Iningi labesifazane liphupha ngobudlelwano obungathi sina, uthando nokwethembeka impilo yonke. Kodwa bahlangana naye - othanda abesifazane, indoda yabesifazane, umkhohlisi waphakade. Indlela yokubona lolu hlobo lwamadoda nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma uhlangana naye endleleni?
Amantombazane amancane noma abesifazane asebenesikhathi eside beshadile futhi abangenalo ulwazi lobudlelwane namanye ama-psychotypes, ngaphandle kokuqaphela ukushaya kwenhliziyo, baqala ukuhlangana naye njengomlingani wobudlelwane obunzima. Bangena othandweni, bavule izinhliziyo zabo, bathembele, bese bethola ukukhashelwa kanzima.
Umuntu wesifazane akakwazi ukuthathwa ngokungathí sina, ubuhlobo abukwazi ukwakhiwa naye, akakwazi ukwaneliswa. Ukunganeliseki, ukunganeliseki kanye nokuguquguquka kuyimvelo yakho. Umuntu othanda abantu besifazane akasoze agcina kokukodwa, noma ngabe muhle kangakanani.
UDon Juan uthi:
- Ucansi. Okusho ukuthi, unesifiso esibuhlungu, se-pathological, esingenampilo socansi. Uyayenga “endlaleni” engapheli. Ushintsha esinye isidingo ngocansi. Ngokunokwenzeka, wayentula uthando nokwamukelwa kumama wakhe ebuntwaneni, futhi impilo yakhe yonke ubezama ukuthola ukunakwa kwabesifazane. Ufuna bonke abakhangwayo bamthande futhi bamamukele. Futhi uzohlala endaweni ethile emkhathizwe ukuze abone intombazane ekhangayo engakamthandi.
- I-Psychopath kanye / noma i-narcissist. Unesimo sengqondo "somgomo" ngowesifazane kanye nenkinga enkulu ngemizwa, akazi ukuthi uthando luyini. Angakwazi ukuncoma (i-narcissist) noma athole ukwaneliseka nenjabulo ngokuphathwa (psychopath). Kunoma ikuphi, owesifazane unomuzwa «injongo».
UNarcissus akaboni owesifazane wangempela onabo bonke ubuthakathaka nokushiyeka, kodwa ubona i-Lady Lady efanelekile (okuyinto, noma kunjalo, engakwazi ukwehla nganoma yisiphi isikhathi). I-psychopath ibona kumuntu wesifazane into ejabulisayo ukuba nayo, ukubukisa, okufanele ikhange ngokubukeka futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, inomdlandla, ithenda, futhi i-sexy.
Ngenxa yalokho, siyabona ukuthi indoda enjalo ayifaneleki ubuhlobo obujulile.
Indlela yokubona i-rake?
“Uhlala ephoqa izinto. Ukhuthele, ngokushesha ubiza, ngokushesha wenza i-aphoyintimenti, ngokushesha uzama ukufeza ubulili.
— Uyayenga ngazo zonke izindlela atholakalayo. Uhlala ebukeka emuhle, uzibheka ngokucophelela. Uyazethemba, uyakwazi ukuheha nokukhanga owesifazane.
- Njalo unikeza izincomo ezigcizelela ubufazi kanye nobulili bento ebhekwayo. Ukhuluma ncamashi njengomuntu wesifazane ngomqondo wobulili, usho imishwana ephula imingcele yokusondelana, edala ukusondelana ngokomzimba emcabangweni.
— Usebenzisa ukuthinta okuthinta inhliziyo. Ngokuvamile uthinta owesifazane phakathi nengxoxo, kodwa ukwenza ngobuchule, ngokungabonakali.
- Enkulumweni yakhe, ungabona ukungaqondakali okucashile, noma "inhloso", kungase kubonakale kuwe ukuthi wakufanisa nento ethile ngamazwi. Angase abeke izangoma kuqala, njengokusho ukuthi owesifazane kufanele abe nezingubo zangaphansi ezibizayo, izinto zokulungisa izinwele, noma izigqoko. Kodwa owesifazane akaqapheli ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi yini ngempela eyamdida ngamazwi omyengi.
