Okuqukethwe
"Ngabe ngizomthanda kangaka?" », Umbuzo esizibuza wona nakanjani ngolunye usuku lapho silindele umntwana wethu wesibili. Ngokunengqondo, sesiyayazi eyokuqala, siyithanda kakhulu, singakwazi kanjani ukunikeza uthando olungaka kulo mntwana omncane esingakawazi? Kuthiwani uma bekujwayelekile? Buyekeza ngochwepheshe bethu.
Abazali: Singakwazi yini ukuthanda izingane zethu kakhulu kodwa… ngendlela ehlukile?
UFlorence Millot: Kungani ungamane wamukele umbono wokuthi awusoze wazithanda izingane zakho kangako, noma ngendlela efanayo? Phela akubona abantu abafanayo laba. ngempela basithumelela okuhlukile ngokwesimo sabo sokuziphatha, esikulindele, kanye nesimo sokuzalwa kwabo. Ukuzithola ungasebenzi noma ebuhlotsheni obudonsa kanzima ekuzalweni kwesibili, isibonelo, kungenza okunamathiselwe kube nzima kakhulu. Ngokuphambene, uma omncane ebukeka ngathi kakhulu, angasiqinisekisa ngokungazi, akhuthaze isibopho.
Ukwakha izibopho eziqinile kungase futhi kuthathe izinsuku, amasonto, izinyanga, ngisho neminyaka embalwa kwabanye omama. Futhi iqiniso lokuthi umphakathi wethu ungcwelisa umfanekiso kamama ophelele owazisa usana lwakhe kusukela ekuzalweni akukwenzi kube lula kithi ...
Ingabe kuyinto engathi sína ukukhetha enye yezingane zakho?
Ukhozi FM: Nakuba kungebona bonke abazali abakuqaphelayo ngempela noma abenqabayo ukukuvuma, sithanda ngamunye wezingane zethu ngenxa yezizathu ezihlukahlukene nangamazinga ahlukahlukene, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyathanda noma singathandi. Ngokungafani nabangane bethu, asizikhethi izingane zethu, sizivumelanisa nazo, ngakho-ke, lapho umuntu esabela kangcono kulokho esikulindele, ngokwemvelo siyolondoloza ukuhambisana okwengeziwe naye. Okubalulekile ukuthi ingane ngayinye ithole ukulandisa kwayo ngokomzwelo phakathi kukayise, unina namanye amalungu omndeni, ukulwela ukubathanda ngokufanayo kuyinto engenakwenzeka njengoba kungenamsebenzi ngoba, kuye ngeminyaka yabo noma isimilo sabo, izingane azikwenzi lokho. babe nezidingo ezifanayo zothando nokunakwa futhi ungazivezi ngendlela efanayo.
Kufanele sikhulume nini ngakho?
Ukhozi FM: Lapho ukuziphatha kwethu kubangela umona wobuzalwane - ngisho noma, vele, kukhona abathile kuyo yonke imindeni, noma yiliphi ilungu lezelamani elidinga ukuzizwa lihlukile - futhi ingane isitshela ukuthi izizwa kanjani ingathandwa kancane noma inenkinga yokuthola indawo yakho, kufanele ukhulume ngakho. Ngisho noma kusho ukuthintana nochwepheshe ukuze asiphelezele, ukuze asisize sithole amagama afanele, ngoba kuseyindaba engafaneleki kakhulu. Imuphi umama ongathanda ukuvuma enganeni yakhe ukuthi ngempela unamahhuku amaningi nomfowabo noma udadewabo? Lolu sizo lwangaphandle luzokwazi futhi ukusiqinisekisa ngephuzu elibalulekile: kulungile ukungabathandi ngokufanayo, futhi lokho akusenzi singabazali ababi!
Ukuxoxa ngakho nalabo abasizungezile, abangani bethu, kuyosisiza futhi ukuba silulaze lesi simo futhi siziqinisekise: abanye nabo bangase baneliseke ngenzalo yabo noma bawele imizwa engaqondakali, futhi lokho akubavimbeli ekuthandeni izingane zabo. .
