Umiselwe impilo ende ethokozisayo kanye nesithandwa sakho. Kodwa abaqiniseki ngokuphelele ngokungathí sina nokujula kwesimo sakhe sengqondo ngawe. Yiziphi izimpawu ezizobonisa ukuthi umuzwa oqotho kumngane wakho awukapheli? Ilandiswa ngumbhali uWendy Patrick.
Cishe usuwudlalile lo mdlalo okungenani kanye: uhleli nomngane wakho ekhefi bese uzama ukuthola ukuthi hlobo luni lobudlelwano izithandani ezinabo ematafuleni angomakhelwane. Isibonelo, laba ababili efasiteleni abazange bavule ngisho imenyu - bathandana kakhulu kangangokuthi abakhumbuli nokuthi kungani beze lapha. Ama-smartphones abo aphushelwa eceleni, okubavumela ukuthi basondelane futhi baxhumane ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka. Lokhu mhlawumbe usuku lwabo lokuqala noma ukuqala kobudlelwano bothando…
Ngokuphambene kakhulu nalaba abanenhlanhla, kunombhangqwana osukhulile oseduze nekhishi (mhlawumbe bajahile futhi bafuna ukusheshe uthole ukudla kwabo). Abakhulumisani kubukeka sengathi abazani yize behlezi eduze kwabo. Kungacatshangwa ukuthi sebeshade isikhathi eside, bobabili bangezwa kahle futhi bakhululekile ekuthuleni (incazelo eningi kakhulu!). Noma babhekene nesikhathi esinzima ebudlelwaneni njengamanje. Ngendlela, bangase bangabi namafoni etafuleni, kodwa ngesizathu esihlukile: abasalindeli izingcingo nemilayezo emsebenzini, futhi abangane abangavamile abajahi ukuzikhumbuza.
Nokho, lo mbhangqwana osukhulile ungase ube nesithakazelo esikhulu kuwe, ikakhulukazi uma usebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Ungancika bese uhlebela ohamba naye, "Ake siqinisekise ukuthi lokhu akwenzeki kithi." Kodwa wazi kanjani ukuthi uhamba ngendlela efanele? Nawa amanye amathiphu azokusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi iqotho futhi ijule kangakanani imizwa yomlingani wakho.
Intshisekelo yangempela nengapheli
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi senibe ndawonye izinyanga ezimbili noma iminyaka emibili, umlingani wakho unentshisekelo yangempela kulokho okucabangayo, ofuna ukukusho, noma enizokwenza. Kubaluleke kakhulu kuye ukuthi uphuphani futhi unethemba ngani, ngaphezu kwalokho, uzokwenza imizamo yokwenza izifiso zakho zifezeke.
Ucwaningo lukaSandra Langeslag nozakwabo lubonisa ukuthi abantu abakuthandayo banesithakazelo kunoma yiluphi ulwazi oluhlobene nempilo yakho, ngisho nemininingwane engasho lutho. Ngemva kokufunda lolu lwazi, bakhumbula yonke into. Uchaza ukuthi injabulo ehambisana nothando lothando inomthelela omkhulu ezinqubweni zokuqonda.
Nakuba abahlanganyeli bocwaningo babethandana isikhathi esifushane, ababhali basikisela ukuthi inkumbulo enjalo nokuqina kokunaka kungase kungenzeki kuphela ekuqaleni, isigaba sothando. USandra Langeslag nozakwabo bakholelwa ukuthi labo balingani asebeneminyaka eminingi beshadile futhi benothando olujulile ngomunye nomunye futhi babonisa ukunaka ulwazi oluhlobene nomuntu othandekayo wabo, kuphela indlela ehlukile lapho.
Ozakwethu abaqaphelayo babonisa ukuzibophezela kwabo ngokubonisa ukukhathalela kwangempela ngempilo yakho ngaphandle kwekhaya.
Njengoba ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside akuseyona isasasa eliza kuqala, kodwa umuzwa wothando nokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlangene, yilokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okuqoqiwe okudlala indima ebalulekile ekuthakaseleni ulwazi ngomngane womshado.
Omunye umbuzo ukuthi ozakwethu baluchitha kanjani lolu lwazi olutholiwe. Lokhu kubonisa ubuhlobo babo bangempela komunye nomunye. Umuntu onothando unentshisekelo yokukwenza ujabule. Usebenzisa ulwazi ngawe (okuthandayo, kusukela kwezokuzilibazisa kuye emculweni kuya ekudleni okuyintandokazi) ukuze akujabulise futhi ajabule nawe.
Ozakwethu abaqaphile ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside bakhombisa ukuzibophezela ngokuba yingxenye yempilo yakho ngaphandle kwekhaya. Bafuna ukwazi ukuthi ingxoxo enzima nomphathi ihambe kanjani kuleli sonto, noma uma ujabulele iseshini nomqeqeshi omusha. Babuza ngabangani nozakwenu ababazi ngamagama ngoba benentshisekelo kuwe nempilo yakho.
Izivumo Zothando
Umlingani ophindaphinda njalo ukuthi ube nenhlanhla kanjani ukuhlangana nawe futhi ahlale nawe, cishe, yile ndlela azizwa ngayo. Lokhu kuncoma kuhlale kubalulekile, kukhomba ukuthi usakuthanda. Sicela uqaphele ukuthi lokhu kuhlonishwa akuhlobene nendlela obukeka ngayo, yimaphi amathalente ophiwe wona, noma ngabe konke kuphuma ezandleni zakho namuhla noma cha. Lokhu kumayelana nawe njengomuntu - futhi lokhu ukuncoma okuhle kakhulu.
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Njengoba kunikezwe zonke lezi zimpawu ezingenhla, kulula kakhulu ukuqonda ukuthi umlingani usakuthanda. Kodwa izindaba ezinde zothando, ukutuswa nokuzinikela azivamile ukuba ngengozi. Ngokuvamile, babonisa imizamo eqotho yabo bobabili abalingani ukugcina ubudlelwano obunempilo. Futhi indima enkulu kulokhu kunakekelwa ngokucophelela kwenyunyana yakho idlalwa isithakazelo, ukunaka, ukuvunyelwa nokuhlonipha omunye nomunye.
Mayelana Nombhali: UWendy Patrick ungumbhali we-Red Flags: How to Recognize Friends, Saboteurs, and Ruthless People.