Kunzima ukukukholelwa, kodwa abantu abadala bazizwa bejabule kakhudlwana. UVictor Kagan, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, udokotela wesayensi yezokwelapha, osebenza kakhulu nabantu asebekhulile nasebekhulile kakhulu, wabelane nathi ngombono wakhe ngale ndaba.
“Lapho sengimdala njengawe, nami ngeke ngidinge lutho,” wangitshela indodana yami lapho ineminyaka engu-15 futhi mina ngineminyaka engu-35. umzali oneminyaka yobudala. Noma kunjalo, lapho beneminyaka engu-70 futhi beneminyaka engu-95, abantu badinga into efanayo nabaneminyaka engu-95. Ngesinye isikhathi, isiguli esineminyaka engu-75 ubudala sathi, sinamahloni: “Uyazi dokotela, umphefumulo awugugi.”
Umbuzo omkhulu, yiqiniso, ukuthi sibona kanjani abantu abadala. Eminyakeni engu-30-40 edlule, lapho umuntu ethatha umhlalaphansi, wasuswa ekuphileni. Waphenduka umthwalo ongazi muntu ukuthi enzeni, naye engazi ukuthi uzothathani ahlanganise nani. Futhi kwakubonakala sengathi ngaleso sikhathi akekho owayedinga lutho. Kodwa eqinisweni, ukuguga yisikhathi esithakazelisa kakhulu. Jabulile. Kunezifundo eziningi eziqinisekisa ukuthi abantu abaneminyaka engu-60 no-90 bazizwa bejabule kunabantu abasha. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uCarl Whitaker, oseminyakeni yawo-70, saphawula: “Iminyaka ephakathi iwumjaho onzima okhathazayo, ukuguga kuwukujabulela umdanso omuhle: amadolo angase agobe kakhulu, kodwa ijubane nobuhle kungokwemvelo futhi akuphoqelekile.” Kusobala ukuthi abantu asebekhulile balindele kancane kancane, futhi kukhona nomuzwa wenkululeko: asikweleti lutho kunoma ubani futhi asesabi lutho. Ngakwazisa mina. Ngithathe umhlalaphansi (futhi ngisaqhubeka nokusebenza, njengoba bengisebenza - kakhulu), kodwa ngithola umklomelo wokududuza ngeminyaka yami. Ngeke ukwazi ukuphila ngale mali, ungaphila ngayo, kodwa kuthe uma ngiqala ukuyithola, ngazibamba ngomuzwa omangalisayo – manje sengiyakwazi ukushaya amaphuzu kukho konke. Impilo isishintshile – yakhululeka, yaba lula. Ukuguga ngokuvamile kukuvumela ukuba uzinake kakhulu, wenze okufunayo nalokho izandla zakho ezingafinyeleli ngaphambili, futhi ukwazisa yonke iminithi enjalo - asikho isikhathi esiningi esisele.
Funda kabanzi:
- “Ukuguga kungaba isikhathi esijabulisa kakhulu ekuphileni kwethu”
Izibhamu
Okunye ukuthi ukuguga kunezakho izinkinga. Ngikhumbula ebuntwaneni bami - kwakuyisikhathi sezinsuku zokuzalwa, futhi manje ngiphila ngesikhathi somngcwabo - ukulahlekelwa, ukulahlekelwa, ukulahlekelwa. Kunzima kakhulu ngisho nokuphepha kwami komsebenzi. Ebudaleni, inkinga yesizungu, ukudingwa nguwena kuzwakala ngendlela engakaze ibonwe ngaphambili ... Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abazali nezingane bathandana kanjani, abantu abadala banemibuzo yabo: indlela yokuthenga indawo emathuneni, indlela yokuhlela umngcwabo, ukufa kanjani ... Kubuhlungu izingane ukulalela lokhu, bayazivikela: "Yeka lokho Mama, uzophila iminyaka eyikhulu ubudala!" Akekho ofuna ukuzwa ngokufa. Ngivame ukuzwa ngeziguli: “Nginawe kuphela engingakhuluma ngalokhu, kungekho omunye umuntu.” Sixoxa ngokuthula ngokufa, sikwenze ihlaya, sikulungiselele.
