Okuqukethwe
Imizwa - emihle nemibi - ingasakazeka njengegciwane phakathi kwemvelo yethu. Leli qiniso liye laqinisekiswa ngokuphindaphindiwe izifundo ezihlukahlukene. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDonald Altman usitshela ukuthi ungajabula kanjani ngokwakha ukuxhumana nabantu ngendlela efanele.
Ingabe uvame ukuzizwa unesizungu, ulahliwe? Ingabe uzizwa sengathi ubuhlobo bakho abusawenzanga umqondo? “Uma kunjalo, awuwedwa,” kuqinisekisa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nowayeyindela yamaBuddha uDonald Altman. “Eqinisweni, cishe u-50% wabantu uba nesizungu futhi cishe u-40% ukholelwa ukuthi ubudlelwano babo abunanjongo.” Ngaphezu kwalokho: ingxenye kuphela yesintu ingakhuluma ngokugcwele nomuntu obalulekile nobalulekile.
Ubhadane lwesizungu
I-American World Health Organization Cigna yenza ucwaningo oluhilela abantu abangaphezu kwezinkulungwane ezingu-20 futhi yathola "ubhubhane" lwangempela lwesizungu e-United States. Ngasikhathi sinye, isizukulwane Z saphenduka isizungu kakhulu (iminyaka yobudala - kusukela eminyakeni eyi-18 kuye kwengama-22), futhi abamele "Isizukulwane Esikhulu" (72+) bahlangabezana nalo muzwa okungenani.
Ekulweni nesizungu, ukugxila komuntu kuyibhalansi yokuphila kwakhe - ukulala okugcwele, umsebenzi womzimba kanye nokuxhumana nabanye abantu. Kepha njengoba lokhu kuwudaba oluyinkimbinkimbi, u-Altman uphakamisa ukuthi ungene ujule esihlokweni futhi ufunde ocwaningweni lokuthi impilo yomphakathi iyithinta kanjani impilo yemizwa.
Imizwelo isakazeka njengegciwane
Uprofesa weSikole Sezokwelapha sase-Harvard u-Nicholas Christakis kanye noprofesa wesayensi yemvelo nenhlalo yase-University of California u-James Fowler baye bafunda ubuhlobo bomphakathi “njengamaketanga” enjabulo.
Ososayensi bahlole ukuxhumana kwabantu abangaphezu kuka-5000 nabo ababebambe iqhaza kwenye iphrojekthi eyayicwaninga ngezifo zenhliziyo. Le phrojekthi yasungulwa ngo-1948, futhi isizukulwane sesibili samalungu ayo sajoyina ngo-1971. Ngakho, abacwaningi bakwazi ukubuka inethiwekhi yokuxhumana nomphakathi iminyaka eminingana, eyanda izikhathi eziningana ngenxa yokuhlukaniswa komhlanganyeli ngamunye.
Ucwaningo lubonise ukuthi izici ezingezinhle - ukukhuluphala nokubhema - zisakazwa nge-«network» yabajwayele ngendlela efanayo nenjabulo. Abacwaningi bathole ukuthi ukuzihlalela nabantu abajabulile kwandise injabulo yethu ngo-15,3%, futhi kwandise amathuba ethu ngo-9,8% uma umuntu ojabulayo engumngane oseduze.
Ngisho nalapho ukuphila kuphuma esandleni, kusenza sibe sodwa nakakhulu, singenza umzamo wokwenza umehluko.
UDonald Altan usikhumbuza ukuthi ukusondelana kuyisici esibalulekile senjabulo. Ukuba nomngane noma isihlobo esijabule eduze kwakho ngeke kukusize ujabule uma behlala kwelinye idolobha. Ukuthintana komuntu siqu kuphela, ophilayo kusiza "ukusabalalisa" lo muzwa. Futhi ngisho nokuxhumana nge-Internet noma ocingweni akusebenzi ngendlela ephumelelayo njengokuhlangana ubuso nobuso.
Nansi imiphumela eyinhloko yezifundo ezishiwo isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo:
- ibhalansi yokuphila ibaluleke kakhulu - kanye nokuxhumana komuntu siqu;
- imizwelo ingasakazeka njengegciwane;
- isizungu asihlali njalo.
Wenezela iphuzu lokugcina elisekelwe enkolelweni yokuthi isizungu ngokuyinhloko sisekelwe ekuziphatheni kwethu nasekuphileni kwethu, okungashintshwa. Ngisho nalapho ukuphila kungalawuleki, kusishiya nesizungu nakakhulu, singenza umzamo wokwenza umehluko, okuhlanganisa ukukhetha okunengqondo ngendawo ezungezile okusithonya kakhulu isimo sethu senjabulo.
Izinyathelo ezintathu ukusuka esizungu ukuya enjabulweni
U-Altman unikeza izindlela ezintathu ezilula nezinamandla zokuletha ibhalansi ekuphileni nenjongo ebuhlotsheni.
1. Lawula imizwa yakho ngokuvumelana nomzuzu wamanje
Uma ungenakho ukulingana ngaphakathi, ngeke ukwazi ukusungula ukuxhumana okuhle nabanye. Zibandakanye ezindleleni zokuzindla noma zokucabanga ukuze uziqeqeshe ukugxilisa ingqondo yakho lapha namanje.
2. Beka eceleni isikhathi nsuku zonke sokukhulumisana komuntu siqu.
Ukuxhumana ngevidiyo, yiqiniso, kulula kakhulu, kepha akufanelekile ukuxhumana nomuntu ophelele nomuntu obalulekile kuwe. “Thatha ikhefu ledijithali futhi uchithe imizuzu eyi-10-15 unengxoxo enhle endala enenjongo,” kweluleka u-Altman.
Qaphela ukuthi indawo okuyo - ukusuka kwabezindaba ukuya kubantu bangempela - isithinta kanjani isimo sakho somzwelo. Elinye isu lokwakha ukuxhumana okuhle ukwabelana ngezindaba ezakhayo nabanye abantu. Ngokwenza lokhu, uzokhetha kakhulu usuku nosuku, ubheke izwe elikuzungezile ngendlela enhle.
"Zama lo mkhuba futhi uzoqaphela ukuthi izinyathelo ezintathu ezilula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi zizokukhulula kanjani imizwa yesizungu futhi zilethe ubudlelwano obunenjongo empilweni yakho," kufingqa uDonald Altman.
Mayelana nombhali: U-Donald Altman uyisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nombhali wenani lezincwadi, okuhlanganisa nethi Isizathu esithengiswa kakhulu! Ukuvusa ubuhlakani bokuba lapha futhi manje. ”