Okuqukethwe
- Abazali: Ingabe unenkumbulo yomagazini Wabazali?
- Zazibhekwa kanjani izingane ngaleso sikhathi?
- Abazali baye bavela kanjani?
- Ingabe lokhu kuyinto elahlekile manje? Ngabe asilahlekelwanga yini “indawo yemvelo” yethu, engase ibe seduze nomndeni omkhulu?
- Ungabasiza kanjani abazali?
- Uphikelela ukuthi izingane zingabheki noma yiziphi izikrini kuze kube yiminyaka engu-3, kodwa kuthiwani ngabazali? Ingabe nabo kufanele bayeke?
- Mayelana nodlame olujwayelekile lwezemfundo, umthetho wokushaya waphasiswa - ngobunzima - ngonyaka odlule, kodwa ingabe kwanele?
- Uma sibheka eminyakeni engamashumi amahlanu kusukela manje, singacabanga ukuthi abazali bayoba njani?
U-Boris Cyrulnik uyi-neuropsychiatrist kanye nochwepheshe ekuziphatheni komuntu. Usihlalo wekomidi lochwepheshe mayelana "nezinsuku zokuqala eziyi-1000 zengane", wahambisa umbiko kuMongameli weRiphabhulikhi ekuqaleni kukaSeptemba, okwaholela ekwandeni kwekhefu lokubeletha libe yizinsuku ezingu-28. Ubheka emuva nathi eminyakeni engamashumi amahlanu efunda izixhumanisi zomzali nengane.
Abazali: Ingabe unenkumbulo yomagazini Wabazali?
U-Boris Cyrulnik: Eminyakeni engamashumi amahlanu yokuprakthiza, ngiye ngayifunda kaningi ukuze ngibone kokubili izinkinga abazali ababhekene nazo futhi ngifunde izihloko ezikhuluma ngentuthuko yakamuva yezokwelapha noma yomphakathi ezungeze umndeni noma izingane. Ngaphenywa lapho izikhathi ezimbili noma ezintathu, isikhathi ngasinye phakathi nentuthuko yezokwelapha. Ngokuphawulekayo ngo-1983, lapho siqala ukubonisa ukuthi umntwana wayekwazi ukuzwa amaza aphansi esibelethweni sikamama kusukela ngeviki lama-27 le-amenorrhea *. Kufanele uqaphele ukuthi ngaleso sikhathi, kwakunezinguquko! Lokhu kwaphazamisa abantu abaningi ingane, kuze kube ikhuluma, ingaqondi lutho.
Zazibhekwa kanjani izingane ngaleso sikhathi?
BC : Akuningi noma ngaphansi kwamapheshana okugaya. Kufanele uqaphele: phakathi nezifundo zami zasenyuvesi, safundiswa ukuthi umntwana akakwazi ukuhlupheka ngenxa yokuthi (okucatshangwa ukuthi) iziphetho zemizwa yakhe zazingakaqedi ukukhula kwazo (!). Kuze kube yiminyaka yama-80s nama-90s, izingane zazingakwazi ukuhamba futhi zihlinzwe ngaphandle kokubulala izinzwa. Phakathi nezifundo zami kanye nezomkami naye owayengudokotela, sanciphisa ukuphuka, ukuthungwa noma ukukhipha amathoni ezinganeni ezingaphansi konyaka owodwa ngaphandle kokubulala izinzwa. Ngenhlanhla, izinto seziguquke kakhulu: eminyakeni eyi-10 edlule, ngenkathi ngithatha umzukulu wami ngiyothunga i-arch, umhlengikazi wamcindezela ukuba ndikindiki ngaphambi kokuba umfundi oqeqeshelwa umsebenzi eze ukuzothunga. Isiko lezokwelapha nalo liye lavela: isibonelo, abazali babenqatshelwe ukuza ukuzobona izingane lapho zilaliswe esibhedlela, futhi manje sibona amakamelo amaningi lapho abazali bengahlala khona. Akukabi yi-100%, kuncike ku-pathology, kodwa saqonda ukuthi usana olusanda kuzalwa ludinga kakhulu ukuba khona kwesibalo sokunamathiselwe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngumama noma ubaba.
