Ukuba khona ngokomzwelo kwabantu asebedlulile emhlabeni, izinkumbulo zokuhlukumezeka okuhlangenwe nakho, inkumbulo ehlangene — konke lokhu kusibangela imizwa enamandla futhi kuthinta izimpilo zethu. Kungani ukubuyela kokuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule nokubhekana nosizi kungaba usizo kithi kwamanje?
Izinkumbulo zethu zakhiwe izingcezu eziningi ezahlukene. Siwagcina ezithombeni, ezinhlwini zokudlalayo, emaphusheni nasemicabangweni. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ukuphindaphinda okuvamile okwedlule kuba uhlobo lokulutha: ukucwiliswa ku-melancholy kungaba nemiphumela ehlukene.
Ukuthatheka ngenkumbulo yinto eyahlukaniswa ngeminyaka yawo-1980, kwathi eshumini leminyaka kamuva kwavela egameni elithi Trauma and Memory Studies. Izinkumbulo ezibuhlungu, njengazo zonke izinkumbulo zabantu, zivame ukuhlanekezelwa. Abantu bavame ukukhumbula ukuhlukumezeka okukhulu kunalokho ababhekana nakho.
Lokhu kwenzeka ngezizathu ezimbili.
Owokuqala angabizwa "ukuthuthukisa inkumbulo": ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, ukukhumbula kwakhe ngenhloso kanye nemicabango ecindezelayo ngaye kunganezela imininingwane emisha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi umuntu azoyibona njengengxenye yomcimbi. Isibonelo, uma ingane ilunywe inja yomakhelwane futhi ikhuluma ngalesi sigameko kaningi, phakathi neminyaka ukulunywa okuncane kuzorekhodwa enkumbulweni yakhe ngesimo sesilonda esikhulu. Ngeshwa, ukukhulisa inkumbulo kunemiphumela yangempela: lapho lokhu kukhuliswa kukhulu, imicabango nezithombe ezicindezelayo zihlupha umuntu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, le micabango nezithombe ezingenalwazi zingajwayelana nabanolwazi.
Isizathu sesibili salokhu kuhlanekezela ukuthi abantu ngokuvamile abahlanganyeli ezenzakalweni ezibuhlungu, kodwa ofakazi. Kukhona into okuthiwa ukuhlukumezeka kofakazi. Lokhu ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo okungenzeka kumuntu obona isimo esiyingozi nesibi - kuyilapho yena ngokwakhe engasongelwa yikho.
U-Olga Makarova, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esigxile ekuhlaziyeni, ukhuluma ngokuthi lo mqondo ubaluleke kangakanani esimweni sanamuhla:
"Uma ngaphambili, ukuze uthole ukulimala okunjalo, kwakudingeka ukuba ube sendaweni ethile ngesikhathi esithile, ukuze ube ngufakazi wesigameko, khona-ke namuhla kwanele nje ukuvula okuphakelayo kwezindaba.
Kuhlale kunento embi eyenzeka emhlabeni. Nganoma yiluphi usuku lonyaka, ungabona okuthile okukushaqisayo nokukuhlukumezayo.
Ukuhlukumezeka komuntu obukele kungase kube kukhulu kakhulu futhi, ngokwamandla emizwa engemihle, ngisho nokuncintisana nokubamba iqhaza kwangempela ezenzakalweni ezibuhlungu (noma ukusondelana kwazo ngokomzimba).
Isibonelo, embuzweni othi "Ucindezeleke kangakanani esikalini sika-1 kuya ku-10 mayelana nemiphumela yokuzamazama komhlaba eJapane?" amaJapane, owayekhona ngqo endaweni yomcimbi, uzophendula ngokuthi «4». Futhi umSpain ohlala izinkulungwane zamakhilomitha kusukela ekusongweni, kodwa ohlolisise ngokuningiliziwe, ngaphansi kwengilazi ekhulisayo, imininingwane yokubhujiswa nezinhlekelele zomuntu kwabezindaba nasezinkundleni zokuxhumana, uzosho ngokungananazi ukuthi izinga lakhe lokucindezeleka ngalokhu liyi-10. .
Lokhu kungabangela ukudideka ngisho nolaka, bese kuba nesifiso sokumangalela iSpanishi evamile ngokudlala ngokweqile - bathi, kanjani, ngoba akukho lutho olusongelayo! Kodwa cha, le mizwa ingokoqobo ngempela. Futhi ukuhlukumezeka kofakazi kungathinta kakhulu isimo sengqondo nokuphila ngokujwayelekile. Futhi, lapho umuntu eba nozwela ngokwengeziwe, yilapho ehileleka ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo kunoma yini ayibonayo.”
