Okuqukethwe
Singakwazi ukuqaphela imizwa yethu, siyilawule kahle. Kodwa ukuzihlela… Kubonakala sengathi lokhu kungaphezu kwenganekwane. Singakubikezela kanjani okwenzekayo ngaphandle kokuhlanganyela kwethu ngokuqaphela? Kuvela ukuthi lokhu akunzima uma unekhono elikhethekile.
Asikwazi ukuthonya ngokuqondile ukuvela kwemizwa. Kuyinqubo yezinto eziphilayo, njengokugaya ukudla, isibonelo. Kodwa ngemva kwakho konke, yonke imizwa iwukusabela kwesenzakalo noma isenzo, futhi singakwazi ukuhlela izenzo zethu. Siyakwazi ukwenza izinto eziqinisekisiwe ukuthi zingabangela isipiliyoni esithile. Ngakho, sizoyihlela imizwa ngokwayo.
Yini engalungile ngokuhlela kwendabuko
Sivame ukubeka imigomo ngokusekelwe emiphumeleni. Thola idiploma, thenga imoto, uye eholidini eParis. Yimiphi imizwa esiyoba nayo ohlelweni lokufeza lezi zinhloso? Emfanekisweni ojwayelekile wezwe, lokhu akubalulekile. Okubalulekile ukuthi sigcina ngani. Yile ndlela okubukeka ngayo ukukhomba okuvamile.
Sonke siyazi ukuthi umgomo kufanele uqonde, ufezeke futhi ukhuthaze. Sikulungele kusengaphambili ukuthi endleleni eya kukho, cishe, kuzodingeka ubhekane nobunzima futhi uzikhawulele ngandlela-thile. Kodwa lapho sifinyelela kuyo, ekugcineni siyoba nemizwa eyakhayo—injabulo, injabulo, ukuziqhenya.
Sihlobanisa ukufezwa kwezinjongo nomuzwa wenjabulo.
Futhi uma kungenjalo? Kuthiwani uma senza imizamo eminingi ukuze sifinyelele umgomo, kodwa singayitholi imizwelo elindelekile? Isibonelo, ngemva kwezinyanga zokuqeqeshwa nokudla, ingabe uzofinyelela isisindo osifisayo, kodwa ngeke yini uqiniseke ngokwengeziwe noma ujabule? Futhi uqhubeke ubheka amaphutha kuwena? Noma uzokhushulwa esikhundleni, kodwa esikhundleni sokuziqhenya okulindelekile, uzobhekana nokucindezeleka futhi ngeke ukwazi ukwenza lokho okuthandile endaweni yakho yokugcina.
Sihlobanisa ukufezwa kwezinjongo nomuzwa wenjabulo. Kodwa ngokuvamile injabulo ayinamandla njengoba besilindele, futhi iphetha ngokushesha. Sizibekele umgomo omusha, siphakamise izinga futhi sibheke ngabomvu ukuzwa imizwa ebesiyifuna futhi. Futhi ngokungapheli.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ezikhathini eziningi, asikuzuzi lokho ebesikulwela. Uma kukhona ukungabaza kanye nokwesaba kwangaphakathi ngemuva kwegoli, nakuba lifiseleka kakhulu, khona-ke ingqondo namandla mancane amathuba okuba kusize ukukunqoba. Ubuchopho buzothola ngokuphindaphindiwe izizathu zokuthi kungani kuyingozi kithi ukuyifinyelela. Ngakho ngokushesha noma kamuva sizoyeka. Futhi esikhundleni senjabulo, sithola umuzwa wecala wokuthi asizange sibhekane nomsebenzi.
Zibekele imigomo noma uphile ngomuzwa
UDanielle Laporte, umbhali we-Live with Feeling. Indlela yokubeka imigomo umphefumulo olele kuyo” kwafika endleleni yokuhlela imizwelo ngengozi. Ngobusuku obandulela uNcibijane, yena nomyeni wakhe babhala uhlu olujwayelekile lwemigomo yonyaka, kodwa baqaphela ukuthi kukhona okushodayo kulo.