Abazali baye bavela kanjani?
BC : Eminyakeni engamashumi amahlanu edlule, abesifazane babenezingane ngaphambili. Kwakungavamile ukuthi owesifazane abe vele engumama eneminyaka engu-50 noma engu-18. Futhi umehluko manje ukuthi wayengekho yedwa. Umama osemncane wayezungezwe ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo umndeni wakhe, owamsiza, wenza njenge-relay.
Ingabe lokhu kuyinto elahlekile manje? Ngabe asilahlekelwanga yini “indawo yemvelo” yethu, engase ibe seduze nomndeni omkhulu?
BC : Yebo. Sibona, ikakhulukazi ngenxa yomsebenzi kaClaude de Tychey, ukuthi kunokucindezeleka “kwangaphambi komama” okungaphezu kwalokho ngemva kokuzalwa. Kungani ? Okunye okucatshangelwayo ukuthi umama onengane manje uneminyaka engu-30 ubudala, uhlala kude nomndeni wakhe futhi uzithola ehlukaniswe ngokuphelele. Uma ingane yakhe izalwa, akazazi izenzo zokuncela ibele - isikhathi esiningi akakaze abone umntwana ebeleni ngaphambi kwengane yakhe yokuqala - ugogo akekho ngoba uhlala kude futhi unemisebenzi yakhe , uyise ahambe. yena yedwa ukuthi abuyele emsebenzini. Kuwudlame olukhulu kakhulu kumama omncane. Umphakathi wethu, njengoba uhlelekile, awuyona into evikela umama osemncane… ngakho-ke enganeni. Umama ucindezeleka kakhulu kusukela ekuqaleni kokukhulelwa. Sesivele sibona imiphumela e-United States nase-Japan lapho izingane zingama-40% okufanele zigcizelelwe. Ngakho-ke isidingo, ngokomsebenzi we-1000 Days Commission, ukushiya ithuba lokuba ubaba ahlale eduze nomama isikhathi eside. (Inothi lomhleli: Yilokhu okwanqunywa uMongameli Macron ngokwelula ikhefu lobaba libe yizinsuku ezingama-28, noma ngabe ikhomishini yezinsuku eziyi-1000 iphakamise amasonto ayi-9.
Ungabasiza kanjani abazali?
BC : Saqala ikhomishini yezinsuku eziyi-1000 yokuhlangana nombhangqwana wabazali bakusasa. Kithina asikwazi ukuba nentshisekelo kubazali lapho ukukhulelwa sekuvele kusendleleni ngoba cishe sekudlule isikhathi. Kumelwe sinakekele umbhangqwana wabazali besikhathi esizayo, sibazungeze futhi sibanikeze usizo ngisho nangaphambi kwecebo lomntwana. Umama ongahlali yedwa ngeke ajabule. Ngeke akujabulele ukuhlala nengane yakhe. Uzokhulela endaweni empofu yezinzwa. Lokhu kuholela ekunamathiselwe okungavikelekile okuzokhubaza kakhulu ingane kamuva, lapho ingena enkulisa noma esikoleni. Ngakho-ke kuyaphuthuma ukusiza abesifazane abakhulelwe, babazungeze, ngoba yizingane ezizohlomula ngakho. KuKhomishini singathanda ukuthi obaba babe khona kakhulu emindenini, ukuze kube nokwabelana kangcono kwemithwalo yemfanelo yabazali. Lokhu ngeke kuthathe indawo yomndeni owandisiwe, kodwa kuzokhipha umama ekubeni yedwa. Ulaka olukhulu ukuhlukaniswa komama.
