Okuqukethwe
“Sengiqedile, ngizophumelela”, “ukuthi ngiwenze kahle kangakanani lo msebenzi.” Asizimisele kakhulu ukusho amazwi anjalo kithi, ngoba ngokuvamile sivame ukuzithethisa ngaphezu kokuzincoma thina. Futhi njalo ukufuna imiphumela engcono kakhulu. Yini esivimbela ukuba sizikholelwe futhi siziqhenye ngempumelelo yethu?
Lapho ngibuza imibuzo ngiseyingane, ngangivame ukuzwa kubazali bami: “Kusobala lokhu!” noma “Ebudaleni bakho, kakade udinga ukwazi lokhu,” kukhumbula uVeronika oneminyaka engu-37 ubudala. - Ngiyesaba ukubuza okuthile futhi, ukuze ngibonakale ngiyisiphukuphuku. Nginamahloni ukuthi kungenzeka ngingazi okuthile."
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, uVeronica unemfundo ephakeme emibili emthwalweni wakhe, manje uthola okwesithathu, ufunda kakhulu futhi ufunda okuthile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Yini evimba uVeronica ukuthi azibonakalise ukuthi umfanele? Impendulo iwukungazethembi. Siyithola kanjani futhi kungani siyithwala empilweni, kusho izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo.
Kwakheka kanjani ukuzethemba okuphansi?
Ukuzethemba isimo sethu sengqondo endleleni esizibona ngayo: ukuthi singobani, yini esingayenza nesingakwazi ukuyenza. “Ukuzethemba kuyakhula ebuntwaneni lapho, ngosizo lwabantu abadala, sifunda ukuziqonda, ukuqaphela ukuthi singobani,” kuchaza u-Anna Reznikova, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esigxile ekwelapheni isikhathi esifushane okusekelwe ekuxazululeni. "Yile ndlela isithombe sakho esakheka ngayo engqondweni."
Kodwa njengoba abazali bevame ukuzithanda izingane zabo, kungani ngokuvamile singazazisi? "Ebuntwaneni, abantu abadala baba abaqondisi bethu emhlabeni, futhi ngokokuqala ngqa sithola umbono wokulungile nokungalungile kubo, futhi ngokuhlolwa: uma ukwenze ngale ndlela, kuhle, uma ukwenzile. kuhlukile, kubi! kuqhuba udokotela wengqondo. "I-evaluation factor ngokwayo idlala ihlaya elinonya."
Lesi yisitha esikhulu sokuzamukela kwethu, izenzo zethu, ukubukeka kwethu ... Asintuli ukuhlolwa okuhle, kodwa ukwamukela thina kanye nezenzo zethu: kungaba lula ukwenza izinqumo ngakho, kungaba lula ukuzama okuthile, ukuhlola. . Lapho sinomuzwa wokuthi samukelwe, asesabi ukuthi okuthile ngeke kuphumelele.
Siyakhula, kodwa ukuzethemba akukhuli
Ngakho-ke siyakhula, sibe abantu abadala futhi … siqhubeke nokuzibheka ngeso labanye. “Yile ndlela indlela yokufundisa esebenza ngayo: esikufunda ezihlotsheni zethu noma kubantu abadala ababalulekile ebuntwaneni kubonakala kuyiqiniso, futhi asilingabazi leli qiniso,” kuchaza u-Olga Volodkina, isazi sokuguga. - Lena yindlela izinkolelo ezikhawulelayo eziphakama ngayo, ezibizwa nangokuthi "umgxeki wangaphakathi".
Siyakhula futhi ngokungazi sisahlobanisa izenzo zethu nendlela abantu abadala abangasabela ngayo kukho. Abasekho, kodwa izwi sengathi liyaphenduka ekhanda lami, elihlale lingikhumbuza lokhu.
UNina oneminyaka engu-42 ubudala uthi: “Wonke umuntu uthi ngiyi-photogenic, kodwa kimi kubonakala sengathi abangane bami abafuni ukungicasula. - Ugogo wayelokhu ekhononda ngokuthi ngiwona uhlaka, bese ngimamatheka ngendlela engafanele, bese ngima endaweni engafanele. Ngibheka izithombe zami, kokubili ebuntwaneni futhi manje, futhi ngempela, hhayi ubuso, kodwa uhlobo oluthile lwe-grimace, ngibheka okungezona ezemvelo, njengesilwane esigxiliwe! Izwi likagogo lisavimbela uNina okhangayo ekujabuleleni ukuma phambi komthwebuli wezithombe.
UVitaly oneminyaka engu-43 uthi: “Ngangihlale ngifaniswa nomzala wami. izinto eziningi. Kodwa impumelelo yami ayizange inakwe. Abazali babehlale befuna okunye okwengeziwe.”
Umgxeki wangaphakathi udla izinkumbulo ezinjalo. Ikhula kanye nathi. Kusuka ebuntwaneni, lapho abantu abadala besihlazisa, besihlazisa, besiqhathanisa, besola, besigxeka. Khona-ke uqinisa isikhundla sakhe ebusheni. Ngokocwaningo lwe-VTsIOM, yonke intombazane yeshumi eneminyaka engu-14-17 ikhononda ngokuntula ukunconywa nokuvunyelwa abantu abadala.
Lungisa amaphutha esikhathi esidlule
Uma isizathu sokunganeliseki kwethu ngokwethu yindlela abadala bethu ababesiphatha ngayo ebuntwaneni, mhlawumbe singasilungisa manje? Kungasiza yini uma thina esibadala manje sibonisa abazali bethu esikuzuzile futhi sifune ukuhlonishwa?
U-Igor oneminyaka engu-34 akazange aphumelele: “Phakathi namakilasi nodokotela wokusebenza kwengqondo, ngakhumbula ukuthi ubaba wayevame ukungibiza ngesiphukuphuku ngiseyingane,” esho, “ngangisaba nokuya kuye uma kudingeka. usizo ngomsebenzi wesikole. Bengicabanga ukuthi kuzoba lula uma ngimtshela konke. Kodwa kwavela ngenye indlela: Ngezwa kuye ukuthi kuze kube manje ngisalokhu ngiyi-blockhead. Futhi kwaba kubi kakhulu kunalokho engangikulindele.”
Akusizi ukukhononda kulabo, ngokubona kwethu, abanecala lokungavikeleki kwethu. “Asikwazi ukuzishintsha,” kugcizelela u-Olga Volodkina. “Kodwa sinamandla okuguqula isimo sethu sengqondo mayelana nezinkolelo ezinomkhawulo. Sesikhulile futhi, uma sifisa, singafunda ukuyeka ukuzehlisa, sandise ukubaluleka kwezifiso nezidingo zethu, sibe ukusekelwa kwethu, lowo muntu omdala onombono wakhe obalulekile kithi.”
Ukuzigxeka, ukuzehlisa isithunzi kuyisigxobo esisodwa. Okuphambene wukuzincoma ngaphandle kokubheka amaqiniso. Umsebenzi wethu awukona ukusuka kokudlulele kuye kokunye, kodwa ukugcina ibhalansi nokugcina ukuxhumana neqiniso.