- Ukukunaka kakhulu njengomuntu wesifazane, ngeke akuthande nakancane njengomuntu. Ngezinye izikhathi abesifazane besifazane babuza imibuzo embalwa mayelana nezithakazelo ukuze bakhohlise owesifazane, ukudala inkohliso yezinhloso ezinkulu. Kodwa lapho ubuhlobo buqala, isithakazelo ebuntwini bakho siyanyamalala endaweni ethile, ubuhlobo buza ocansini nje.
- Akanandaba neze nezinkinga zakho, umsebenzi, umndeni, izingane, obathandayo. Konke lokhu kuwulwazi olungadingekile lomkhohlisi, nokungena kulo - uikuchitha iskhathi.
Ngeke asebenzise imali kuwe. I-About izosindisa ebudlelwaneni nawe. Ufuna ukwenza ucansi ngaphandle kokutshala imali. Okunamathiselwe kudala okunamathiselwe, okungakudingi.
- Ngisho nasebudlelwaneni obuseduze, uzoba nomuzwa wokuthi akukho ukusondelana, njengokungathi awukwazi ukungena emphefumulweni wakhe nganoma iyiphi indlela.
— Kwesinye isikhathi izinkundla zokuxhumana zinganikeza ulwazi oluningi ngendoda. Uzobona izithombe eziningi ezindaweni ezinhle nabesifazane abahlukene. Lokhu uma engayifihli imvelo nendlela yakhe yokuphila. Kodwa uma u-womenizer efihliwe, uma elingisa indoda engathí sina futhi lokhu kumnika amabhonasi, isibonelo, kunenzuzo kuye ukuba abe ngababili, khona-ke ngeke ubone abanye besifazane esithombeni sakhe ngaphandle komkakhe noma "osemthethweni". ” intombi.
Okufanele ukwenze uma uhlangana nendoda enothando
1. Ungacabangi ukuthi uzoshintsha. Abesifazane abaningi abangenalwazi bazitika ngemicabango yokuthi bangakwazi ukwelapha ukuqaqamba kwenhliziyo ngothando lwabo. Bakholelwa ukuthi unje ngoba akakabi nalo “uthando lweqiniso” okwamanje. Zonke izintombi zangaphambili azizange zivumelane naye, futhi nguye kuphela othanda kakhulu futhi wakha ubuhlobo obunjalo obuzomshintsha. Ungakhohliswa ngamasu. Umuntu ushukumiseleka ukuba alahle iphethini kuphela lapho ehlushwa khona, futhi izinguquko zidinga iminyaka eminingana yokusebenza nochwepheshe be-psychotherapist. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, owesifazane othanda abesifazane ujabulela ukuziphatha kwakhe okujwayelekile, ngeke ashintshe.
2. Ungazibeki icala. Lapho uCasanova ekhohlisa noma eshiya, amantombazane nabesifazane abaningi baqala ukuzigxeka, becabanga: ngenzeni okubi? futhi ukube bengizinakekela kangcono, bengithambile, ngingowesifazane, ngiheha, mhlawumbe ngabe akahambanga? Akulona iphutha lakho, akukona ngawe, futhi akufanele uzame ukuzilungisa nezidingo zendoda eguquguqukayo futhi ugcine lobu budlelwano. ucansi - kuyi-pathology. Futhi uma manje ukhululekile ebuhlotsheni mbumbulu nomuntu ongenampilo, lokho kuhle.
3. Qeda ubudlelwano ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Zibuze umbuzo, ingabe udinga inyunyana enjalo: ngaphandle kothando, ukusondelana okungokomoya, izibopho? Uma unemizwa, uma usesimweni sobuhlobo obungathi sina, uDon Juan uphikisana nawe, angakulimaza kakhulu, akulimaze. Uzohlupheka uzisole. Vula inhliziyo yakho endodeni ethembekile, ethembekile ezokwazisa futhi ikukhethele ubudlelwano obungathi sína.