Izifundo Ezincane Zokubalula

Ubudlelwano nomuntu omthandayo buseduze kokuhlukana, izinto ziyaphuma ekhabetheni eligcwele abantu, abantu abangabazi abayishumi nambili bangqongqoza “kubangane” ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, asikho isikhala samahhala esisele ephepheni elinomsebenzi wokwenza. uhlu ... Uma izandla ziwela phambi kwemisebenzi eminingi, nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka kungaphezu kwamandla, ukuncintisana nolwazi lokugeleza, yisikhathi sokuletha ubulula nokucaca empilweni, ubuyekeze futhi ulahle yonke into engafaneleki.

Ukwenza ukuphila kwakho kube lula akusho ukuvumela yonke into ihambe ngendlela yayo, ubonise ukunganaki nokuthatha kalula. Lokhu kusho ukukhulula indawo yomuntu siqu, yangaphandle nangaphakathi, ukuze ekugcineni uyigcwalise ngalokho okubiza ngempela, ukugxila ezidingweni zakho, imigomo kanye namagugu. Ukuhleleka okunjalo kukuvumela ukuthi uphume esimweni sokungenzi lutho futhi uthathe umthwalo wemfanelo wokuphila.

Amathiphu ambalwa okuthi ungathola kanjani amandla phezu kwezinto, imizwa, ubudlelwano.

1. Sebenzisa “i-autopilot”

Kungabonakala sengathi izenzo eziqaphela kakhulu esizenzayo, ziba ngcono. Kodwa akunjalo. Isidingo sokuphatha ngamabomu isinyathelo ngasinye sibangela ukukhathala kwesinqumo. Leli gama laqanjwa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uRoy Baumeister waseNyuvesi yaseFlorida. Uma amandla esiwachitha ekuhleleni izenzo ephela, ingqondo izama ngazo zonke izindlela ukugwema ukwenza izinqumo ezintsha. Lokhu kuholela ekuphambeni, ukukhathala nokugula.

Indlela yokuphuma iwukuguqula iningi lemisebenzi yansuku zonke ibe umkhuba, kusho umculi nombhali we-blogger u-Yana Frank, umbhali wencwadi ethi “The Muse and the Beast. Indlela yokuhlela umsebenzi wokudala "(Mann, Ivanov noFerber, 2017). Konke esikujwayele, sikwenza ngaphandle kokubamba iqhaza kwemizwa kanye nezindleko ezincane zamandla. Unganqumi ukuthi wenze izivivinyo ekuseni, futhi uyothenga ngoMgqibelo - vele ukwenze. Uma uba nemikhuba eminingi yansuku zonke, yilapho uzokwenza kakhulu futhi uzoncipha nengcindezi. Futhi ukuze umsebenzi ube yinjwayelo, udinga ukuwenza njalo, cishe ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ezinsukwini ezingamashumi amabili, uzoshintshela ku-autopilot, ekhulula amandla akhe okudala, ukuxhumana, uthando.

2. Inselele izinkolelo zakho ezingenangqondo

Imizwa engalungile, elimazayo ivame ukusivimbela ukuba siphile - ibonakala iyimpumputhe, isiphuca amandla okulawula isimo kanye nekhono lokulandela imigomo yethu. "Okufanele ngikwenze? Thola ukuthi yiziphi izinkolelo ezingenangqondo ezibangele lo mzwelo, ziguqule zibe ezinengqondo, bese uthatha isinyathelo kuphela,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDmitry Frolov. Enye yalezi zinkolelo ifuna lokho okulindelwe wena, abanye, kanye nomhlaba (“Kumelwe ngihlale ngijabulisa abantu ngoba ngifuna”). Ukuyibekela inselele kusho ukuqonda ukuthi thina ngokwethu, noma abanye abantu, noma izwe asiphoqelekile ukuba sivumelane nezifiso zethu. Kodwa singazama ukuthonya konke lokhu ukuze izifiso zibe ngokoqobo.

Enye inkolelo ukwehla kwenani noma ukwenza izinto ngendlela efanele wena nabanye (“Ngiyisehluleki uma ngingathandwa” noma “Ngiyinsizwa eqinile uma ngithandwa”). Ukuphonsela inselelo kusho ukuqonda ukuthi wonke umuntu unezinzuzo kanye nokubi, isilinganiso sakhona esivumelanayo nesihlobene. Ukubekela inselele inkolelo yesithathu, "inhlekelele" (umbono wenkathazo njengento esabekayo yendawo yonke), kuzokusiza ukukukhumbuza ukuthi izehlakalo ezimbi ngempela ziyivelakancane futhi sinezindlela zokubhekana nazo.

