukwenza kahle izenzo (isici sesithathu) kanyekanye nokubonakaliswa okuzenzakalelayo kokusabela kwemizwelo (isici sesibili) futhi lokhu kwenzeka ngaphambi kokuvela kokuzazi (isici sokuqala). Ngakho-ke, abantu abadala benza ukuqwashisa ingane. Ingane izwakalisa umuzwa, futhi umzali uyayiqamba, eveza kokubili imbangela nomphumela. Isibonelo, “Ingabe uyaphapha manje? Uyesaba. Woza ezandleni zami, umama uzokuvikela, awunakuzivikela, futhi umhlaba unokhahlo. Ingane izosebenzisa isimo sayo se-Adult ego ukuze iqwashise, kodwa kamuva. Ngokuvamile, Ingane Ekhulisiwe, Eguquguqukayo iyakwamukela futhi ivumelane nencazelo yomzali yalokho okwenzekayo. Lapho ingane ikhula, isimo sayo sokuzicabangela komuntu Abadala, okungenzeka sonakaliswe isimo somntwana sokuzazisa, sizokopisha iziphetho zomzali. Uzohlola "ukwethuka" njengempendulo yokwesaba, hhayi injabulo noma ukubanda, isibonelo.
Ake sibuyele emizweni ye-racket. Kukhona amadodakazi amabili emndenini wethu - Katya futhi Ksenia. Bobabili bazwa imingcele yabo ngobuqili futhi babona ukwephulwa kwemingcele kakhulu. Ake sithi Ksenya wathatha into Katya intandokazi ngaphandle kokubuza. Ebona lokhu, uKatya wathukuthela washaya udadewabo. Wavele wakhala uKsenya wagijima waya kugogo wakhe. Ugogo wethu akayona i-psychotherapist, ngakho-ke wenza ngendlela evamile, "eyobuntu". “Uyintombazane, awukwazi ukulwa,” kusho ugogo. Ngakho-ke, alinaki futhi livimbela umuzwa wentukuthelo kumzukulu. Ugogo unikeza ukusabela kuphela ezenzweni. “Zonke izingxabano kumele zixazululwe ngokuthula,” kuqhubeka ugogo bese enikeza isu. “Uyintombazane ehlakaniphile, Katya,” elungisa ngokushaywa unhlangothi.
Okufanele ukwenze futhi kanjani ukukhulisa izingane? Kunamasu amabili esiwasebenzisa ngenkuthalo kokubili njengabazali nezingane zabo nanjengabelaphi emsebenzini we-psychotherapeutic. Isu lokuqala ukukufundisa ukwehlukanisa imizwa nezenzo. Isu lesibili ukufundisa indlela yokukhetha izindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokuveza imizwa kanye nezenzo eziphumelela kakhulu.
Ake sibuyele emadodakazini ethu. Umzali uthi: “Ngibona wena, Katya, uthukuthelele uKsenya. Kodwa awuvunyelwe ukumshaya." Umzali akaziba, kodwa uyawemukela umuzwa wentukuthelo, kodwa akamvumeli udade ukuba alimale. “Ungamemeza, umemeze, ucasuke, ushaye i-punching bag (sinamagilavu esibhakela nesikhwama sokubhoboza), uveze intukuthelo yakho nganoma iyiphi indlela, kodwa ungamshayi udadewenu.” Amantombazane afunda ukukhetha phakathi kokuveza imizwa nokwenza. Ukwehlukanisa imizwa nezenzo kukuvumela ukuthi uthathe isikhathi ukwazi imizwa yakho nezisusa zakho zesenzo. Futhi esikhathini esizayo - ukuqaphela isifiso sabo sokwakha ubudlelwano obunye, obucacile, obusobala. “Anginankinga nokukunikeza into yami. Ngiyakucela ukuthi ungathathi izinto zami ngaphandle kwemvume esikhathini esizayo,” kusho uKatya kudadewabo. Esimweni esinjalo, amantombazane awanakho ukuvinjelwa ekuboniseni intukuthelo, akukho ukushintshwa kwemizwa ye-racket. Bafuna, bazame futhi bathole izindlela ezintsha eziphucuzekile zokusebenzelana futhi baveze imizwa ngaphandle kokuhlaselwa ngokomzimba.