Enye inkinga yokuguga umsebenzi, ukuxhumana. Ngasebenza kakhulu esikhungweni sosuku sabadala (e-USA. – Inothi lomhleli) futhi ngabona abantu engangihlangane nabo phambilini. Khona-ke babengenandawo yokuzibeka, futhi bahlala ekhaya usuku lonke, begula, bekhathele, benezimpawu eziningi ... , kukhona ozidingayo lapho , angaxoxa futhi axabane nomunye - futhi impilo lena! Babenomuzwa wokuthi bayadinga bona, omunye nomunye, banezinhlelo nezinkathazo zakusasa, futhi kulula - udinga ukugqoka, akudingekile ukuthi uhambe ngengubo yokugqoka ... Indlela umuntu aphila ngayo ingxenye yakhe yokugcina ihle kakhulu. kubalulekile. Hlobo luni lokuguga - olungenakuzisiza noma olusebenzayo? Ngikhumbula umbono wami onamandla wokuba phesheya, eHungary ngo-1988 - izingane nabantu abadala. Izingane okungekho muntu ozihudula ngesandla futhi angasongeli ukunikeza iphoyisa. Futhi abantu abadala - abalungiswe kahle, bahlanzekile, behlezi esitolo ... Lesi sithombe sasihluke kakhulu kwengasibona eRussia ...
Ubudala kanye ne-psychotherapy
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo singaba isiteshi sempilo esebenzayo yomuntu osekhulile. Ungakhuluma ngakho konke naye, ngaphezu kwalokho, naye uyasiza. Esinye seziguli zami sasineminyaka engu-86 ubudala futhi sasinobunzima bokuhamba. Ukuze ngimsize afike ehhovisi lami, ngambiza, endleleni saxoxa ngento ethile, ngasebenza, ngamshayela ekhaya. Futhi kwaba isenzakalo sonke ekuphileni kwakhe. Ngikhumbula esinye isiguli sami, esinesifo sikaParkinson. Kubonakala sengathi i-psychotherapy ihlangene ngani nayo? Lapho sihlangana naye, wayengakwazi ukusukuma ngokwakhe esihlalweni, engakwazi ukufaka ibhantshi, ngokusekelwa umyeni wakhe ngandlela-thile waphuma waya ebhentshini. Wayengakaze aye ndawo, ngezinye izikhathi izingane zazimgona ezingalweni zazo zimyise emotweni zihambe naye ... Saqala ukusebenza naye futhi ngemva kwezinyanga eziyisithupha sasizungeza indlu enkulu ingalo nengalo: lapho sihamba sigcwele isiyingi okokuqala ngqa. , kwaba ukunqoba. Sahamba ama-laps angu-2-3 futhi senza ukwelashwa endleleni. Khona-ke yena nomyeni wakhe baya ezweni lakubo, e-Odessa, futhi, ebuya, wathi okokuqala ngqa ekuphileni kwakhe wazama ... vodka lapho. Ngangigodola, ngifuna ukufudumala: “Angikaze ngicabange ukuthi kuhle kangaka.”
Ngisho nabantu abagula kakhulu banamandla amakhulu, umphefumulo ungenza okuningi. I-Psychotherapy kunoma iyiphi iminyaka isiza umuntu ukuthi abhekane nempilo. Ungakunqobi, ungakushintshi, kodwa bhekana nalokho okukhona. Futhi kukhona konke okukuyo - udaka, ukungcola, ubuhlungu, izinto ezinhle ... Singathola kithi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi singakubheki ohlangothini olulodwa kuphela konke lokhu. Leli akulona “iqhugwane, iqhugwane, ukuma emuva ehlathini, kodwa kimina ngaphambili.” Ku-psychotherapy, umuntu ukhetha futhi athole isibindi sokuyibona emagumbini ahlukene. Ngeke usakwazi ukuphuza impilo, njengasebusheni bakho, ngezibuko - futhi ayidonsi. Thatha kancane, kancane, uzwe ukunambitheka kokudonsa ngakunye.