Okuqukethwe
Ubudala benkani. Mayelana nenhlekelele yeminyaka emithathu
Inkinga yeminyaka emithathu ihlukile kulokho okwenzeka lapho umuntu esenenyanga eyodwa (okuthiwa inkinga yezingane ezisanda kuzalwa) noma unyaka owodwa ubudala (inkinga yonyaka owodwa). Ukube "amaphuzu okukhipha" amabili adlule abengahamba kahle ngokuqhathaniswa, izenzo zokuqala zokubhikisha bezingakasebenzi kangako, futhi amakhono amasha kuphela namakhono abambe iso, ngakho-ke ngenhlekelele yeminyaka emithathu isimo sinzima kakhulu. Cishe akunakwenzeka ukukugeja. Ingane elalelayo eneminyaka emithathu icishe ibe yivelakancane njengentsha ekwaziyo ukuhlala kahle nenothando. Izici ezinjalo zeminyaka yenhlekelele njengoba kunzima ukufundisa, ukungqubuzana nabanye, njll., kulesi sikhathi, ngokokuqala ngqa, kubonakaliswa ngokoqobo futhi ngokugcwele. Akumangalisi ukuthi usizi lweminyaka emithathu ngezinye izikhathi lubizwa ngokuthi iminyaka yenkani.
Ngesikhathi ingane yakho izogubha usuku lwayo lokuzalwa lwesithathu (futhi okungcono nakakhulu, isigamu sonyaka ngaphambili), kuyoba usizo kuwe ukwazi yonke "izimbali" zezimpawu ezinquma ukuqala kwale nkinga - okuthiwa. "izinkanyezi eziyisikhombisa". Ngokucabanga ukuthi ingxenye ngayinye yale nkanyezi eyisikhombisa isho ukuthini, ungasiza ngokuphumelelayo ingane ukuba ikhule iminyaka enzima, kanye nokugcina isimiso sezinzwa esinempilo - kokubili kwakhe nesakhe.
Ngomqondo ojwayelekile, ukunganaki kusho isifiso sokuphikisa, ukwenza okuphambene nalokho akutshelwayo. Ingane ingase ilambe kakhulu, noma ifune ngempela ukulalela inganekwane, kodwa iyokwenqaba kuphela ngenxa yokuthi wena, noma omunye umuntu omdala, uyinikeza yona. I-Negativism kumele ihlukaniswe nokungalaleli okuvamile. Phela ingane ayikulaleli ngoba ifuna, kodwa ngoba okwamanje ayikwazi ukwenza okuhlukile. Ngokwenqaba isicelo sakho noma isicelo, "uvikela" "I" yakhe.
Ngemva kokuzwakalisa umbono wakhe noma ecele okuthile, ingane encane enenkani eneminyaka emithathu izogoba umugqa wayo ngawo wonke amandla ayo. Ingabe ufuna ngempela ukubulawa «isicelo»? Kungenzeka. Kodwa, cishe, hhayi kakhulu, noma ngokujwayelekile isikhathi eside ulahlekelwe isifiso. Kodwa umntwana uzoqonda kanjani ukuthi umbono wakhe uyacatshangelwa, ukuthi umbono wakhe uyalalelwa uma wenza ngendlela yakho?
Ukuzikhandla, ngokungafani ne-negativism, kuwumbhikisho ojwayelekile ngokumelene nendlela evamile yokuphila, imikhuba yokukhuliswa. Ingane ayigculisekile ngakho konke okunikezwa yona.
Ingane encane enekhanda eliqinile eneminyaka emithathu yamukela kuphela lokho ezinqumele yona futhi ezikhulele yona. Lolu uhlobo lokuthambekela ekuzimele, kodwa olune-hypertrophied futhi olunganele emandleni wengane. Akunzima ukuqagela ukuthi ukuziphatha okunjalo kubangela izingxabano nokuxabana nabanye.
Yonke into ebikade ijabulisa, ijwayelekile, ibiza kakhulu iyehla. Amathoyizi ayizintandokazi phakathi nalesi sikhathi abe amabi, ugogo onothando - ezimbi, abazali - bethukuthele. Ingane ingase iqale inhlamba, ibize amagama (kukhona ukwehla kwezinkambiso zakudala zokuziphatha), iphule ithoyizi eliyintandokazi noma iklebhule incwadi (okunamathiselwe ezintweni ezibizayo ngaphambili kuyancishiswa), njll.
