Okuqukethwe
Lapho sihlangana nomuntu esingaba umlingani futhi siqala ubuhlobo naye, kungase kubonakale kithi ukuthi sihlangane “nomuntu ofanayo”, ikusasa lethu. Lowo esilungele ukuchitha naye impilo yethu yonke. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungase kuvele ukuthi umlingani akasifanele neze. Sasiphila ekuthunjweni kokukhohlisa nezinhlelo zekusasa elihle, kodwa empeleni singabantu abahluke ngokuphelele. Ukuqonda kanjani ukuthi lokhu kunjalo ngempela?
Uma yonke imizamo yokuthuthukisa ubuhlobo bomkhaya ihluleka, zibuze umbuzo: ingabe kuwufanele ukusindisa umshado? Yebo, sijwayele ukucabanga ukuthi kufanelekile ukwenza ngazo zonke izindleko, kodwa empeleni kungaholela kuphi? Mhlawumbe - eqinisweni lokuthi ukuhlupheka nokunganeliseki ngokuphila komndeni kuzokhula kuphela. Nazi izikhathi ezimbalwa lapho kufanele mhlawumbe ucabange ngokungathi sína isehlukaniso.
1. Ukuphila enkundleni yempi “ngenxa yokulondoloza umkhaya ngenxa yomntwana”
Isimo lapho umshado usekelwe kuphela ekukhulisweni kwengane ehlangene, futhi ubuhlobo babazali bushiya okuningi okufiselekayo. Ukungezwani okwandayo, ukumangalelana, ukuntula izithakazelo ezifanayo nsuku zonke kubhebhethekisa isimo sasekhaya futhi kubangele ukuxabana namahlazo njalo. Bobabili abashadile bahlushwa ukunganeliseki ebudlelwaneni bomndeni futhi abazizwa bedingeka futhi bethandwa.
Ingane ngokwayo ikhulela endaweni engenampilo yezingxabano eziqhubekayo phakathi kwabathandekayo. Ngenxa yalokhu, ebusheni, angase abe nezinkinga ezingokwengqondo futhi enze imodeli engalungile yokwakha ubuhlobo esikhathini esizayo.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuzibuza umbuzo wokuthi kuwufanele ngempela yini ukusindisa umshado, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, kungani. Uma isisusa singumntwana kuphela, khona-ke cishe akufanelekile: ekugcineni, uhlupheka kuphela. Uma bobabili abazali befuna ukwakha ubuhlobo, kubalulekile ukusuka kumodeli womndeni kababa nomama ukuya kumodeli womyeni nomfazi. Lapho ukungezwani sekuphelile, kungase kube khona indawo yenjabulo nemizwa emisha ngomunye nomunye.
2. Isizungu kumbhangqwana
Isimo lapho umlingani oyedwa engakwazi ukuthembela kowesibili, ngoba omunye, omunye, unaye kuphela "ngenjabulo nengcebo", kodwa hhayi "ekuguleni nasebumpofu". Kuzo zonke izinkinga ezinzima kufanele ubhekane nazo ngokwakho. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umlingani ogwema izinkinga uqala ukwenza impilo yomlingani wesibili ibe nzima nakakhulu, njengokungathi imhlolela amandla. Umuzwa ovelayo wobuthakathaka ubangela ulaka nesifiso sokubonisa ukuphakama komuntu siqu, futhi ngenxa yalokhu kuyadingeka ukuthi othandekayo ahluleke.
Ingabe kufanelekile ukuhlala kulobu budlelwano? Emndenini, kubalulekile ukuhlanganisa izinsiza ukuze kufinyelelwe izinhloso ezifanayo, futhi hhayi ukusizakala ngomunye nomunye, ukuhlehla lapho kukhona okungahambi kahle.
3. Ukuba nomuzwa wokuthi ukuhamba kuzokwenza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu.
Kwenzeka ukuthi umlingani - ngokuvamile owesifazane - uqhutshwa ukwesaba ukuthi ukuhamba kuzokwandisa isimo, kubangele ukuhlukunyezwa nokushushiswa. Futhi lokhu kwesaba kukhulu kangangokuthi isisulu sihlala sinobuhlobo nomdlwenguli, sizama ukufeza zonke izidingo ukuze singamthukutheli umngane womshado oshesha ukucasuka.
Ukuphuma esimweni sodlame lwasekhaya kuyadingeka, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukunakekela ukuphepha kwakho kusenesikhathi.
4. Ukujeziswa kwegesi
Isimo lapho umlingani oyedwa enza omunye angabaze impilo yakhe yengqondo. Kancane kancane, ukucindezela kwakha, futhi isisulu siqala ukuzwa ukuthi iqiniso "alikho ngokwalo", futhi umhlukumezi udlulisela izenzo zakhe ezinganele njengento evamile. Isibonelo, umlingani angathola ukuthi umyeni wakhe unomndeni ohlukile - onezingane, izinhlelo ezihlanganyelwe namaphupho. Akukhona nje ukuthi isimo ngokwaso asijabulisi, kodwa futhi umlingani angaqinisekisa umkakhe ukuthi okwenzekayo kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele.
5. Icala kanye nomuzwa wokuthi uhlale ukweleta umlingani wakho
Impilo ifaka izinhlobonhlobo zezilingo emindenini. Abanye abalingani banqoba ngokuqinile noma yiziphi izinkinga nobunzima, bakhule futhi babe namandla. Kodwa futhi kwenzeka ukuthi isimo esidabukisayo sibe indlela yokukhohlisa: “Ukube bekungewena, bengizo … ngishiye (a) ngiyosebenza e-Australia, ngithole ukukhushulelwa emsebenzini, nginikeze (a) izingane imfundo evamile. ” Umuntu wenziwa ukuba acabange ukuthi umlingani ngenxa yakhe ushiye okuthile okubalulekile futhi manje usekweletini esijulile.
Ukubekezelela umuzwa wecala kuthunaza ukuzethemba, futhi ukuphila kancane kancane kuba okungabekezeleleki ngokuphelele. Njengasezimweni ezedlule, isehlukaniso esimweni esinjalo siba ukuphela kwendlela yokuphuma, kodwa kungcono ukulungiselela indlela yakho yokuhlehla kusengaphambili, ngaphandle kokulinda isikhathi lapho indebe yokubekezela iphuphuma futhi akufanele uhambe "ndawo".
Anna Nine
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Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somndeni, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.
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