Okuqukethwe
Abaningi bethu bakhule benenkolelo yokuthi amadoda anesithembu kanti abesifazane banesithembu. Noma kunjalo, le nkolelo-mbono mayelana nobulili ayisabalulekile, kusho ongoti bethu bobulili. Kodwa yini evame kakhulu namuhla - isithembu sabo bobabili ubulili noma ukwethembeka kwabo?
"Abesilisa nabesifazane banesithembu ngokwemvelo"
U-Alain Eril, isazi se-psychoanalyst, isazi sezocansi:
Ithiyori ye-psychoanalysis isifundisa ukuthi sonke, abesilisa nabesifazane, ngokwemvelo sinesithembu, okungukuthi, ngesikhathi esisodwa singakwazi ukuba nezifiso eziningi. Ngisho noma sithanda futhi silangazelela umlingani wethu noma umlingani wethu, i-libido yethu idinga izinto eziningi.
Umehluko kuphela ukuthi siyaqhubekela ezenzweni ezifanele noma ukuthi senza isinqumo futhi sithole amandla kithi ukuze singazigwemi. Ngaphambili, ngokwesiko lethu, indoda yayinalo ilungelo elinjalo, kodwa owesifazane wayengenalo.
Namuhla, imibhangqwana emisha ivame ukufuna ukwethembeka okuphelele.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kungashiwo ukuthi ukwethembeka kusiphoqelela ekukhungathekeni okuthile, okunzima ukukubekezelela ngezinye izikhathi, kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukukhungatheka kuyisenzakalo sokukhumbula ukuthi asibona abaninimandla onke futhi akufanele sicabange ukuthi izwe. ubophekile ukulalela izifiso zethu.
Ngamafuphi, indaba yokwethembeka ixazululwa phakathi kombhangqwana ngamunye ngezindlela ezihlukene, kuye ngokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu ngamunye kanye neminyaka yobudala yabalingani.
“Ekuqaleni, amadoda ayenesithembu kakhulu”
U-Mireille Bonierbal, udokotela wezifo zengqondo, udokotela wezocansi
Uma sibheka izilwane, sizobona ukuthi ngokuvamile iduna livundisa izinsikazi eziningana, ngemva kwalokho lingasahlanganyeli, sithi, ekufukameleni amaqanda noma ekukhuliseni amawundlu. Ngakho, isithembu sowesilisa sibonakala sinqunywa ngokwesayensi yezinto eziphilayo, okungenani ezilwaneni.
Kodwa izilwane nabantu bahlukaniswa inqubo ende yokuhlalisana. Kungacatshangwa ukuthi ekuqaleni amadoda ayenesithembu ngokwendalo.
Ngokuthuthukisa amandla okuzinikela, kancane kancane bashintsha lesi sici sobulili.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, iziguli zami ezivame ukuya ezindaweni ezithile "zokuthenga ucansi" ziqinisekisa ukuthi kukhona ukungqubuzana phakathi kokuziphatha kwamadoda nabesifazane esimweni esinjalo.
Indoda, njengomthetho, ibheka ubudlelwano bosuku olulodwa obungokomzimba, obungabophi. Ngokuphambene nalokho, isiphakamiso sokuya ocansini esivela kowesifazane ngokuvamile siyizaba, empeleni, unethemba lokuthi kamuva uzokwakha ubuhlobo bangempela nomlingani wakhe.