Amadoda angalufuni ucansi

Izazi zocansi kanye nodokotela bengqondo bayanda ukuzwa izikhalo zabesilisa mayelana nokuntula isifiso. “Kunentsha eningi kakhulu phakathi kwabo, engakafiki ngisho nangamashumi amathathu,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo komkhaya u-Inna Shifanova. “Abanazo izinkinga ezingokomzimba, kodwa futhi abanazo inkanuko: abanandaba nomlingani othile noma yimuphi umlingani nhlobo.” Lokhu kwehla kwentshisekelo ocansini kuvelaphi, aphumaphi amadoda angalufuni ucansi?

Isifiso esicindezelwe

“Njengoba ngikhangwa owesifazane, ngiyibona kusengaphambili inkinga,” kuvuma uMikhail oneminyaka engu-43 ubudala. “Ngesaba kakhulu ukuhluleka ukuzibamba. Lokhu kwenzekile ngaphambili, futhi njalo lapho ngenza amaphutha angilahlekisela kakhulu. Isifiso sokugwema imiphumela engathandeki, njengokuncika kumlingani, ukulahlekelwa ukuzimela, ingozi yokuba isisulu sokuxoshwa ngokomzwelo («ngeke kube khona ucansi kuze kube yilapho ngithola isipho») — konke lokhu kungaphoqa umuntu ukuthi enqabe ukusondelana. ubudlelwano. Lokhu akusho ukuthi indoda ayinaso isifiso sobulili.

“Inyamalala kuphela ngaphansi kwethonya lokuphazamiseka okukhulu kwama-hormone,” kugcizelela isazi sobulili u-Yuri Prokopenko. “Kodwa-ke, ukukhanga kungacindezelwa.” Ngokungafani nezilwane, abantu bayakwazi ukulawula umuzwa wabo wemvelo. Ngakho, singakhetha ukuyeka ubumnandi benyama egameni lombono.

“Labo abakhuliswe ngomoya wokuziphatha okuqinile bangase babheke ubulili njengento esongelayo, “engalungile,” kunezela isazi sobulili u-Irina Panyukova. Bese kuthi-ke umuntu onjalo uzohlola ukuzithiba okuphelele noma okuyingxenye njengokuziphatha “okuhle”.

Ukwesaba ukwehluleka

Sezadlula izinsuku lapho ubumnandi besilisa kuphela obubalulekile ocansini. Namuhla, indoda iyazi ukuthi umsebenzi wayo ukunakekela owesifazane. Obani ngezinye izikhathi abakholelwa ukuthi, kanye nelungelo lokuzijabulisa, bathole ilungelo lokugxekwa, ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu. Izinkulumo ezinjalo zingabulala isifiso sowesilisa. “Ukugxekwa ngokobulili kugxilile enkumbulweni yendoda ngokungenakucimeka, iyokukhumbula ukuphila kwayo konke,” kusho isazi sobulili u-Irina Panyukova.

“Ngezinye izikhathi ngiye ngizwe abesifazane bekhononda: “Akazange anginike i-orgasm,” kusho u-Yuri Prokopenko, “njengokungathi umlingani wakhe uyamfihla futhi angahlanganyeli. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuqonda kahle ukulingana kobulili: akunakwenzeka ukubeka wonke umthwalo wenjabulo kumbhangqwana kumlingani oyedwa kuphela. Ngamunye kufanele afunde ukuzinakekela, ukuhlela nokuqondisa omunye uma kudingekile.”

Lawula izindinganiso zabesifazane

Izingcindezi zezenhlalo ezifihliwe nazo ziyimbangela yokuncipha kwesifiso samadoda, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uHelen Vecchiali.