Ekugcineni, ngokubekela inselele ukungabekezelelani kokukhungatheka—ukuphathwa kwezinto eziyinkimbinkimbi njengeziyinkimbinkimbi ngendlela engabekezeleleki—siyofinyelela embonweni wokuthi ziningi izigigaba eziyinkimbinkimbi emhlabeni, kodwa ayikho into engabizwa ngokuthi ayinakubekezeleleka ngempela. Ngenxa yomsebenzi onjalo, sizoba nemizwelo enempilo kaningi, sijabulele ukuphila futhi sibhekane nezinkinga kalula.

3. Lahla udoti njalo

Izingubo, izitsha, izinto eziyisikhumbuzo, imithi emidala inqwabelana ngokungaqondakali emakhabetheni nasemashalofini, kuminyene indawo futhi kuphazamisa ukuthula kwengqondo. “Gcina kuphela okuletha injabulo endlini,” kunxusa uMarie Kondo, umbhali we-KonMari Method kanye nencwadi ethi Magical Cleaning (E, 2015). Kanjani? Khipha zonke izinto emashalofini, ngayinye uyibambe ngezandla zakho. Lalela ukuze ubone ukuthi uyayivusa yini imizwa efudumele. Uma le nto ikwenza ujabule, yigcine. Lowo onquma ukuhlukana naye, ngiyabonga ngenkonzo enhle.

Izinto ezithandekayo njengenkumbulo yezenzakalo zesikhathi esidlule ngezinye izikhathi ziwumthombo oyinhloko wokuphazamiseka. U-Kondo unikeza ukuchitha isikhathi esithile nento ebalulekile kithi, ayithathe isithombe futhi avumelane neqiniso lokuthi ayisekho impilo yanamuhla.

Ukulahla konke okungadingekile, ungaqala ukubuyisela ukuhlanzeka. “Uma uhlanza, uba nokuqonda okucacile kwalokho okudingayo nokungakudingi ekuphileni, okufanele ukwenze nokungafanele ukwenze,” kuphetha yena. "Futhi susa okwesibili ngenxa yenhloko."

4. Buyela esikhathini samanje

Kungani lokhu kwenza izinto zibe lula? "Ngoba kusukela esikhathini samanje singakwazi ukuthonya impilo yangempela futhi sakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo," kusho umqeqeshi uNatalia Mozhzhanova. Kwesinye isikhathi, lapho sikhuluma nomuntu, siba nemizwa ngaye enamandla ngendlela engenakuqhathaniswa kunesimo okuthiwa yisona esibabangele.

Yenza ukuzivocavoca okulula. Bhala ephepheni igama lalo muntu kanye nemizwa onayo ngaye. Khumbula ukuthi ukukhumbuza bani, okungcono umuntu kusukela ebuntwaneni. Cabanga ukuthi bobabili laba bantu bafana kanjani: ukubukeka, ubudala, ukunyakaza, izenzo, izici zomlingiswa - bhala phansi kusuka kumaphuzu angu-5 kuya kwangu-10.

“Ngenxa yokufana, wawubonakala “ugqoka” isithombe somuntu oyedwa komunye futhi udlulisele kuye leyo mizwa,” kuchaza uchwepheshe. Ukuze ubuyele eqinisweni, cabanga ngendlela laba bantu abahluke ngayo. Nakuba lokhu kungelula, gxila ekuhlukeni ngangokunokwenzeka bese ubhala amaphuzu angu-5-10.

Ukuzivocavoca kusiza ukuhlukanisa i-interlocutor "esithombeni sesikhathi esidlule" nokuqaphela ukuthi lowo esihlangana naye manje ungumuntu ohlukile. Lokhu kunciphisa ukucindezeleka futhi kuvumela ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo.

5. Yiba “ikhothamo”

"Uma sifuna ukwehlisa impilo yethu, sidinga ukuyilayisha ngento ewusizo kakhulu," kusho i-logotherapist uSvetlana Shtukareva. - Ezikhathini zasendulo, ukuze i-arch ime ngokuqinile, umthwalo wawubekwe phezu kwawo. Kodwa impahla ayifani nodoti. Lona umgomo okufanele ufezeke, lesi isidingo somzuzu lapho sinikeza khona ukuphila impendulo enenjongo. Into elula engenziwa ukuqinisa "i-arch" ukubuka ngokucophelela nxazonke: yini ngempela okwamanje esidinga kakhulu? Kungaba izinto ezilula kakhulu, kodwa ezidingekayo okwamanje - ukucela intethelelo, ukubhaka ikhekhe, ukushintsha inabukeni yomuntu ogulayo, bheka isibhakabhaka ...

"Uma ungaphenduli, khona-ke ithuba lokufeza isidingo salo mzuzu lizofa," kuchaza uchwepheshe. "Ukungafi kwento ebalulekile kuncike kithi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yizwi noma isenzo - singanikeza ukuphila kokuthile ngokukuqaphela emkhathini." Siyazidinga lezi zinselele zencazelo, azikwenzi kube nzima ukuphila, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, gcwalisa “isikhala esikhona” (inkulumo kaViktor Frankl) ngalokho esikuthanda ngempela.