Okuqukethwe
“Inhloko yomndeni”, “Unkosikazi wethu unquma konke”, “Ngizobuza umyeni wami ukuthi uzothini” … Ubani okufanele abe umholi ngababili? Akusona yini isikhathi sokucabanga kabusha ngemibono ephelelwe yisikhathi futhi sifunde kuleyo mindeni lapho ingekho khona into esemqoka, noma kunalokho, okuyinhloko kukhona konke? Yini ngokuvamile egcina umbhangqwana ojabulayo undawonye iminyaka eminingi? Umqeqeshi webhizinisi u-Radislav Gandapas uneresiphi, efakazelwa ulwazi lomuntu siqu.
Noma yimuphi umndeni awuwona nje umthombo wogqozi nenjabulo, kodwa futhi umthombo oyinhloko wezingxabano nezinkinga, umqeqeshi webhizinisi kanye nochwepheshe bobuholi uRadislav Gandapas uyaqiniseka. Yizingxabano zomndeni eziza kuqala ohlwini lwezimbangela eziyinhloko zezinkinga.
Endaweni yesibili kukhona izingxabano emkhakheni wezobuchwepheshe. “Ngezikhathi zobuthakathaka, umuntu uba nesifiso esingokwemvelo sokususa umthombo wezinkinga, okungukuthi, ukunqamula ubuhlobo, ukushiya umsebenzi. Kodwa ingabe lokhu kuwukuphela kwendlela yokuyixazulula? - kudinga umqeqeshi webhizinisi ocabangayo.
Qoqa okuvelayo okuvamile
Izikhathi eziningi imibhangqwana ihlala ndawonye naphezu kokungavumelani okusobala. Ngokunokwenzeka, abakafinyeleli eqophelweni elibucayi.
"Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi akukho mpahla ehlanganyelwe noma izingane ezijwayelekile ezizovimba abalingani ukuthi bahlukane uma le nkinga isifinyelele umvuthwandaba," kuqhuba uRadislav Gandapas. - Uma kwenzeka isehlukaniso kanye "nezenzo zempi" ezihambisana nayo, abalingani babhubhisa impahla ehlangene. Indawo yokuhlala ishintshaniswa ukuze kube noketshezi oluncane futhi ntofontofo. Uma kuqulwa amacala, akuvamile ukuthi kufe ibhizinisi elachuma ngokubambisana. Futhi ngisho nokuba khona kwezingane akuvimbi wonke umuntu, futhi, njengomthetho, obaba bahamba, bephonsa umthwalo, futhi izingane zihlala nonina.
Pho yini ezogcina umbhangqwana undawonye? “Ningayiqoqi impahla ehlanganyelwe, lokhu akukaze kusindise umshado. Qoqa okuvelayo okuvamile! weluleka umqeqeshi wezamabhizinisi. Yilokho kanye akwenzayo ebudlelwaneni futhi uyaziqhenya ngokuthi "unezingane ezine kusukela eminyakeni engu-4 kuya kwengu-17 ubudala, futhi zonke ziphuma kowesifazane oyedwa othandekayo."
Ukuphila komndeni omkhulu kugcwele isimiso, ngakho-ke u-Radislav nomkakhe u-Anna beza nezenzakalo zomndeni wonke izikhathi eziningana ngonyaka futhi bachithe izinsuku eziyisibopho ndawonye, beshiya izingane kugogo wazo. Baze banquma ukushada ngokuqondile ukuze babe esinye isenzakalo esivamile esikhanyayo ekuphileni, nakuba ngaleso sikhathi base benezingane ezimbili kakade futhi kwakungangabazeki ukuthi bazoba ndawonye.
Bekuwumdlalo omuhle wamazinga amaningi onohambo ngomkhumbi kanye nesiphakamiso somshado esinesizotha, lapho wonke umuntu ejabulele khona - abasanda kushada, nezihlobo, nabangane ababambe iqhaza esixukwini socingo esasungulwa ngumkhwenyana (izingcingo ezingama-64 ezinamagama athi « Anya, yithi» Yebo » wamukele umakoti amahora ambalwa ehamba emfuleni).
Okuvelayo okuvamile kanye nemizwa eyabiwe yikho kanye okuxhumanisa abantu ababili abahlukene embhangqwaneni, hhayi nakancane indawo yokuhlala evamile noma isitembu sepasipoti.
“Lona umshado, nohambo, futhi lapho izinga lokushisa lomntwana lingaphansi kuka-40, bese nigijima nomkakho ebusuku nisuka komunye umtholampilo uya komunye nifuna udokotela ofanele,” kuchaza uRadislav. - Akunandaba ukuthi iyiphi ithoni - enhle noma embi - okuvelayo kunombala, kubalulekile ukuthi kuhlangene.
