Indlela yokumisa ukugeleza kwemicabango engemihle

Uma wena, njengabantu abaningi, uvame ukuhlala emicabangweni engalungile, kufanele uzame indlela endala elula kodwa ephumelelayo ehlongozwe isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nodokotela ongumBuddha uDavid Altman.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyathanda noma singathandi, sonke siyalenga emicabangweni engemihle ngezikhathi ezithile. Izwi elingaphakathi ngokuzumayo liqala ukusitshela ukuthi asihlakaniphe ngokwanele, asiphumelelanga ngokwanele, noma kufanele sibe kanjena...

Ukuzama ukubalekela noma ukuphika le micabango kuthatha amandla amaningi. Ungalwa nabo impi yengqondo kuze kube phakade, kodwa ekugcineni bazobuya, bangabi mnandi nakakhulu futhi bangene.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo kanye nowayeyindela yamaBuddha uDonald Altman ubhale izincwadi ezimbalwa ezithengiswa kakhulu lapho esiza khona ukusebenzisa imikhuba yaseMpumalanga yokucabangela ukubhekana nezinye zezinkinga ezivame kakhulu thina baseNtshonalanga esibhekana nazo.

Ikakhulukazi, uphakamisa ukusebenzisa isu elithi «i-jiu-jitsu endala enhle» futhi uphendule imicabango engalungile ekhanda labo ngesenzo esilula. Lokhu kuvivinya ingqondo kungafingqwa ngegama elilodwa: ukubonga.

“Uma lelo gama likwenza ulale, ake ngikunikeze idatha yocwaningo engase ikumangaze,” kubhala u-Altman.

Lolu cwaningo lubonise ukuthi umkhuba ojwayelekile wokubonga uphumelela kakhulu futhi uholela emiphumeleni elandelayo:

  • ukwanda kokwaneliseka empilweni,
  • kukhona inqubekelaphambili ekufinyeleleni imigomo yomuntu siqu,
  • izinga lokucindezeleka liyehla, isimo sokucindezeleka sincipha,
  • abantu abasha bakhulisa ukunaka, umdlandla, ukubekezela kanye nekhono lokugxila,
  • kuba lula ukugcina oxhumana nabo, ukuzimisela ukusiza nokweseka abanye kuyanda,
  • ukugxila kokunaka nokulinganisa impumelelo kudluliselwa kusuka ezintweni ezibonakalayo kuya kumagugu angokomoya, izinga lomona wabanye liyehla,
  • isimo sengqondo esihle sihlala isikhathi eside, kukhona umuzwa wokuxhumana nabanye abantu, umbono wempilo uba nethemba ngokwengeziwe,
  • ezigulini ezinezifo ze-neuromuscular, ikhwalithi nobude bokulala buthuthuka.

Indaba kaJerry

U-Altman ubiza yonke le miphumela kuphela njengesihloko se-iceberg. Lapho ekhuluma ngemiphumela emihle yomkhuba wokubonga, umelaphi usebenzisa isibonelo seklayenti lakhe, uJerry.

UJerry wayenesimo esinzima somkhaya: umkhulu wakhe wayehlale ehlala ezibhedlela zabagula ngengqondo, futhi unina kwatholakala ukuthi unokucindezeleka okukhulu. Lokhu akukwazanga kodwa ukuthinta imizwelo kaJerry kanye nencazelo ehlukile ngaye: "Nginofuzo lokuthambekela ekucindezelekeni, futhi akukho engingakwenza ngakho."

Umelaphi wasikisela uJerry umkhuba wokubonga nsuku zonke, futhi ngemva kwesikhashana bobabili baphawula izinguquko ezinhle eziphawulekayo engqondweni nasempilweni yendoda, ekugcineni yaba yitshe legumbi lezinguquko ekuboneni kwakhe nesimo sengqondo ezenzakalweni zokuphila.

U-Altman ukhumbula usuku lapho iklayenti lakhe lithi, "Yebo, ngiba nezikhathi zokucindezeleka, kodwa ngiyakwazi ukubhekana nazo ngokuzijwayeza ukubonga." Kwakukhona ukuzethemba okukhulu nethemba kulawa mazwi kunangaphambili, futhi ukuguquguquka okuhle okunjalo kwenzeka ngokwengxenye enkulu ngenxa yamakhono okubonga atholwe.

Ukuzijwayeza Ukunaka Okunengqondo

Ukuzijwayeza ukubonga kuqeqesha ukunaka kwethu ngendlela eqondile. Ngokwesibonelo, sivame ukugxila kulokho okushodayo noma okungahambi kahle ekuphileni kwethu, siziqhathanise nabanye. Kodwa kusemandleni ethu ukuthi siphendulele ukunaka kwethu kokuhle nokuhle okwenzeka kithi noma okusizungezile.

Kungani ibaluleke kangaka? Ngokuqaphela lokho esingabonga ngakho, sihlakulela indlela ehlukile yokuphila nezimo ezihlukahlukene. Ngokulandelayo, lokhu akushintshi nje kuphela isiqondiso sokucabanga nokuziphatha, kodwa futhi kusiza ukwakha umkhuba osekelayo, oqinisekisa ukuphila kwekusasa.

Hlala lapha futhi manje

Sijwayele ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi silindile — singena ku-inthanethi, sibuka izinhlelo zezemidlalo, izinhlelo ze-TV zokuzijabulisa, njalo njalo. Ukubonga kusifaka ngokoqobo esikhathini samanje, ngoba kudinga ukuhlanganyela okusebenzayo. Sidinga nje ukuba sesikhathini samanje ukuze sizwe ukuthi singakubonga ngani.

Lokhu kunikeza umuzwa wokuxhumana okuqinile neqiniso kanye nombono onethemba ngomphumela wezenzo zethu. Ukubonga kusiza ukwakha ukuqina ngoba sigxila kokuhle.

Izindlela ezintathu ezilula zokuzijwayeza ukubonga

Kulabo abathanda lo mkhuba, uDonald Altman unikeza izincomo eziqondile kakhulu.

1. Qaphela futhi uchaze njengamanje lokho okubonga ngakho. Isibonelo: "Ngiyabonga nge- _____ ngoba _____." Ukucabanga ngezizathu zokubonga kusiza ukujula kulesi sihloko.

2. Yenza uhlu lokubonga kwakho kosuku. Thola inkomishi ethi "Ngiyabonga" bese ufake uhlamvu lwemali kuyo ngokuqwashisa ngakunye kwalo muzwa. Noma bhala amagama ambalwa ephepheni mayelana nokuthi yini ofuna ukuthi ngiyabonga ngayo. Ekupheleni kwesonto, hlola i-piggy bank yakho futhi uqaphele ukuthi zingaki ukubonga osuziqongelele.

3. Yabelana nabanye ngemizwa yakho. Batshele ngalo mkhuba nokuthi yini obonga ngayo ngalolu suku. Lena indlela enhle yokuqinisa ukuxhumana kwakho nabanye.

Zama ukwenza lokhu isonto lonke, kodwa ungaphindi ukubonga okufanayo ngezinsuku ezahlukene. Qondisa ukunaka kwakho endaweni enhle, futhi uzobona ukuthi kungakanani empilweni yakho ofuna ukubonga ngakho.

shiya impendulo