Okuqukethwe
Indlela yokusiza umuntu osesimweni sokucindezeleka, umenze abe nomuzwa wokuthi akayedwa, ukuthi uyamqonda? Udokotela wengqondo ukhuluma ngamagama abalulekile ukuwezwa kumuntu ohluphekayo.
1. "Yazi nje: Ngihlala ngikhona"
Ngokukwenza kucace ukuthi usukulungele ukuba khona kunoma yisiphi isimo, usuvele unikeza ukwesekwa. Umuntu ohluphekayo uyaqaphela ukuthi kubuhlungu kangakanani, futhi kwesinye isikhathi umthwalo kwabanye, isimo sakhe, futhi uqala ukuzivala kude nabantu. Amazwi akho azomenza azizwe enesizungu futhi enesizungu.
Ungakwazi ngisho nokusho lutho - vele ube lapho, ulalele, noma uthule ndawonye. Ukuba khona kwakho kuzosiza umuntu ukuba anqobe ukuvinjelwa kwangaphakathi, kuzomenza azizwe: usathandwa futhi wamukelekile.
2. "Yini engingayenza ukuze ngikusize?"
Abantu abanenkinga yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo ngokuvamile abakwazi ukuphendula lo mbuzo. Nokho, amazwi akho ayosiza umuntu obhekene nenkathi enzima ukuba azilalele, alalele izifiso zakhe.
Ngisho noma bekuphendula ukuthi awudingi lutho, ngikholelwe - bekubaluleke kakhulu ukuzwa lo mbuzo. Futhi uma umuntu enquma ukutshela futhi umlalele, kuyoba usizo olukhulu kuye.
3. “Ngithanda kakhulu ngawe…”
Ezikhathini zokucindezeleka, silahlekelwa ukuzethemba futhi ngokuvamile sizihlonipha. Futhi uma wenza ukuncoma, ukhomba izinhlangothi eziwinayo nezimfanelo: ukunambitheka okubucayi, ukunakwa nomusa, izici zokubukeka, lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uqale ukuziphatha ngokunaka nothando.
4. "Yebo, ngicabanga ukuthi kunzima futhi akulungile"
Okuhlangenwe nakho okujulile kukwenza ubuyele ngokwengqondo ezenzakalweni ezibangele ngokuphindaphindiwe, futhi indawo ezungezile iqala ukuzwa ukuthi unehaba futhi sekuyisikhathi sokuzidonsa ndawonye.
Esimweni sokucindezeleka, abantu baba yi-hypersensitive, futhi ukuze u-interlocutor athembele kuwe, kubalulekile ukukucacisa ukuthi uhlanganyela imizwelo yakhe. Uyavuma ukuthi akaphathwanga kahle nezimo abhekene nazo zinzima. Uma enomuzwa wokuthi imizwa yakhe ebuhlungu iyamukelwa, futhi ingabukelwa phansi, cishe uyothola amandla okuqhubekela phambili.
5. "Ngizokusiza uthole indlela yakho yokuphuma"
Uma ubona umuntu ecwila ekucindezelekeni okujulile, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukumsiza ukuthi athole ukwesekwa kochwepheshe.
Kubantu abaningi abangakaze bathole ukwelashwa ngaphambili, ithemba lokuya kuchwepheshe liyamangalisa. Ungathintana ne-psychotherapist ngokwakho futhi umeme othandekayo ukuthi ahambe naye ekuqokweni kokuqala. Esimeni sokucindezeleka, ngokuvamile awekho amandla okuphendukela kusizo lwangaphandle, futhi ukusekelwa kwakho kuyoba usizo olukhulu.
6. “Ngiyakuzwa: kwenzeka nakimi”
Uma wena noma othile osondelene nawe eke wabhekana nezimo ezifanayo ekuphileni, sitshele ngakho. Ukuvuleleka kwakho kuzosiza lowo muntu ukuthi akhulume ngokukhululekile.
Lapho ekhuluma ngokukhululeka ngalokho okumhluphayo, ebona ukuthi amazwi ayazwakala, uzizwa engenakuzisiza futhi enesizungu. Futhi kancane kancane isimo sizoqala ukubonakala singenathemba kangako.
Mayelana nombhali: UGene Kim unguprofesa wezifo zengqondo eGeorge Washington University.