Lesi simo singachazwa kahle ngamazwi esazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esidumile u-LS Vygotsky: «Ingane ilwa nabanye, iphikisana njalo nabo.
Kuze kube muva nje, uthando, ingane eneminyaka emithathu ubudala ivame ukuphenduka i-despot yangempela yomndeni. Utshela wonke umuntu oseduze kwakhe izindinganiso nemithetho yokuziphatha: ukuthi yini okufanele amnike yona, yini okufanele agqoke, ngubani ongaphuma ekamelweni futhi ongakwazi, yini okufanele ayenzele ilungu lomndeni elilodwa nokuthi yini kwabanye. Uma kusekhona izingane emndenini, i-despotism iqala ukuthatha izici zomona okhulayo. Ngempela, ngokombono wekinati elineminyaka emithathu ubudala, abafowabo noma odadewabo abanawo nhlobo amalungelo emndenini.
Olunye Uhlangothi Lwenkinga
Izici zenkinga yeminyaka emithathu ebalwe ngenhla zingaphonsa abazali abaningi abajabulayo bezinsana noma abaneminyaka emibili ubudala ekudidekeni. Nokho, yonke into, yebo, ayesabi kangako. Lapho ubhekene nokubonakaliswa okunjalo, kufanele ukhumbule ngokuqinile ukuthi izimpawu ezingezinhle zangaphandle ziwuhlangothi oluphambene lwezinguquko zobuntu ezinhle ezakha incazelo eyinhloko neyinhloko yanoma iyiphi iminyaka ebucayi. Esikhathini ngasinye sokukhula, ingane inezidingo ezikhethekile ngokuphelele, izindlela, izindlela zokuxhumana nezwe kanye nokuqonda ngokwakhe okwamukelekayo kuphela iminyaka ethile. Ngemva kokukhonza isikhathi sabo, kufanele banikeze abasha - okuhluke ngokuphelele, kodwa okuwukuphela okungenzeka esimweni esishintshile. Ukuvela kwentsha kusho ukubuna kwendala, ukwenqatshwa kwezinhlobo zokuziphatha esezinolwazi olunzulu, ukuxhumana nezwe langaphandle. Futhi ngezikhathi zobunzima, kunanini ngaphambili, kunomsebenzi omkhulu owakhayo wokuthuthukiswa, izinguquko ezibukhali, ezibalulekile kanye nezinguquko ebuntwini bengane.
Ngeshwa, kubazali abaningi, “ubuhle” bengane ngokuvamile buxhomeke ngokuqondile ezingeni lokulalela kwayo. Ngesikhathi sobunzima, akufanele uthembele kulokhu. Phela, izinguquko ezenzeka ngaphakathi kwengane, ukuguquka kokukhula kwakhe kwengqondo, azikwazi ukudlula ngaphandle kokuzibonakalisa ekuziphatheni nasebudlelwaneni nabanye.
"Bheka impande"
Okuqukethwe okuyinhloko kwenkinga ngayinye yobudala ukwakheka kwama-neoplasms, okungukuthi ukuvela kohlobo olusha lobudlelwane phakathi kwengane nabantu abadala, ukuguquka kolunye uhlobo lomsebenzi kuya kolunye. Isibonelo, lapho kuzalwa umntwana, kukhona ukujwayela indawo entsha kuye, ukwakheka kwezimpendulo. I-Neoplasms yenkinga yonyaka owodwa - ukwakheka kokuhamba nokukhuluma, ukuvela kwezenzo zokuqala zokubhikisha ngokumelene nezenzo "ezingathandeki" zabantu abadala. Ngenkinga yeminyaka emithathu, ngokocwaningo lososayensi kanye nezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, i-neoplasm ebaluleke kakhulu ukuvela komqondo omusha othi "I". "Mina mina."
