Kungase kubonakale sengathi njengoba ucasulwe, kukuwe ukuthi unqume ukuthi uyamthethelela yini umuntu noma umenze axolise izikhathi ezimbalwa. Kodwa empeleni, yonke into iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Uma ufuna ukugcina ubuhlobo nomuntu owonile, awukwazi ukwenqaba ukumthethelela, ngaphandle kwalokho amathuba akho okubuyisana azoba zero.
Lesi siphetho safinyelelwa ochwepheshe bezengqondo base-Australia, isihloko sabo sanyatheliswa kumagazini othi Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin..
UMichael Tai waseNyuvesi yaseQueensland kanye nozakwabo benza izivivinyo ezine ezingokwengqondo. Ngesikhathi sokuqala, abahlanganyeli bacelwa ukuba bakhumbule izimo lapho becasule othile, bese bexolisa ngobuqotho kumsulu. Ingxenye yabahlanganyeli kwadingeka ichaze ngokubhala phansi ukuthi yazizwa kanjani lapho intethelelo yamukelwa, futhi abanye lapho bengathethelelwanga.
Kuvele ukuthi labo abangazange baxolelwe babone ukusabela kohlukunyezwa njengokwephulwa okusobala kwemikhuba yezenhlalo. Ukwenqaba "ukuxolela futhi ukhohlwe" kwenza abenzi bobubi bazizwe sengathi bayahluleka ukulawula isimo.
Ngenxa yalokho, umenzi wobubi kanye nesisulu bashintsha izindima: lowo oqale wenza ngokungafanele waba nomuzwa wokuthi isisulu nguye, ukuthi ucasukile. Kulesi simo, amathuba okuxazulula ingxabano ngokuthula aba mancane - umenzi "wonile" uyazisola ngokuthi ucele intethelelo futhi akafuni ukubekezelela isisulu.
Imiphumela etholakele yaqinisekiswa phakathi kwezinye izivivinyo ezintathu. Njengoba ababhali bephawula, lona kanye iqiniso lokuxolisa komoni libuyisela amandla phezu kwesimo ezandleni zomuntu ohlukunyeziwe, ongamxolela noma abambe igqubu. Esimeni sakamuva, ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu bungaqedwa unomphela.
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