Imizwa ye-racket, kanye neyiqiniso, ingabonakala ngokushesha - "lapha futhi manje", noma ingaqoqwa ukuze isetshenziswe kamuva. Kukhona isisho - ukwehla kokugcina enkomishini yokubekezela, okukuvumela ukuba ugumbuqele inkomishi yonke kumoni. Ukwehla ngethonsi kwerekhethi kubizwa ngokuthi ukuqoqwa kwezitembu. Izingane ziziqoqa kanjani izitembu, amakhuphoni, amalebula, okhokho, ukuze zithole umklomelo kamuva. Noma baqoqa izinhlamvu zemali ebhange lezingulube ukuze bazenzele isipho, ukuthenga okwamukelekile. Ngakho-ke siyakuhlehlisa ukuze kamuva, siqongelela imizwa ye-racket. Okwani? Bese ukuthola umvuzo noma retribution.
Ngokwesibonelo, indoda ibekezelela umkayo ophishekela umsebenzi othile ngentshiseko. Umuzwa wakhe wangempela wokwesaba isizungu, ukulahlwa, uthathelwa indawo ukucasuka kwe-racket. Akayibonisi obala imizwa yakhe eyiqiniso. Akamtsheli iqiniso umkakhe:
“S’thandwa, ngesaba kakhulu ukulahlekelwa nguwe. Wena ungukukhanya efasiteleni kimi, incazelo yempilo yami, injabulo nokuthula. Kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi owesifazane ngemva kwamagama anjalo ngeke ahlale engenandaba futhi uzokwenza konke ukuze asondelene kakhulu nale ndoda. Kodwa-ke, empeleni, umyeni ubonisa ukungabi nandaba kwe-racket futhi aqongelela izimpawu zokucasuka ngokuphindisela. Lapho "indebe yokubekezela" iphuphuma, uveza konke mayelana nezikhalo zakhe. Unkosikazi uyahamba. Uhlala yedwa. Inkokhelo yakhe isizungu ayesaba kakhulu.
Ikhuphoni, noma isitembu, umuzwa werakhethi umuntu awuqoqayo ngenjongo yokushintshiselana ngembuyiselo engemihle. Bona →
Ingabe unalo ibhange lezingulube? Uma ikhona, zicabange uyishaya ngesando esikhulu futhi uyiphihliza kubahlinzeki. Noma minza olwandle oluluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, ubophe i-cobblestone ehloniphekile "ku-kitty" noma "ingulube" oyikhonzile.
Yeka ubunzima bemizwa enqwabelene. Bavalelise. Memeza kakhulu "Usale kahle!".
Isigaba esilandelayo somsebenzi wokwelapha ukufundisa iklayenti ukuveza imizwa yalo ngaphandle kokuyiqongelela. Ukuze senze lokhu, sisebenzisa izindlela zokwelapha zengqondo zokuziphatha ezisekelwe ekuthuthukisweni nasekuhlanganisweni kwamakhono amasha okuziphatha. Kulesi sigaba, sinikeza iklayenti umsebenzi wesikole wasekhaya ngenkuthalo. Lo msebenzi owokujwayela isipiliyoni esisha seklayenti ku-micro- and macro-society yalo. Ufunda ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ahlaziye imizwa yakhe, izenzo nemicabango evela kulokhu. Wakha uhlelo olusha lokushintshwa kwe-stroke futhi azivuze ngempumelelo. Bona →
Ngakho-ke, irakhethi iwuhlelo lwamaphethini wesimo sokuziphatha asetshenziswa ngaphandle kokuqwashisa, njengendlela yokuzwa imizwa yerakhethi. Irakhethi yinqubo inhloso yayo ukuthola imivimbo yemizwa ye-racket. Ngokungazi sihlanekezela umbono weqiniso elisizungezile, singazinaki izidingo zethu, sidlale imidlalo engokwengqondo futhi sithole imivimbo engamanga. Bona →