Phakathi neminyaka emithathu yokuqala yokuphila kwakhe, umuntu omncane ujwayela izwe elimzungezile, uyalijwayela futhi aziveze njengomuntu ozimele ngokwengqondo. Kule minyaka, kufika isikhathi lapho ingane, njengokungathi, ihlanganisa konke okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni bayo, futhi ngesisekelo sezimpumelelo zayo zangempela, ihlakulela isimo sengqondo kuye, izici ezintsha zobuntu ziyavela. Ngalesi sikhathi, kaningi singakwazi ukuzwa isabizwana esithi «Mina» esivela enganeni esikhundleni segama lakhe lapho ekhuluma ngaye. Kwakubonakala sengathi kuze kube muva nje umntanakho, ebuka esibukweni, embuzweni othi "Ubani lo?" waphendula ngokuziqhenya: "Lena ngamaRom." Manje uthi: "Lona yimi", uyaqonda ukuthi nguye ovezwa ezithombeni zakhe, ukuthi lokhu kungokwakhe, hhayi omunye umntwana, ubuso obunamahloni bumamatheka esibukweni. Ingane iqala ukuzibona njengomuntu ohlukile, ngezifiso nezici zayo, kuvela uhlobo olusha lokuzicabangela. Yiqiniso, ukuqaphela "I" kwengane eneminyaka emithathu ubudala kusahlukile kweyethu. Akukenzeki okwamanje endizeni yangaphakathi, ekahle, kodwa inomlingisi otshalwe ngaphandle: ukuhlola impumelelo yomuntu kanye nokuqhathaniswa kwayo nokuhlolwa kwabanye.
Ingane iqala ukuqaphela «I» yakhe ngaphansi kwethonya okwandayo ukuzimela ezingokoqobo. Kungakho igama elithi "Mina" lengane lixhumene kakhulu nomqondo othi "Mina ngokwami". Isimo sengqondo somntwana emhlabeni esizungezile siyashintsha: manje umntwana akaqhutshwa nje isifiso sokufunda izinto ezintsha, ukwenza kahle izenzo namakhono okuziphatha. Iqiniso elizungezile liba umkhakha wokuzibona umcwaningi omncane. Ingane isivele izama isandla sayo, ihlola amathuba. Uyazigomela, futhi lokhu kunomthelela ekuveleni kokuziqhenya kwezingane - isisusa esibaluleke kakhulu sokuzithuthukisa nokuzithuthukisa.
Umzali ngamunye kumelwe ukuba wabhekana nesimo izikhathi ezingaphezu kwesisodwa lapho kwakushesha futhi kuwusizo kakhudlwana ukwenzela ingane okuthile: mgqokise, uyondle, umyise endaweni efanele. Kuze kube yiminyaka ethile, lokhu kwahamba "ngokungajeziswa", kodwa lapho eneminyaka emithathu, ukuzimela okwandayo kungafinyelela umkhawulo lapho kuyoba okubalulekile ukuba umntwana azame ukwenza konke lokhu yedwa. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kubalulekile kumntwana ukuthi abantu abaseduze kwakhe bathathe ukuzimela kwakhe ngokungathí sina. Futhi uma umntwana engazizwa ukuthi ucatshangelwa, ukuthi umbono wakhe nezifiso zakhe ziyahlonishwa, uqala ukuphikisa. Uvukela uhlaka oludala, ngokumelene nobuhlobo obudala. Lona kanye unyaka lapho, ngokusho kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esidumile saseMelika u-E. Erickson, intando iqala ukwakha, kanye nezimfanelo ezihambisana nayo - ukuzimela, ukuzimela.
Yiqiniso, akulungile neze ukunikeza ingane eneminyaka emithathu ubudala ilungelo lokuqedela ukuzimela: ngemva kwakho konke, njengoba isivele ikwazi okuningi ebusheni bayo, umntwana akakaqapheli ngokugcwele amakhono akhe, akazi ukuthi kanjani. ukuveza imicabango, ukuhlela. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuzwa izinguquko ezenzeka enganeni, izinguquko emkhakheni wakhe wokugqugquzela nesimo sengqondo kuye. Khona-ke ukubonakaliswa okubucayi kwesici somuntu okhulayo kule minyaka kungancishiswa. Ubudlelwano phakathi kwengane nomzali kufanele bungene endleleni entsha futhi busekelwe enhlonipho nasesinekeni sabazali. Isimo sengqondo somntwana kumuntu omdala siyashintsha. Lokhu akusewona nje umthombo wemfudumalo nokunakekelwa, kodwa futhi isibonelo, ukubonakaliswa kokulunga nokuphelela.
