Imikhuba ecindezelayo ngezinye izikhathi yenza ukuphila kwethu kube nzima futhi kungabikezeli. Indlela yokususa izwi elisitshela ukuthi sidinga ukugeza izandla izikhathi ezingaki futhi sihlole ukuthi insimbi icishiwe yini?
Imidlalo edlalwa ingqondo ngathi kwesinye isikhathi idala ukuphazamiseka okuningi. Ukukhathazeka, imicabango ecindezelayo ithinta kakhulu ukuphila kwethu. Ngisho nokusivakashela ngezikhathi ezithile, kusenza singabaze: “Ingabe konke kuhamba kahle kimi uma ngicabanga lokhu?”
Amazwi akhathazekile ekhanda lami angitshela, uma kwenzeka, ukuthi ngimbe isikhwama sami endleleni eya emsebenzini (ngokungazelelwe ngikhohlwe iphasi lami), ngibaleke ngibuyele ekhaya - futhi uma i-ayina ingavaliwe. Noma njalo usula izandla zakho ngama-antibacterial wipes (nakuba kubhubhane lo mkhuba awubonakali ungavamile kunoma ubani) ukuze ungabambi isifo esibi.
“Ngisho nangaphambi kobhadane lwe-coronavirus, ngangesaba kakhulu ukugula,” kuvuma u-Anna, 31. – Ngigeza izandla zami izikhathi ezifinyelela kwezingama-30 ngosuku – lapho nje ngithinta itafula, incwadi, izingubo zengane, masinyane ngifuna ukuphuthuma endlini yokugezela futhi ngicishe ngizihlikihle ngetshe le-pumice. Isikhumba ezintendeni zezandla neminwe sesiqhekeze isikhathi eside, ama-creams awasasizi. Kodwa angikwazi ukuyeka...
Kodwa ungakhathazeki, abantu abaningi bahlushwa yikho ngezikhathi ezithile. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uchwepheshe wezifo ezicindezelayo u-Adam Radomsky (Canada), kanye nozakwabo benza ucwaningo ngalesi sihloko. Ithimba laxoxisana nabafundi abangu-700 abavela emhlabeni wonke, futhi u-94% walabo okwaxoxwa nabo babike ukuthi babe nemicabango ephazamisayo ezinyangeni ezintathu ezedlule. Ingabe lokho kusho ukuthi bonke badinga ukwelashwa? Cha. Kodwa udinga ukuqonda ukuthi imicabango enjalo engathandeki ibangela ukukhathazeka kuphela, kodwa futhi nemizwa yokunengeka namahloni.
Inkinga, qala!
Ngokuvamile, imicabango yokukhathazeka ayisongela, kusho uprofesa wezengqondo uStephen Hayes (University of Nevada at Reno). Izinkinga ziphakama lapho siqala ukuzithatha ngokoqobo noma sicabange ukuthi ziyingozi kuzo futhi ngokwazo. “Ngokuhlanganisa” nazo, siqala ukuzibheka njengesiqondiso sesenzo. Kuyinto eyodwa ukukhumbula ukuthi amagciwane angabangela izifo, kodwa thatha umqondo kalula. Futhi kungenye into ukugeza kahlanu ngosuku ukuze ungaguli.
Ingxenye yalabo abahlushwa imicabango ecindezelayo nabo banezinkolelo-ze, kuphawula uStephen Hayes. Futhi bebona ukuthi bacabanga ngokungenangqondo, benza ngaphansi kwethonya lemibono engenangqondo...
USergey oneminyaka engu-50 uthi: “Kudingeka ngihlole kathathu ukuthi ngiwuvalile yini umnyango wendlu. - Impela ezintathu, hhayi ngaphansi. Ngezinye izikhathi, njengoba ngisonte izihluthulelo ezikhiye kabili kuphela, ngikhohlwa ngeyesithathu. Ngikhumbula vele ngisesitolo noma endleleni ehamba ngaphansi: kufanele ngibuyele emuva ngiyohlola futhi. Uma ngingakwenzi, kuba sengathi umhlabathi uyashelela usuka ngaphansi kwezinyawo zami. Umkami uphakamise ukuthi ngimise i-alamu - sikwenzile, kodwa lokhu akungiphoxi nganoma iyiphi indlela ... "
Ukwenza impoqo akukakasizi ngokuphelele: kuyasiza ukuzola lapha futhi manje, kukhulula ukwesaba. Safika ekhaya, sabheka umenzi wekhofi ne-ayina - zihambile, hawu! Manje siyazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi siyigwemile inhlekelele. Kodwa ngenxa yalokhu, asizange sihlangane nabangane, saphuza ukufika emhlanganweni obalulekile.
