Kuyisiko ukuthi sihlaze omama. Kwani? Yebo, kukho konke. Ukujabulisa wonke umuntu kuwumsebenzi ongenakwenzeka. Ugqokisa ingane yakho ngokufudumele kakhulu noma kancane, ingane yakho ithule ngokusolisayo noma inomsindo kakhulu, iminyene kakhulu noma ibukeka ingondlekile. Kanjani, usevele unyaka nesigamu, futhi awusamhambisi ezifundweni zaseMontessori? Awuyena nhlobo umama! Ikhukhamba!
Ucabanga ukuthi ungumama oyisinengiso? Kulungile, uqinisile!
Futhi lokhu akubangelwa ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngawe. Bazohlala bekhona abantu abangeke bazithande izindlela zakho zokukhulisa izingane. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukukhuliswa kwabo (uxolo ngale-tautology edabukisayo) kuzobavumela ngomoya ophansi ukuba baveze izimangalo zabo kuwe mathupha.
“Isimo senkanyezi” akusona isiqephu esimelene nokugxekwa. Futhi ngokuphambene nalokho: ufana nendwangu ebomvu yenkunzi. Izibonelo zamuva zihlanganisa u-Anfisa Chekhova, ababhalisile bakhe besaba ukuthi indodana yakhe idla i-pasta ngezandla zayo. Futhi ngisho namakhathuni! Yenza, awukwazi ukuxolela. Noma uMaxim Vitorgan, owacishe “wadliwa ephila” ngokuqunga isibindi sokuzilolonga “eziyingozi” nendodana yakhe. Futhi uKsenia Sobchak? Usithatha kanjani isibindi sokupompa umshini wokunyathelisa ohlotsheni oluthile lokufaneleka, kuyilapho kufanele ahlale ekhaya futhi ashwibe indodana yakhe. "Yeka igama eliyisiphukuphuku," abalandeli babhalela u-Anna Sedokova lapho bezwa ukuthi waqamba indodana yakhe uHector.
Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha kuyisici somqondo waseRussia? Asiphoxe. Omama emhlabeni wonke bahlushwa “abafisela okuhle”. Lesi sigameko emazweni aseNtshonalanga size saqhamuka negama elithi “mumshaming” (elisuka egameni elithi shame – shame).
Osekunesikhathi eside omama bezizwa kubo kuqinisekiswa izibalo. Ucwaningo lwenziwa e-United States ngomyalo we-Charles Stuart Mott Children's Hospital. Abesifazane abanezingane ezingaphansi kweminyaka emihlanu kwaxoxwa nabo - lokhu, njengoba kwavela, izilaleli "ezisengozini" kakhulu. Futhi nazi izinto ezintathu ezibalulekile ongazithatha:
1. Sekukonke, izingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu zomama (futhi cishe abangamashumi amahlanu babo babambe iqhaza ocwaningweni) bayagxekwa maqondana nezingane zabo.
2. Ngokuvamile, omama bagxekwa amalungu emindeni yabo.
3. Ukugxeka okuthathu okuvame kakhulu yilezi: isiyalo, ukondleka, ukulala.
Manje ngemininingwane. Ngokuvamile (61% yabaphenduli) omama abasebasha bagxekwa ngempela yizihlobo: umyeni, umamezala, nomama wakhe. Uma kuqhathaniswa nalesi sibalo, ukugxekwa kwezintombi nabangane, nakuba kuthatha indawo yesibili, kubukeka cishe kungenandaba - kuphela i-14%. Endaweni yesithathu kukhona “omama” abavela ezinkundleni zokudlala. Bona kanye abahlale bekwazi ukukhulisa umntwana bangcono kakhulu futhi abanqeni ukuphawula kumuntu ongamazi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ezintweni ezincane - abahlaziyi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kanye nodokotela emitholampilo.
Futhi kuyingxenye yezinkinga uma wonke la maqabane ehlasela ngamunye ngamunye. Kodwa-ke, wonke umama wesine okwaxoxwa naye wavuma ukuthi wahlaselwa abameleli bamaqembu amathathu noma ngaphezulu ahlukene abagxeki.
Yini le abangayithandi labo abazondayo? Okokuqala, kunjalo, ukuziphatha komntwana. Lokhu kuphawulwe ngamaphesenti angama-70 abaphendulile. Kunomsindo kakhulu, kunomsindo kakhulu, kugangile futhi ... Amaphutha enganeni yakho alungele ukubona cishe yonke into.
Endaweni yesibili neyesithathu ukugxekwa kokudla kanye nendlela yokulala. Siyafunga, ogogo bazihlalela lapha. Bese kuba khona “izimpi” zabasekeli nabamelene nokuncelisa ibele.
Benzenjani omama uma begxekwa? Ngithanda ukusitshela ukuthi amagama alumelayo awanakwa. Kodwa cha. Izitatimende zabo ziyabamba. Abaningi baqala ukufuna ulwazi ngesihloko bebodwa noma babuze udokotela umbuzo ukuze baqiniseke ukuthi baqinisile noma abaphikisana naye. Abesifazane abangaphezu kwengxenye eyodwa kwezintathu bathi ukugxekwa kwaphoqa ukuba bashintshe imibono yabo ngokukhuliswa noma ukuziphatha kwengane.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, amaphesenti angu-42 omama okwaxoxwa nawo avuma: aqala ukuzizwa engalondekile ngemva kokugxekwa, ngisho noma kungenasisekelo. Amaphesenti angu-56 ayekile ukugxeka abanye besifazane ngemva kokuzwa ukuthi kwakunjani. Futhi isibalo sokugcina - isigamu somama bayeka ukuxhumana "nabafisa kahle" futhi bazama ukubagwema. Ngakho-ke, uma wazi konke, cabanga ngalokho okuthandeka kakhulu kuwe: ukuveza umbono noma ukugcina umngane oseduze.