Ukuzama ukuchaza ngegama elilodwa into ebaluleke kakhulu etholakala ngenxa yenkinga yeminyaka emithathu, singayibiza, ngokulandela umcwaningi we-psychology yezingane u-MI Lisina, ukuziqhenya ngezimpumelelo. Lena inkimbinkimbi entsha ngokuphelele yokuziphatha, esekelwe esimweni sengqondo esakhula ezinganeni ngesikhathi zisencane mayelana neqiniso, kumuntu omdala njengesibonelo. Kanye nesimo sengqondo ngakuwena, okulamulwa yizimpumelelo zomuntu. Ingqikithi yenkimbinkimbi entsha yokuziphatha kanje: okokuqala, ingane iqala ukulwela ukufeza umphumela womsebenzi wayo - ngokuphikelela, ngenhloso, naphezu kobunzima nokuhluleka okuhlangene. Okwesibili, kunesifiso sokubonisa impumelelo yabo kumuntu omdala, ngaphandle kwemvume kabani lezi zimpumelelo zilahlekelwa ukubaluleka kwazo ngezinga elikhulu. Okwesithathu, kule minyaka, umuzwa ophakeme wokuzethemba uvela - ukucasuka okwandayo, ukufutheka ngokomzwelo ngezinto ezincane, ukuzwela ekuqashelweni kwezimpumelelo zabazali, ogogo nabanye abantu ababalulekile nababalulekile empilweni yengane.
Isexwayiso: iminyaka emithathu
Kuyadingeka ukwazi ukuthi iyini inhlekelele yeminyaka emithathu, futhi yini ebangela ukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kwe-capricious encane kanye ne-brawler. Phela, lokhu kuzokusiza ukwakha isimo sengqondo esifanele kulokho okwenzekayo: umntwana uziphatha ngendlela enengekayo hhayi ngoba yena ngokwakhe "mubi", kodwa ngenxa yokuthi akakwazi ukwenza okunye. Ukuqonda izindlela zangaphakathi kuzokusiza ukuba ubekezelele ingane yakho.
Kodwa-ke, ezimweni ezinzima, ngisho nokuqonda kungase kungenele ukubhekana ne-"whims" kanye "nama-scandals". Ngakho-ke, kungcono ukulungiselela kusengaphambili izingxabano ezingase zibe khona: njengoba bethi, "ukufunda kunzima, ukulwa kulula."
1) Ukuzola, ukuzola kuphela
Ukubonakaliswa okuyinhloko kwalesi simo esibucayi, abazali abaphazamisayo, ngokuvamile kuhlanganisa okuthiwa «ukuqhuma okuphumelelayo» - ukuthukuthela, izinyembezi, ukukhala. Yiqiniso, zingase zenzeke nakwezinye izinkathi zokukhula "ezizinzile", kodwa-ke lokhu kwenzeka kancane kakhulu futhi ngomfutho ophansi. Izincomo zokuziphatha ezimweni ezinjalo zizofana: ungenzi lutho futhi unganqume kuze kube yilapho umntwana ezolile ngokuphelele. Lapho eneminyaka emithathu, usuvele uyayazi ingane yakho ngokwanele futhi cishe unezindlela ezimbalwa zokuthulisa ingane yakho esitokweni. Umuntu usetshenziselwa ukumane akuzibe ukuqubuka okunjalo kwemizwelo engemihle noma ukusabela ngokuzola ngangokunokwenzeka. Le ndlela yinhle kakhulu uma ... isebenza. Kodwa-ke, kunezingane eziningi ezikwazi "ukulwa ngama-hysterics" isikhathi eside, futhi izinhliziyo zomama ezimbalwa zingamelana nalesi sithombe. Ngakho-ke, kungase kube usizo «isihawu» ingane: hug, gqoka amadolo, pat ekhanda. Le ndlela ngokuvamile isebenza ngokungenasici, kodwa akufanele uyisebenzise kabi. Phela, ingane ijwayela ukuthi izinyembezi zayo kanye nezifiso zilandelwa "ukuqiniswa okuhle". Futhi uma esejwayele, uzosebenzisa leli thuba ukuze athole "ingxenye" eyengeziwe yothando nokunakwa. Kungcono ukumisa ukucasuka kokuqala ngokumane ushintshe ukunaka. Lapho eneminyaka emithathu ubudala, izingane zamukela kakhulu yonke into entsha, futhi ithoyizi entsha, ikhathuni, noma ukunikeza okuthile okuthakazelisayo kungamisa ukungqubuzana futhi kusindise izinzwa zakho.