“Umphakathi uphakamisa ubufazi kanye “nobuntu besifazane”: ubumnene, ukuvumelana, isifiso sokuxoxa ngakho konke ... akushoyo. "Amadoda ayadingeka ukuba athuthukise lezi zimfanelo ngokwawo - njengokungathi yonke into "ilungile" kwabesifazane, futhi konke akulungile emadodeni! Kulula yini ukuhlala uyindoda uma lokho okuhlanganisa ubudoda kubhekwa njengokunolaka, ulaka, unya? Indlela yokuveza isifiso ngamazwi angavamile kusikhulumi? Futhi ngemva kwakho konke, abesifazane abazuzi ekwehlweni okunjalo kwezindinganiso zabesilisa.

“Kudingeka batuse indoda ukuze bayithande,” kuqhuba isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Futhi zidinga ukufunwa. Kuvele ukuthi abesifazane bayalahlekelwa nhlangothi zombili: bahlala nabesilisa abangasathandwa futhi abangasabafisi.

Iphutha lesibukeli

Kwesinye isikhathi isiphetho sokuthi isifiso sesiphelile senziwa ngomunye noma bobabili abalingani, hhayi ngesisekelo samaqiniso, kodwa ngesisekelo sokuqagela mayelana nokuthi «kufanele kube kanjani.» "Unyaka wonke, mina nomngane wami sasihlangana kanye ngesonto, futhi ngezwa kuphela izincomo ezithopha kakhulu ezivela kuye," uPavel, 34, uxoxa ngendaba yakhe. “Nokho, lapho nje siqala ukuhlala ndawonye, ​​ngezwa enganeliseki ayekhula futhi ngingaziqondi izizathu kwaze kwaba yilapho ebuza ngokungagwegwesi ukuthi kungani siye saba nobulili obuncane kangaka. Kodwa kwakungengaphansi kunangaphambili! Kwatholakala ukuthi wayelindele ukuthi lapho behlala ndawonye, ​​ubusuku ngabunye buyoba nothando njengasemihlanganweni emifushane. Ngingaqondile, ngamdumaza futhi ngazizwa ngidabukile.”

"Umbono wokuthi indoda ifuna ucansi ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi ikulungele noma nini, ngokuthanda kwakhe, nanoma ubani, iphenduka inganekwane noma inkohliso esekelwe eqinisweni lokuthi lokho kuthathwa njengokujwayelekile. ukubusa. Ngokwemvelo, amadoda anezidingo ezahlukene zocansi, - uyaqhubeka u-Yuri Prokopenko. - Phakathi nenkathi yokuthandana, iyanda, kodwa ibuyela ezingeni elivamile. Futhi imizamo yokwandisa izenzo zocansi ngokungemthetho igcwele izinkinga zempilo, njengezinkinga zenhliziyo. Kubalulekile futhi ukukhumbula ukuthi isifiso socansi siyancipha ngokukhula, hhayi ukufuna kuwe noma kumlingani wakho "amarekhodi" angaphambilini.

Ingabe kufanele kusolwe izithombe ezingcolile?

Imibono yochwepheshe iyahluka ngokuthi ukutholakala kwezithombe ezingcolile zobulili kanye nemikhiqizo evusa inkanuko kusithinta kanjani isifiso sowesilisa. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJacques Aren ukholelwa ukuthi “kukhona ukusutha okuthile kobulili okugcwalisa yonke into ezungezile. Kodwa isifiso ngaso sonke isikhathi sibangelwa ukuntula esikufisayo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ugcizelela ukuthi esizukulwaneni esisha, ukuntuleka kwesifiso akusho ukungabi khona kobudlelwane bobulili: lobu budlelwane buvele bukhiphe ingxenye yomzwelo, bube "ubuchwepheshe".

Futhi u-Yuri Prokopenko ukholelwa ukuthi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile azinciphisi isifiso: «Isifiso sobulili sifana nendlala: asinakuqedwa ngokubuka abanye bedla. Nokho, ngokombono wakhe, umkhuba wezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ungathinta izinga lokwaneliseka: “Abathandi bama-video bangase bangabi naso izinto ezishukumisa ingqondo, ngoba phakathi nobuhlobo bobulili bangempela asibukeki kangako ngendlela esizizwa ngayo, esizizwa ngayo, senze ngayo.” Ungakwazi ukulungisa lokhu kuntuleka ngosizo lwezibuko, futhi eminye imibhangqwana isebenzisa imishini yevidiyo ukuze izibuke eceleni, izizwa njengeqembu elidala lefilimu yabo evusa inkanuko.