Ngaphezu kokushaqeka, ukwesaba, ukwethuka, intukuthelo nokuphelelwa ithemba ngesikhathi sokuhlangabezana nokuqukethwe okubuhlungu, umuntu angase abhekane nemiphumela kamuva. Lokhu ukwesaba, ukudabuka okungapheli, ukuphazamiseka kwesimiso sezinzwa, izinyembezi ngaphandle kwesizathu, izinkinga zokulala.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sincoma lezi zinyathelo ezilandelayo kokubili njengokuvimbela kanye “njengokwelashwa”
Nciphisa ulwazi olungenayo (kuyathandeka ukukhetha umbhalo kuphela, ngaphandle kwezithombe namavidiyo).
Nakekela umzimba wakho (hamba, yidla, lala, uzivocavoce).
I-Containerize, okungukuthi, inqubo, imizwa (ukudweba, ukucula, ukupheka kufanelekile - ukuzilibazisa okuthandayo okusiza ezimweni ezinjalo okungcono kakhulu).
Qaphela imingcele futhi uhlukanise imizwa yakho kweyabanye. Zibuze imibuzo: ingabe yilokhu engikuzwa manje? Noma ingabe ngihlanganisa ukwesaba komunye umuntu?
Encwadini yakhe edumile ethi Sorrow and Melancholy, uFreud wagomela ngokuthi “asilokothi siyeke ngokuzithandela ukunamathelana kwethu nemizwelo: iqiniso lokuthi silahliwe alisho ukuthi siqeda ubuhlobo nalowo osishiyile.”
Kungakho sidlala isimo esifanayo ebudlelwaneni, izithombe zephrojekthi kamama nobaba kozakwethu, futhi sincike ngokomzwelo kwabanye. Izinkumbulo zobudlelwano obudlule noma abantu abahambile zingalutha futhi zithinte ubudlelwano obusha.
UVamik Volkan, uprofesa wezifo zengqondo eNyuvesi yaseVirginia, esihlokweni sakhe esithi Umsebenzi Wosizi: Ukuhlola Ubudlelwano Nokukhululwa, ubiza la mawele angokwengqondo. Ngokombono wakhe, inkumbulo yethu igcina amawele engqondo abo bonke abantu nezinto ezihlala noma ezake zahlala emhlabeni wethu. Ziqhelelene nezangempela futhi kunalokho zihlanganisa imizwa, amaphupho, kodwa zivusa imizwa yangempela kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho.
Igama likaFreud elithi "umsebenzi wosizi" lichaza indlela yokulungiswa kwangaphakathi nangaphandle okumelwe kwenziwe ngemva kokulahlekelwa noma ukwehlukana.
Kungenzeka ukuyeka ukubuyela ebudlelwaneni obudlule noma ukulangazelela abantu abahambile kuphela lapho, lapho siqonda ukuthi kungani lobu budlelwano nabantu babubaluleke kangaka. Udinga ukuwahlukanisa abe amaphazili amancane, uzicwilise ezinkumbulo futhi uwamukele njengoba enjalo.
Ngokuvamile asiphuthelwa umuntu, kodwa imizwa esayithola eduze kwakhe.
Futhi udinga ukufunda ukuzwa imizwa efanayo ngaphandle kwalo muntu.
Phakathi nezikhathi zoshintsho emhlabeni, abaningi bazivumelanisa nezinguquko ababengazilindele. Ikusasa libukeka lihlukile futhi alibikezeleki nakakhulu. Sonke sibhekana nokulahlekelwa: othile ulahlekelwa umsebenzi wakhe, ithuba lokwenza izinto zabo ezivamile nokuxhumana nabathandekayo, othile ulahlekelwa abathandekayo bakhe.
Ukubuyela esikhathini esidlule kulesi simo kuyindlela yokwelapha: esikhundleni sokubamba ukukhathazeka kokulahlekelwa ngaphakathi, kulungile kakhulu ukulila ukulahlekelwa. Bese kuba nethuba lokuqonda incazelo yalo. Ukuzinika isikhathi sokukhomba nokuqonda imizwa esiba nayo ngenxa yokulahlekelwa nosizi nokuyisho kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokufunda kokwedlule.