2) Isivivinyo nephutha
Iminyaka emithathu ukuthuthukiswa kokuzimela, ukuqonda kokuqala "lokho engiyikho nalokho engikushoyo kulo mhlaba." Phela, ufuna ingane yakho ikhule ibe umuntu ophile kahle ozethembayo, ozethembayo. Zonke lezi zimfanelo zibekwe lapha futhi manje - ngokusebenzisa izilingo, impumelelo kanye namaphutha. Vumela ingane yakho yenze amaphutha manje, phambi kwamehlo akho. Lokhu kuyomsiza ukuba agweme izinkinga eziningi ezinkulu esikhathini esizayo. Kodwa ngenxa yalokhu, wena ngokwakho kufanele ubone enganeni yakho, ingane yayizolo, umuntu ozimele onelungelo lokuhamba ngendlela yakhe futhi aqondwe. Kutholakale ukuthi uma abazali benciphisa ukubonakaliswa kokuzimela kwengane, ukujezisa noma ukuhleka usulu imizamo yakhe yokuzimela, khona-ke ukuthuthukiswa komuntu omncane kuyaphazamiseka: futhi esikhundleni sentando, ukuzimela, kwakhiwa umuzwa ophakeme wokuhlazeka nokungavikeleki.
Yebo, indlela yenkululeko ayiyona indlela yokuhlangana. Zichazele wena leyo mingcele ukuthi ingane ayinalo ilungelo lokudlulela ngale. Isibonelo, awukwazi ukudlala emgwaqweni womgwaqo, awukwazi ukweqa ama-naps, awukwazi ukuhamba ehlathini ngaphandle kwesigqoko, njll. Kumele unamathele kule mingcele ngaphansi kwanoma yiziphi izimo. Kwezinye izimo, nikeza umntwana inkululeko yokwenza ngokomcabango wakhe.
3) Inkululeko yokuzikhethela
Ilungelo lokuzenzela izinqumo lingenye yezimpawu ezisemqoka zokuthi sizizwa sikhululeke kangakanani esimweni esithile. Ingane eneminyaka emithathu ubudala inombono ofanayo weqiniso. Iningi lezibonakaliso ezimbi zenhlekelele yeminyaka emithathu kusukela "ezinkanyezini eziyisikhombisa" ezichazwe ngenhla ziwumphumela weqiniso lokuthi umntwana akazizwa ekhululekile ezinqumweni zakhe, ezenzweni nasezenzweni zakhe. Yebo, ukuvumela ingane encane eneminyaka emithathu ukuba "endizeni yamahhala" kungaba ukusangana, kodwa kufanele nje uyinikeze ithuba lokuzenzela izinqumo. Lokhu kuzovumela ingane ukuba yenze izimfanelo ezidingekayo ekuphileni, futhi uzokwazi ukubhekana nezinye zezibonakaliso ezimbi zenkinga yeminyaka emithathu.
Ingabe ingane ithi “cha”, “ngeke”, “angifuni” kukho konke? Khona-ke ungayiphoqi! Mnikeze izinto ezimbili ongakhetha kuzo: dweba ngamapeni noma amapensela, hamba egcekeni noma epaki, udle epuleti eliluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka noma eliluhlaza. Uzogcina izinzwa zakho, futhi ingane izojabulela futhi iqiniseke ukuthi umbono wayo uyacatshangelwa.
Ingane inenkani, futhi awukwazi ukuyikholisa nganoma iyiphi indlela? Zama «isiteji» izimo ezinjalo in «ephephile» izimo. Isibonelo, uma ungajahile futhi ungakhetha kukho okuningana. Phela, uma ingane ikwazi ukuvikela umbono wayo, ithola ukuzethemba ngamakhono ayo, ukubaluleka kombono wayo. Inkani iyisiqalo sokuthuthukiswa kwentando, ukufezwa komgomo. Futhi kusemandleni akho ukuyiqondisa kule ndlela, futhi ungakwenzi kube umthombo «imbongolo» izici uhlamvu ukuphila.
Kuyafaneleka futhi ukubalula indlela “yenza okuphambene” eyaziwa ngabanye abazali. Ekhathele “cha” engapheli, “angifuni” nokuthi “ngeke”, umama uqala ukukholisa ingane yakhe ngomdlandla ngokuphambene nalokho azama ukukufeza. Isibonelo, "kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiziphi izimo lala embhedeni", "akumele ulale", "ungalidli leli sobho". Ngomntwana omncane onenkani oneminyaka emithathu, le ndlela ivame ukusebenza. Nokho, ingabe kufanelekile ukuyisebenzisa? Ngisho nangaphandle, kubonakala kungenangqondo kakhulu: ingane ingumuntu ofanayo nawe, noma kunjalo, usebenzisa isikhundla sakho, isipiliyoni, ulwazi, uyamkhohlisa futhi uyamkhohlisa. Ngaphezu kodaba lwezimiso zokuziphatha, lapha singakhumbula elinye iphuzu: inkinga isebenzela ukuthuthukiswa komuntu ngamunye, ukwakheka komlingiswa. Ingabe ingane ehlala "ekhohlisiwe" ngale ndlela izofunda okuthile okusha? Ingabe uyohlakulela izimfanelo ezidingekayo kuye ngokwakhe? Lokhu kungatshazwa kuphela.
