Okuqukethwe
Kwenzeka ukuthi imizwa isikhukhule ngokoqobo, silahlekelwe ukulawula phezu kwayo (ngakho-ke phezu kwethu) futhi sigijimele ngesivinini esigcwele emadwaleni angokomzwelo. Sabelana ngamasu azokusiza ukuthi ubuyele ekhanda.
Intukuthelo, ukwethuka, ukukhathazeka, ubuhlungu bengqondo, intukuthelo yokulahlekelwa, ukulangazelela abalahlekile, ukudabuka - le mizwa neminye eminingi ingazibonakalisa ngamandla angavamile, ikukhubaze. Mhlawumbe uvuka nenye yale mizwa, noma ikugcina uphapheme, ikuvimbele ekwenzeni isinqumo esibalulekile, noma kufanele uhlale uphikisa ukuze ubalekele kuso. Kuzo zonke izimo, okuhlangenwe nakho okunamandla kunqoba ukuphila.
Imizwa ingabangane bethu kuphela, kodwa futhi ibe yizitha zethu ezimbi kakhulu.
Abaningi bakhulela emikhayeni lapho kwakuwumkhuba ukululaza noma ukunganaki ukubaluleka kwemizwelo, ukudebeselela izidingo ezingokomzwelo zomntwana. Uma kwakungaxoxwa ngemizwa ngokukhululekile, sasingenalo ithuba lokufunda indlela yokubhekana nayo nokusabela ngendlela efanele kuyo.
Ngenxa yalokhu, lapho sebekhulile, abaningi bathambekele ezinkingeni ezingokomzwelo: noma yonke imizwa iba buthuntu, noma, ngokuphambene, isivunguvungu esingokomzwelo siqubuka ngezikhathi ezithile, okunzima ukubhekana naso.
Kungani sidinga imizwa?
Banikezwa kithi ngesizathu, ngosizo lwabo umzimba usithumela izimpawu ezithile. Uma sizisebenzisa ngendlela efanele, zisinika ulwazi olubalulekile, zisiqondise, zisikhuthaze futhi zisinike amandla.
Ngokwenza le misebenzi ebalulekile, imizwa inethonya elikhulu kithi.
Kodwa la mandla angaba isitha sethu. Ngokwesibonelo, ngezinye izikhathi siqondisa intukuthelo, okufanele isize isivikele, ngaphakathi, bese iqala ukusilimaza. Umunyu wokulahlekelwa, okufanele usisize sishiye okwedlule esikhathini esidlule futhi siqhubekele phambili, singaqhutshwa sijule futhi siqale ukusidla ngaphakathi. Ukukhathazeka, okufanele kusize ekulungiseleleni ubunzima, kusenza sibugweme.
Uma kubonakala sengathi imizwa ikuncisha amandla, ikuvimbele ekufinyeleleni izinhloso zakho, khona-ke uphatha ngokungalungile noma uphendula ngokungalungile. Nawa amasu ambalwa azosiza bobabili labo abake babhekana nezinkinga ezinkulu ezingokomzwelo, nalabo abanazo njalo.
Amasu okubhekana nemizwa enamandla
1. Chaza isipiliyoni ephepheni
Bambalwa ngaphandle kwama-psychotherapists abazi ukuthi ukuphela kwendlela yokubhekana nemizwa ukuzivumela ukuthi uyizwe. Okokuqala, bhala phansi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho ephepheni. Uma uhlushwa imizwa enamandla, sekuyisikhathi sokuthatha ipeni nephepha (ungaphrinta futhi kukhompyutha, kodwa umphumela wokwelapha awufani) bese uqala ukubhala konke okufika engqondweni. Zivumele ukuthi usakaze noma ukhale imizwa ephepheni isikhathi eside njengoba kudingeka. Ngemuva kwalokho, susa amanothi bese uzama ukuziphazamisa.
Uma utshela abanye ngezinto oye wabhekana nazo, kwenzeka into emangalisayo. Ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nabathandekayo kuyaphilisa. Ukuthi, "Ngidabukile kakhulu namuhla" futhi ukhulume ngemizwa yakho, kufanele "uthole" imizwa ejulile, futhi lokhu kuyasiza.
3. Prakthiza ukuzindla
Imizwa enamandla ibonakala ilawula ubuchopho, futhi siyeka ukuzibamba. Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, imicabango igijima emfudlaneni, noma ibe mibi futhi ibe nesiyaluyalu. Ukuzindla kuyindlela yokubuyisela ukulawula ubuchopho. Uma ezikhathini ezinzima ikakhulukazi uyeka ukubalekela imizwa, futhi uhlale uthule futhi ugxile kulokho okwenzeka ngaphakathi kuwe, ungathola ukuthula futhi.
4. Thola imizwa yakho
Leli yikhono eliyinhloko lokulawula imizwa. Kuhlanganisa konke okungenhla. Ukuze wenze lokhu, udinga nje ukuba nemizwa, uqonde ukuthi yini ngempela obhekene nayo nokuthi kungani futhi imiphi imizwa efuna ukukutshela yona. Ukuchaza imizwa yakho, ukukhuluma ngayo nokuzindla, wenza lokho okudingwa yisimo sakho somzwelo. Awusalaleli nje okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, kodwa uyakulawula, futhi lena indlela engcono kakhulu yokubaphuca amandla phezu kwempilo yakho.
Imizwa enamandla ayilona uphawu lobuthakathaka. Kunalokho, abonisa ikhono lakho lokuzizwa. Kubalulekile kuphela ukugxila ukugeleza kwamanje kwemizwelo ngaphakathi futhi uyiqondise ukuze uzuze.
Mayelana Nombhali: UJonis Webb ungudokotela wezengqondo, udokotela wengqondo, kanye nombhali wencwadi ethi The Persistent Emptiness: How to Cope with Children's Emotional Emotional.