Ukwenza amasiko kuthatha isikhathi, futhi ngokuvamile konakalisa ubuhlobo nabathandekayo. Phela, labo abahlushwa imicabango nezenzo ezicindezelayo bavame ukuzama "ukunamathisela" umlingani wabo kubo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma kubonakala, ukuthatheka noma isenzo sivame ukuthatha indawo eyengeziwe ekuphileni kwethu. Futhi kufanele ugeze izandla zakho kaningi, ususe izinhlayiya zothuli ezingekho ejazini lakho, ulahle udoti, uhlole kabili izingidi. Silahlekelwa ukuthula kwengqondo - futhi ngolunye usuku siyaqonda ukuthi ngeke kuqhubeke kanje.
Yiqiniso, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zisebenza kangcono ngezindaba ezinjalo. Kodwa kukhona ezinye izinto ongazenza ukuze usize unqobe imicabango nempoqo.
1. Bhekana nezwi elikutshela ukuthi wenzeni
Lapho sigajwe imicabango ecindezelayo, kuba sengathi umashiqela ongabonakali uyala ukuthi kufanele kwenziwe kanjani futhi kanjani. Futhi uma ungalandeli "izincomo", ukubuyisela ngendlela yokukhathazeka nokwesaba kuzofika ngaso leso sikhathi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani, zama ukuziqhelelanisa, bheka lezi zidingo njengokungathi ungaphandle. Ubani okhuluma nawe? Kungani idinga ukuba kuthathwe isinyathelo ngokushesha? Ingabe kuyadingeka ukulalela leli zwi – phela awuqondi nokuthi ngelikabani?
Ungakwazi ukwehlisa ijubane ngaphambi kokuhlola futhi ukuze ubone ukuthi usicishile yini isitofu. Yima kancane uzame ukuphila phakathi nokukhathazeka okuzwayo njengamanje. Phatha imizwa engathandeki ngomusa nangelukuluku lokufuna ukwazi. Ungajahi ukwenza ojwayele ukukwenza. Khumbula ukuthi izwi ekhanda lakho elikutshela ukuthi ugeze izandla akulona wena. Yebo, uphila engqondweni yakho, kodwa wena awuyena owakhe.
Ngokwehlisa ijubane, ngokuzimisa okwamanje, udala igebe phakathi kokuthatheka kanye nesenzo esisidingayo kuwe. Futhi ngenxa yalesi khefu, umqondo wokwenza isiko uphinde uphelelwe amandla kancane, kuchaza uStephen Hayes.
2. Shintsha umbhalo
Ngokufunda ukuyeka, ukumisa isikhashana phakathi komfutho nesenzo, ungazama ukushintsha imithetho yomdlalo. Dala "esinye isimo" - ungasiguquleli sibe umdlalo omusha, kusho uStephen Hayes. Kwenziwa kanjani? Uma sikhuluma ngokwesaba amagciwane, ungazama okwamanje lapho ubanjwe isifiso sokugeza izandla ngokushesha, ngokuphambene nalokho, uzingcolise emhlabathini.
Ezimweni eziningi, ungenzi lutho. Isibonelo, hlala embhedeni uma ufuna ukuhlola futhi uma uvale umnyango ebusuku. Ngokuvamile, udinga ukwenza ngokuphambene nalokho - ngokuphambene nalokho okudingwa "izwi ngaphakathi". Lokhu kuzosiza ukuvikela ilungelo lokuziphilela, impilo yokuzimela. Ugcwele futhi ujabule – ngisho namagciwane awakwazi ukukuvimba.