4) Iyini impilo yethu? Umdlalo!
Ukwanda kokuzimela kungenye yezici zenkinga yeminyaka emithathu. Ingane ifuna ukwenza yonke into ngokwayo, ngaphandle kokulingana nezifiso zayo kanye namakhono akhe. Ukufunda ukuhlobanisa "ngingakwazi" nokuthi "ngifuna" kuwumsebenzi wokuthuthuka kwayo esikhathini esizayo esiseduze. Futhi uzozama ngalokhu njalo futhi ezimweni ezihlukahlukene. Futhi abazali, ngokubamba iqhaza ekuhloleni okunjalo, bangasiza ngempela ingane ukuba inqobe inkinga ngokushesha, bayenze ibe buhlungu kumntwana ngokwakhe nakuwo wonke umuntu oseduze naye. Lokhu kungenziwa emdlalweni. Kwakuyisazi sakhe sokusebenza kwengqondo esikhulu nochwepheshe ekukhuleni kwengane, u-Eric Erickson, owaqhathanisa “nesiqhingi esiphephile” lapho umntwana “angathuthukisa futhi ahlole ukuzimela kwakhe, ukuzimela.” Umdlalo, nemithetho yayo ekhethekile kanye nezinkambiso ezibonisa ubuhlobo bomphakathi, ivumela ingane ukuba ihlole amandla akhe "kwizimo zokugcina ukushisa", ithole amakhono adingekayo futhi ibone imingcele yamakhono akhe.
Inkinga elahlekile
Konke kuhle ngokulinganisela. Kuhle uma cishe iminyaka emithathu ubudala ubona izimpawu zenkinga yokuqala enganeni yakho. Kungcono nakakhulu lapho, ngemva kwesikhathi esithile, ukhululeka lapho uqaphela ingane yakho enothando neyokwamukelayo, osekhulile kancane. Nokho, zikhona izimo lapho «inhlekelele» - nazo zonke negativity yayo, inkani kanye nezinye izinkathazo - akafuni ukuza. Abazali abangakaze bezwe noma bacabange nganoma yiziphi izinkinga zentuthuko bajabule kuphela. Ingane engenazo izinkinga - yini engaba ngcono? Kodwa-ke, omama nobaba, abaqaphela ukubaluleka kwezinkinga zentuthuko, futhi abangaqapheli noma yiziphi izimpawu "zeminyaka yenkani" emntwaneni wabo weminyaka emithathu kuya kwemithathu nengxenye, baqala ukukhathazeka. Kunombono wokuthi uma inkinga iqhubeka ngobuvila, ngokungabonakali, lokhu kubonisa ukubambezeleka ekuthuthukisweni kwezinhlangothi ezithintekayo nezizibophezele zobuntu. Ngakho-ke, abantu abadala abakhanyiselwe baqala ukubheka umntwana ngokunaka okuphakeme, zama ukuthola okungenani ukubonakaliswa kwenkinga "kusuka ekuqaleni", bahambe baye kodokotela bezengqondo kanye ne-psychotherapists.
Kodwa-ke, ngesisekelo sezifundo ezikhethekile, kwatholakala ukuthi kukhona izingane, lapho zineminyaka emithathu, cishe azibonisi noma yikuphi ukubonakaliswa okungalungile. Futhi uma zitholakala, zidlula ngokushesha kangangokuthi abazali bangase bangaziboni. Akufanelekile ukucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuzothinta kabi ukuthuthukiswa kwengqondo ngandlela-thile, noma ukwakheka kobuntu. Ngempela, enkingeni yentuthuko, into esemqoka akuyona ukuthi iqhubeka kanjani, kodwa lokho okuholela kuyo. Ngakho-ke, umsebenzi oyinhloko wabazali esimweni esinjalo ukuqapha ukuvela kokuziphatha okusha enganeni: ukwakheka kwentando, ukuzimela, ukuziqhenya ngezimpumelelo. Kuyafaneleka ukuthintana nochwepheshe kuphela uma ungakutholi konke lokhu enganeni yakho.