Okuqukethwe
- 1. Ngemva kokuhlukana, ufuna ukuqonda kangcono ukuthi ubudlelwano busebenza kanjani.
- 2. Uma udinga usizo, uya ekwelashweni.
- 3. Awulandeli uchungechunge lobudlelwano obungaphumeleli.
- 4. Uhlupheka ngemva kokuhlukana futhi mhlawumbe uzisole.
- 5. Uyakwazi ukuxolisa ngokweqiniso.
- 6. Awulandeli izimpilo zalowo owakwakho ngokuphikelela.
- 7. Ufundile lesi sihloko
Kuningi okulotshiwe futhi kukhulunywe ngabo namuhla abanye bethu bayazibuza ukuthi kungenzeka yini bona ngokwabo bafakwe kulesi sigaba, ikakhulukazi uma kunomlando wobudlelwane obunobuthi futhi baphume kubo. Uma kukhona okungahambi kahle kwabashadile, sivame ukudideka kangangokuthi asisaziqondi ukuthi singobani. Nazi izimpawu ezimbalwa ezingasiza ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi awuyena umuntu ophuza utshwala.
Ingabe i-narcissist ihlala komunye nomunye wethu? Ngokwezinga elithile, futhi ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, yebo. Futhi lokhu akukubi: ukuzethemba nokuzethemba okuphezulu akukaze kuphazamise noma ubani. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, umuntu kufanele aqonde ukuthi abantu abahlukunyezwa ngempela yi-narcissistic personality disorder bazilungisela bona kuphela futhi abakwazi ukucabangela imizwa yabanye.
Ngemuva kokuhlukana kanzima, kulula ukuqala ukuzisola nganoma yini, kuhlanganise ne-narcissism. Ingabe kwakuphathelene nathi ngempela? Kuthiwani uma sigxila kakhulu kithi futhi siyeka ukuzwa umlingani wethu? Nazi izimpawu eziyisikhombisa ukuthi, lapho ukuhlukana, kuzokusiza uqonde ukuthi awuyena narcissist futhi lokhu kwakungesona neze isizathu sokuhlukana.
1. Ngemva kokuhlukana, ufuna ukuqonda kangcono ukuthi ubudlelwano busebenza kanjani.
Ngemva kokuhlukana, uzama ukuthola ukuthi kwenzekeni nokuthi kungani, ukuze uqonde ukuthi yini eqale kahle yaphela kabi kangaka. Uzigxilisa ekufundeni izincwadi nokukhuluma nochwepheshe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ufuna ukwazi ukuthi kungani usezinhlungwini nobuhlungu obungaka njengamanje. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uNarcissus akanasithakazelo ngokuphelele ekuhloleni konke lokhu - uyazi ukuthi wenze konke ngendlela efanele, futhi inkinga yayikumlingani.
2. Uma udinga usizo, uya ekwelashweni.
Uma uphatheke kabi, ufuna usizo, kanti ama-narcissists ngokuvamile awafuni. Uma i-narcissist nokho iqala ukuya ku-psychotherapy, khona-ke ncamashi kuze kube yilapho eqaphela ukuthi umelaphi "akayena" omuhle ngokwanele, ohlakaniphile, oqondayo. Noma aze abe nomuzwa wokuthi uchwepheshe usezomdalula.
3. Awulandeli uchungechunge lobudlelwano obungaphumeleli.
Ngokunokwenzeka, usuvele unesipiliyoni sokuhlukana ngemuva kwakho. Uke waba sebudlelwaneni phambilini lapho okungahambanga kahle khona. Kuma-narcisists, isimo esifanayo siyaphindwa kubo bonke ubuhlobo. Njengoba bengakwazi ukuthanda futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo bahlale bedinga ukuziqinisekisa futhi bakhulekelwe, abakwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo obuseduze. Okwesikhashana, ziyahlakazeka, zenze sengathi zimnene futhi zinothando, kodwa ngokuvamile ziyahwamuka ngaphambi kokuba zimbulwe.
4. Uhlupheka ngemva kokuhlukana futhi mhlawumbe uzisole.
Ukukhathazeka okukhulayo, ukukhumbula emuva, ukwethuka kanye nokudideka - ukuhlukana okunzima kweningi lethu akunakwa. Kuthatha isikhathi ukudlula kukho. Cishe, uyesaba ukuhlangana ngephutha endaweni ethile nozakwethu wangaphambili - ngisho nasezindaweni ezivulekile zokuxhumana nabantu. Noma yikuphi ukukhulunywa ngaye kuyakucasula.
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, uzama ukucabanga kabusha ngokuziphatha kwakho kanye nendima yakho ebuhlotsheni, ukuqonda lokho okwenzile okungalungile nokuthi kungenzeka yini ukwenza ngenye indlela ukuze usindise inyunyana. Lezi zikhathi zibaluleke kakhulu ukuzilungisa ukuze zingakuvimbeli ekwakheni ubudlelwano obusha.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ama-Narcissists athola imizwa emibili ngemva kokuhlukana: injabulo uma beshiya umlingani wabo ngemva kokuhlangana nomuntu "ongcono", noma intukuthelo uma behlukana nabo. Uma i-ego yakhe ilimele, i-narcissist ingaba nomqondo wokuziphindiselela, ngakho ngemva kokuhlukana kufanele uhlale kude naye.
5. Uyakwazi ukuxolisa ngokweqiniso.
Ngisho noma i-narcissist icela intethelelo, ayiqhutshwa nhlobo ukuzisola, kodwa uhlobo oluthile lokuzicabangela. Kodwa abalingani be-narcissists kufanele baxolise ngaso sonke isikhathi - ngalokhu, okunye, okwesithathu, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokukwenza ukuze ugcine ukuthula emndenini.
6. Awulandeli izimpilo zalowo owakwakho ngokuphikelela.
Isikhathi sokuqala ngemva kokuhlukana, iningi lethu lingena ngokunyenya empilweni yomlingani wangaphambili, kodwa kuma-narcisists, lokhu "kuqala" akupheli. Futhi akukhona ukuthi umgadli usamthanda lo muntu (okungenzeka ukuthi, akakwazi nhlobo ukuthanda), kuyindlela yakhe yokuziqinisekisa.
Kubalulekile ukuthi umgadli enze isiqiniseko sokuthi angambuyisela umlingani wakhe uma ethanda. Ngezinye izikhathi imizamo yokwenza lokhu iqhubeka iminyaka. Isizathu sokuhlala uthintana nomuntu onjalo uma unezingane ezifanayo naye.
7. Ufundile lesi sihloko
Ngokusobala, kodwa nokho: i-narcissist ngeke ifunde izincwadi mayelana ne-narcissism - ngoba nje uthanda yonke into ngaye, futhi asikho isidingo sokuzisebenzela. Ngakho-ke, cishe, uma ufunde le nto kuze kube sekugcineni, ukuhlolwa kuphumelele ngempumelelo.