Uma sikhule saba omunye nomunye ngemicimbi evamile eyisigidi kanye nemizwelo esinolwazi, kunzima ngathi ukuhlukana. Futhi uma kungekho zindaba ezivamile emshadweni, khona-ke akukho lutho olungasindisa: umfazi unakekela izingane, uthola imali, futhi lapho ebuyela ekhaya, uyaqhubeka ekhuluma ngocingo mayelana nebhizinisi. Noma ethi ukhathele ucela ukungamthinti, adle yedwa ayobukela umabonakude ehhovisi, alale khona. Banezimpilo ezimbili ezifanayo, akukho okumele balahlekelwe ngakho.”
Khumbula ukuthi umholi uyisikhundla esisebenzayo
Isazi sobuholi siyaqiniseka ukuthi umndeni wesimanje udinga ubuholi obuvundlile.
"Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokhu kuyi-oxymoron, ngoba igama elithi "hierarchy" liphakamisa ukuthi othile ungaphansi kothile," umqeqeshi webhizinisi uchaza isikhundla sakhe. - Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umndeni wesimanje wabalingani ababili abakhuthele emphakathini abafuna ukuzibonakalisa ngangokunokwenzeka kusho ukuphilisana okulinganayo. Uma, nokho, othile kubabhangqwana ephikelela kusigaba saphezulu esime mpo, uhlangothi olulodwa luzophoqeleka ukuba lubeke phansi izithakazelo zalo kolunye.
Kunezinyunyana lapho ehola khona, futhi unakekela umuzi nezingane. Inkontileka enjalo ibonakala ifanela wonke umuntu. Abanye balaba bashadikazi bajabule. Kodwa ngiye ngithole ukuthi inqwaba yabesifazane ayikhombisi amakhono abo ngaphandle kwekhaya.
Ngesinye isikhathi, othile kumbhangqwana uzizwa efile. "O, imizwa yethu ibanda." Noma "Akukho esingakhuluma ngakho." Hhayi-ke, uma beqagela ukuya ekuqeqesheni, kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, baqale ukufunda izincwadi ezikhethekile, khona-ke kukhona ithuba lokuthola ukuthi umshado awuvalwanga ngesivumelwano somshado, izingane kanye nempahla, kodwa ngokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlangene ngokomzwelo. Futhi, mhlawumbe, umbhangqwana uzoshintsha indlela yabo evamile yobudlelwane "inhloko yomndeni - ongaphansi."
Ukuhlelwa okuvundlile kuvumela bobabili abalingani ukuthi bazibonele bona futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo umbhangqwana uwonke. Kodwa kanjani ukwabelana ngobuholi ekusebenzeni?
“Ukuxoxisana yikho okuqinisekisa ubudlelwano obuvuthiwe, obugcwele. Umshado uwubuciko bokuyekethisa, kusho uRadislav Gandapas. — Kudingeka usho ukuthi yini oyifunayo emshadweni, yini oyifunayo ngaphandle komshado, yini ebalulekile futhi ethakazelisayo kuwe.
Abaningi baphila futhi bacabange ngephutha ukuthi olunye uhlangothi lwaneliswa ngokuzenzakalelayo, njengoba luthule. Futhi uma kungazelelwe kukhona okungahambi kahle, kungani-ke enza okuthile, sengathi unakho konke. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi izidingo zethu zingase zingafezeki ngisho nakithi. Saze saya eholidini nami nginendawo yami yokuba sodwa endlini yezivakashi, ngangingazi ukuthi nami ngiyayidinga nasekhaya. Futhi ngatshela umkami ngakho, manje sicabanga ukuthi singayihlomisa kanjani endlini yethu.
Ngokulandelana kwezikhundla ezivundlile, asikho isidingo sokuthi izithakazelo zothile ziphakeme, zibaluleke kakhulu kunezabanye. Lapha wonke umuntu unamalungelo alinganayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubani oletha imali eyinhloko endlini noma ahlanze indlu futhi alungiselele ukudla.
Nikelane ilungelo lokuthatha izinqumo
Indlela yokuhlukanisa umholi? Futhi ungathola kanjani izimfanelo zobuholi kuwe? Ubuholi abuchazwa ngesimo. Umholi wangempela, kokubili kwezamabhizinisi nasebudlelwaneni, yilowo othatha isikhundla sokuphila esisebenzayo futhi avumele abanye ukuba bathuthuke eduze kwakhe, hhayi nhlobo lowo onophawu oluthi "Chief" emnyango futhi abukele abanye phansi. .
“Igama elithi “umholi” linezincazelo nezincazelo eziningi,” kusho uRadislav Gandapas. - Ubuholi bungabizwa ngokuthi isu lempilo eligxile ekuqalisweni nasekuzibophezeleni. Umholi uyena ozinqumela isiphetho sakhe. Akaphili esikhundleni sokuthi "O, ngenzeni, izimo sezithuthukile." Yena ngokwakhe udala izimo ezidingekayo.
Umholi ngeke alinde baze bamnyuse iholo, uzoziqalela yena. Kodwa hhayi ngomqondo wokuthi kungaba kuhle ukuthola okwengeziwe. Imali uyibheka njengezinga lokukhula nokuthuthuka kwakhe. Uzotshela abaphathi ukuthi ufuna ukuzibona kangcono, afinyelele ezingeni elisha lokuthatha izinqumo, izinga, nesibopho.”