Yonke imigomo yayibonakala mikhulu, kodwa ingakhuthazi. Khona-ke, esikhundleni sokubhala phansi imigomo yangaphandle, uDaniella waqala ukuxoxa nomyeni wakhe ngendlela ababengathanda ukuzizwa ngayo ezicini ezihlukahlukene zokuphila.
Kuvele ukuthi ingxenye yamagoli ayizange ilethe imizwa abebefuna ukuyizwa. Futhi imizwelo efiswayo akudingekile ukuba yamukelwe ngendlela eyodwa kuphela. Isibonelo, uhambo lokuya eholidini lubalulekile emibonweni emisha, ithuba lokuphazamiseka nokuchitha isikhathi uwedwa nomuntu omthandayo. Kodwa uma ungakwazi ukuya eParis okwamanje, kungani ungatholi injabulo ethengekayo ngokuchitha impelasonto edolobheni eliseduze?
Imigomo kaDaniella isishintshile ngendlela yokuthi abantu bangabonwa futhi ayisabukeki njengohlu lwezinto okufanele zenziwe. Into ngayinye yayihlotshaniswa nemizwa ejabulisayo futhi igcwele amandla.
Setha inkambo yemizwa
Ukuhlela umgomo kuvame ukukukhipha endleleni. Asizizwa izifiso zethu zangempela futhi sifinyelele lokho abazali bethu abakufunayo noma lokho okubhekwa njengokuhlonishwayo emphakathini. Sigxila ekungajabulini, futhi ngenxa yalokho, silwela ukuphila kwethu konke ngenxa yezinto ezingasijabulisi.
Kufanele sibambelele ekuphathweni kwesikhathi okuqinile futhi senze izinto ezingajabulisi ezithatha amandla futhi zisidicilele phansi ukuze siqhubekele phambili. Siqale sigxile kumphumela, okungase kudumaze.
Imizwa isebenza kahle kakhulu kunamandla
Yingakho ukuhlela imizwa kusebenza ngempumelelo kakhulu. Sibeka phambili indlela esifuna ukuzizwa ngayo. Unomdlandla, uyazethemba, ukhululekile, ujabule. Lezi yizifiso zethu zangempela, ezingenakudideka nabanye, zigcwalisa ugqozi, zinikeze amandla okwenza okuthile. Sibona okufanele kusetshenzwe. Futhi sigxila enqubweni esiyilawulayo.
Ngakho-ke, hlela imizwa ofuna ukuba nayo, bese wenza uhlu lwakho lwezinto okufanele uzenze ngokusekelwe kuyo. Ukuze wenze lokhu, phendula imibuzo emi-2:
- Yimiphi imizwa engifuna ukuyigcwalisa usuku, isonto, inyanga, unyaka?
- Yini okudingeka uyenze, uthole, uthenge, uye kuphi ukuze uzwe engikuqophile?
Ibhizinisi ngalinye elivela ohlwini olusha lizonikeza amandla nezinsiza, futhi ekupheleni konyaka ngeke nje ubone imikhaza phambi kwemigomo. Uzothola imizwa obuyilangazelela.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi uzoyeka ukulwela okuthile okwengeziwe, uthole ingxenye yenjabulo enkomishini yetiye kanye nencwadi oyithandayo. Kodwa uzoqala ukuzwa izifiso zakho zangempela, uzifeze futhi uzenze ngokujabula, hhayi “ngami angikwazi.” Uzoba namandla anele okwenza futhi uzuze kalula lokho obekubonakala kungenakwenzeka ngaphambili. Uzobona ukuthi imizwa isebenza kahle kakhulu kunamandla.
Impilo yakho izoshintsha. Kuyoba khona izenzakalo ezijabulisayo nezijabulisayo ngempela kulo. Futhi uzozilawula ngokwakho.