Hlola amahomoni

Uma kwenzeka ukulahlekelwa isifiso, amadoda angaphezu kuka-50 kufanele athintane nodokotela, udokotela we-andrologist u-Ronald Virag weluleka. Ukukhanga kuhlobene namazinga e-testosterone. Okuqukethwe kwayo egazini kuvela ku-3 kuya ku-12 nanograms ngemililitha ngayinye. Uma iwela ngaphansi kwaleli zinga, kuba khona ukwehla okuphawulekayo kwesifiso. Eminye imingcele yezinto eziphilayo nayo idlala indima, ikakhulukazi amahomoni e-pituitary ne-hypothalamus, kanye nama-neurotransmitters (ama-dopamine, ama-endorphin, i-oxytocin). Ngaphezu kwalokho, eminye imithi icindezela ukukhiqizwa kwe-testosterone. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ama-hormone angase abekwe.

U-Yuri Prokopenko uyacacisa: “Nokho, ukuze ukuncipha kwesifiso kubangelwe ngokuqondile yizizathu zamahomoni, kufanele kube kubi kakhulu (ngokwesibonelo, ukuthenwa (okuhlanganisa notshwala). Uma phakathi nokuthomba izinga lamahomoni wesilisa lalivamile, khona-ke kufanele kube kubi kakhulu. ukushintshashintsha kwazo okungokwemvelo esikhathini esizayo akuthinti i-libido Izizathu zokuncipha kwesifiso ngokuyinhloko zingokwengqondo.

Ingcindezi yokulayisha ngokweqile

“Lapho owesilisa engijikela mayelana nokuntula isifiso, kuvame ukuvela ukuthi unobunzima ... emsebenzini,” kuphawula u-Inna Shifanova. "Elahlekelwa ukuzethemba emakhono akhe, uqala ukungabaza amanye amakhono akhe." Isifiso socansi siyingxenye eyodwa nje ye-libido yethu nesifiso sisonke. Ukungabikho kwakhe kungabhalwa kumongo wokucindezeleka: indoda ayisafuni ukuya ocansini, kodwa ayisafuni enye into.

UJacques Aren uchaza “isifo sendoda endala ekhathele”: “Unomsebenzi omningi, izingane ezimkhathazayo, izinkinga ezihlobene “nokuguga” kokuphila komshado, wesaba ukuguga nokuncipha kwamandla, futhi akulula kangako ukumnika amandla amasha. ngesifiso sakho." Yenqaba ukugxekwa, ukwesekwa - yilokho owesifazane angamenzela khona. Kodwa-ke, kuyadingeka ukuxoxa ngobunzima bomlingani ngokuqapha, ukuvikela ukuzethemba kwakhe futhi ukhumbule ukuthi "ukukhuluma ngezihloko eziyinkinga kungabangela ukukhathazeka nokukhathazeka. Le mizwa iholela ezifisweni zomzimba,” kugcizelela u-Irina Panyukova. Ngakho ungayiqali ingxoxo enjalo ngaphambi kokusondelana ngokomzimba.

Nyathelana?

Indlela yokuvumelanisa izifiso zabesifazane nabesilisa? “Ngiyanyakaza,” kuphendula uHelen Vecchiali, “ngokwamukela iqiniso lokuthi izinto sezishintshile. Siphila enkathini yokushintsha kwezindima, futhi sekwephuzile kakhulu ukuzisola ngezikhathi zokhokho. Sekuyisikhathi sokuthi abesifazane bayeke ukufuna yonke into emadodeni ngesikhathi esisodwa. Futhi kuyoba usizo kumadoda ukuhlanganisa: abesifazane bashintshile, futhi namuhla bayazi ukuthi bafunani. Ngalo mqondo, amadoda kufanele athathe isibonelo kubo futhi aqinise isifiso sabo.