Ngokwesibonelo, insizwa ethile uMisha ayiboni amathuba edolobheni lakubo futhi inquma ukuya edolobheni elikhulu. Ungena enyuvesi, athole umsebenzi, akhuphule izinga lomsebenzi lapho. Ingabe ungumholi? Ngokungangabazeki. Okungeke kushiwo ngenye insizwa uBor, eyazalwa futhi yakhuliswa abazali abangenacala, yangena enyuvesi abamkhethele yona, ngemva kokuphothula iziqu yathola umsebenzi nomngane kayise, futhi manje isineminyaka engu-12 ebambe isikhundla esifanayo - izinkanyezi ezinezulu alanele, kodwa azikwazi ukumxosha - phela, indodana yomngane kababa omdala.
Empilweni yakhe yangasese, uyaziwa - intombazane yakhulelwa ngokushesha kuye, "yashada". Wayengamthandi kodwa ngenxa yeminyaka yakhe kwafika isikhathi sokuthi ashade. Ubani umholi kulo mbhangqwana? Ungu. Kudlula iminyaka eminingi, futhi ngolunye usuku uBorya uthola ukuthi usebenza emsebenzini ongawuthandi, uhlala nowesifazane ongathandwa, futhi ukhulisa ingane ayengayifuni ngempela. Kodwa akakakulungeli ukushintsha ukuphila kwakhe. Ngakho ukhona, ngaphandle kokukhombisa isu lobuholi.
Izimfanelo zobuholi zigxiliswa ebuntwaneni. Kodwa lapho nje "sijezisa" izingane ngokuthatha isinyathelo kuqala, ngokushesha sivimba inketho yomholi wesikhathi esizayo. Ingane yageza izitsha, yathela amanzi phansi. Ukusabela okubili kungenzeka.
Okokuqala: dumisa futhi ubonise indlela yokugeza izitsha ngaphandle kokuchitha amanzi.
Okwesibili: ukuthethisa ixhaphozi, ukumbiza ngesiphukuphuku, inkathazo yempahla yasekhaya, ukumethusa ngomakhelwane okuthiwa bathukuthele.
Kusobala ukuthi esimweni sesibili, ngesikhathi esizayo ingane izocabanga kanzima mayelana nokuthi yenze okuthile endlini, ngoba ibonakala ilulaza, ibhubhisa futhi ingaphephile kuye. Isinyathelo singalahleka kunoma iyiphi iminyaka. Indoda ivame ukusika amaphiko omkayo, nomfazi endodeni yakhe. Futhi-ke bobabili bayamangala: kungani echitha sonke isikhathi nabangane bakhe, hhayi ekhaya, futhi uhlala elele embhedeni.
Pho yini okumele uyenze? Ungasibuyisela kanjani isinyathelo sokuqala kanye nesikhundla esisebenzayo ebudlelwaneni?
Umndeni ukubambisana, ukusebenzisana. Wonke amalungu omndeni anezwi kanye nelungelo lokujabula nganoma yisiphi isikhathi.
“Ungabuyela lapho ubudlelwano buqala khona. Futhi sivumelane kabusha ngokuthi sizowakha kanjani manje,” kuncoma uRadislav Gandapas. - Kunengqondo ukuvala imizwelo futhi uvule ukucabangela futhi uzibuze: ngokuvamile, ingabe ngijabule ngalo muntu, ingabe ngifuna ukuphila naye? Ingabe ukunganeliseki kwethu komunye nomunye kuyabulala?
Uma impendulo yombuzo wokuqala ithi “Cha” futhi owesibili ithi “Yebo”, yekani ukuhlukumezana nidedele. Uma uqonda ukuthi lo ngumuntu wakho ofuna ukuphila naye, niguge ndawonye, lapho-ke kudingeka nixoxisane noma nihambe nikhulume phambi kukadokotela wezengqondo womndeni ozokusiza nobabili ukubona ubuhlobo ngaphandle futhi ugcine. ingxoxo ngendlela eyakhayo.
Yini ezokwenza ukuthi noma yibaphi ozakwethu bathathe isinyathelo kuqala? Umuzwa wokuthi izwi lakhe libalulekile. Umbono omdala - oholayo, unquma - uphelelwe yisikhathi.
“Noma yini umuntu ayenzayo emshadweni—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usebenza ehhovisi, uqhuba ibhizinisi noma umkhaya, uhamba emadolobheni nasemadolobheni, noma uhlezi ekhaya nezingane, akufanele aphucwe ilungelo lokuthatha izinqumo,” kusho. Radislav Gandapas. “Izinhlobo zabantu ziye zasinda ngenxa yekhono lokubambisana nokuxoxisana.
Umndeni ukubambisana, ukusebenzisana. Wonke amalungu omndeni anezwi kanye nelungelo lokujabula nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Futhi uma engajabule, khona-ke kufanele alalelwe, futhi izimfuno zakhe ezifanele kufanele zaneliswe ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngaphandle uma zibhubhisa injabulo yakhe.