Uphikelela ukuthi izingane zingabheki noma yiziphi izikrini kuze kube yiminyaka engu-3, kodwa kuthiwani ngabazali? Ingabe nabo kufanele bayeke?
BC : Ngempela, manje sibona ngokucacile ukuthi ingane evezwe ezikrinini eziningi izoba nokubambezeleka kolimi, ukubambezeleka kwentuthuko, kodwa futhi kungenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile, lo mntwana ngeke azibheke yena. . Sakufakazela, emuva ngeminyaka yawo-80s, ukuthi ingane eyayibukwa uyise noma unina ngenkathi incela ibhodlela yayincela kakhulu nangcono. Esikuqaphelayo ukuthi uma ubaba noma umama echitha isikhathi sakhe ebuka umakhalekhukhwini wakhe esikhundleni sokubheka ingane, ingane ayisakwazi ukushukunyiswa ngokwanele. Lokhu kuzodala izinkinga zokulungisa kwabanye: nini ukukhuluma, kuliphi iphimbo. Lokhu kuzoba nemiphumela empilweni yakhe yesikhathi esizayo, esikoleni, nakwabanye.
Mayelana nodlame olujwayelekile lwezemfundo, umthetho wokushaya waphasiswa - ngobunzima - ngonyaka odlule, kodwa ingabe kwanele?
BC : Cha, ubufakazi obugqama kakhulu ukuthi umthetho wodlame lwasemndenini usunesikhathi eside ukhona, nokuthi udlame lusekhona kwabashadile, luyanda ngisho nokucwasa ngokobulili kwanda. Nokho, ukuhlola kuye kwabonisa ukuthi ingane ebuka ubudlova phakathi kwabazali bayo iyobona ukukhula kobuchopho bayo kushintsha ngokuphelele. Kuyafana nodlame olwenziwa enganeni, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubudlova obungokomzimba noma ngamazwi (ukululazeka, njll.). Manje siyazi ukuthi lezi zimo zengqondo zinemiphumela ebuchosheni. Yebo, kwakudingekile ukwenqabela le mikhuba, kodwa manje, kumelwe sizungeze abazali futhi sibafundise ukubasiza ukuba benze okuhlukile. Akulula uma ukhuliswe ngodlame ngokwakho, kodwa okuhle wukuthi uma usuluyekile udlame, waphinde wasungula ubuhlobo obuphephile nengane yakho. , ubuchopho bakhe - obukhiqiza ama-synapse amaningi amasha njalo ngomzuzwana - buyakwazi ukufometha ngokuphelele, phakathi kwamahora angu-24 kuya kwangu-48. Kuyaduduza kakhulu, ngoba konke kungabuyiselwa. Ukukubeka kalula, izingane kulula ukulimaza, kodwa futhi kulula ukulungisa.
Uma sibheka eminyakeni engamashumi amahlanu kusukela manje, singacabanga ukuthi abazali bayoba njani?
BC : Eminyakeni engamashumi amahlanu, umuntu angacabanga ukuthi abazali bazozihlela ngendlela ehlukile. Ukusizana ngokuhlanganyela kufanele kubuyiswe emiphakathini yethu. Kulokhu, kumelwe sithathe isibonelo samazwe asenyakatho, njengeFinland lapho abazali bezihlela khona. Bakha amaqembu anobungane abesifazane abakhulelwe nezingane futhi bayasizana. Singacabanga ukuthi eFrance, la maqembu azothatha indawo yomndeni owandisiwe. Omama babekwazi ukuletha odokotela bezingane, ababelethisi, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo emaqenjini abo ukuze bafunde izinto. Kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke, izingane zingakhuthazeka kakhulu futhi abazali bazozizwa besekelwe futhi besekelwa umphakathi ongokomzwelo obazungezile. Yilokho engikufunayo noma kunjalo!
* Umsebenzi ka-Marie-Claire Busnel, umcwaningi kanye nochwepheshe we-intrauterine life, e-CNRS.