Ngingakugwema kanjani ukulimaza ingane yami?
Ukhozi FM: Ngezinye izikhathi asiqapheli ukuthi isimo sethu sengqondo sinikeza ingane umbono wokuthi ithandwa kancane kunomfowabo noma udadewabo. Uma eze ezokhononda, siqala ngokumbuza ukuthi kuziphi izimo ayezizwa eshiywe ngaphandle, alungise isimo futhi simqinisekise ngakho konke okusemandleni. Khona-ke, ngaphandle kokuqabula nokugona, kungani singacabangi ngemisebenzi esiyokwazi ukuhlangana kuyo futhi sihlanganyele izikhathi ezikhethekile?
Akukhona mayelana nokuziphatha ngokufanayo nezingane zakho. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ukuthenga izipho ezifanayo noma ukwanga ngesikhathi esifanayo kubeka engcupheni ukuphikisana phakathi kwezingane zakini, ezizozama ukugqama emehlweni ethu. Futhi, umdala wethu oneminyaka engu-11 ubudala akanaso isidingo esingokomzwelo esifana nesikadadewabo oneminyaka emibili ubudala. Into eyinhloko ukuthi wonke umuntu uzizwa ethandwa, ehlonishwa ekuhlukeni kwayo: ezemidlalo, izifundo, izimfanelo zomuntu, njll.
Ubufakazi buka-Anne-Sophie: “Omdala wayekhethekile iminyaka eyisikhombisa! “
U-Louise, umuntu omdala wami, uyintombazane ezwela kakhulu, enamahloni, ehlakaniphile ... Wayemagange, cishe phakathi kweminyaka engu-5-6, ukuba nomfowethu omncane noma udadewabo omncane ... UPauline, uyingane ethatha indawo yakhe. ngaphandle kokubuza ukuthi iyahlupha yini, ayihlungiwe, iyazenzekela futhi izimisele kakhulu.
Kwanele ukusho ukuthi laba ababili abahambisani kakhulu ... Unomona omkhulu, u-Louise uhlale "enqaba" kakhulu noma kancane udadewabo. Sivame ukwenza amahlaya ngokumtshela ukuthi unenhlanhla yokungabi nabafowethu nodadewethu abayisithupha… Siphinde sizame ukumchazela ukuthi ubenenkululeko yokuzikhethela iminyaka engu-7. Ukube wayenomfowabo omncane, kwakungase kuhluke. Bekungeke kudingeke ukuthi ashiyele omncane izinto eziningi kangaka: amathoyizi, izingubo, izincwadi… ”
U-Anne Sophie, oneminyaka engu-38, unina kaLouise, oneminyaka engu-12, noPauline, oneminyaka emi-5 nengxenye ubudala
Ingabe lokhu kungashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi?
Ukhozi FM: Akukho lutho oluke lulungiswe, izixhumanisi ziyaguquguquka kusukela ekuzalweni kuya ebudaleni. Umama angase athande enye yezingane zakhe isencane noma esondelene kakhulu nayo, futhi ilahlekelwa isikhundla sayo njengesithandwa njengoba ikhula. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, njengoba ujwayelana nengane yakho, leyo obungasondelene kangako nayo, ungase uthande izimfanelo zayo obungathanda ukuba nazo - ngokwesibonelo, uma ungumuntu ongenwayo futhi indodana yakho inomlingiswa othanda ukuhlalisana nabanye abantu. – futhi sigxilise amehlo ethu kuye, ngoba ungumphelelisi wethu. Ngamafuphi, cishe kukhona okuthandwayo futhi ngokuvamile kuyashintsha. Isikhathi esisodwa, bese kuba esinye. Futhi kanye.
Ingxoxo kaDorothée Louessard
* Umbhali webhulogi ethi www.pédagogieinnovante.com, kanye nezincwadi ezithi “Kunezilo ngaphansi kombhede wami” kanye “Nezimiso zeToltec ezisetshenziswa ezinganeni”, ed. I-Hatchet.