Okuqukethwe
Imikhuba nezindlela zokuziphatha ezabekwa ebuntwaneni ngokuvamile zisivimbela ukuba sizazise, siphile ukuphila okwanelisayo futhi sijabule. Umbhali u-Peg Streep ubala amaphethini amahlanu okuziphatha nokucabanga okungcono ayekwe ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.
Ukuyeka okwedlule kanye nokubeka nokugcina imingcele yomuntu siqu kungamakhono amathathu abalulekile empilo labo abakhulele emindenini engathandwayo abavame ukuba nenkinga nawo. Ngenxa yalokho, bahlakulela uhlobo olukhathazayo lokunamathela. Ngokuvamile bakha "i-Great Wall of China", ebavumela ukuba bagweme noma yiziphi izingxabano, bekhetha ukungashintshi lutho, nje bangathathi isixazululo senkinga. Noma besaba ukubeka imingcele enengqondo ngenxa yokwesaba ukushiywa futhi, ngenxa yalokho, babambelele ezibophelweni nasebudlelwaneni ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuyeka.
Ngakho yimiphi le mikhuba?
1. Ukuzama ukujabulisa abanye
Izingane ezesabayo ngokuvamile zikhula zibe abantu abadala abakhathazekile abazama ukugcina ukuthula nokuzola ngazo zonke izindlela. Bazama ukujabulisa wonke umuntu, hhayi ukuveza ukunganeliseki, ngoba kubonakala kubo ukuthi noma yimuphi umzamo wokumemezela izithakazelo zabo uzoholela ekungqubuzaneni noma ukuphumula. Uma kukhona okungalungile, bazisole bona, ngakho benza sengathi akwenzekanga lutho. Kodwa leli isu lokulahlekelwa, likuvimbela ukuthi uqhubekele phambili futhi likwenza kalula ube yisisulu sabakhohlisayo.
Ukuzama ngaso sonke isikhathi ukujabulisa umuntu okucasulayo nakho kugcina kubi - uzibeka engozini kakhulu. Izimiso ezifanayo ziyasebenza ebuhlotsheni bomuntu siqu. Ukuze uxazulule ukungqubuzana, udinga ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile ngakho, futhi ungadli ifulegi elimhlophe, ngethemba lokuthi yonke into izozisebenzela ngandlela thize.
2. Ukuzimisela ukubekezelela ukuthukwa
Izingane ezikhulele emindenini lapho ukuthukana kwakuwumkhuba njalo, hhayi ukuthi zibekezelela amazwi acasulayo, ngokuvamile aziboni. Baphelelwa umuzwa wokuphathwa okunjalo, ikakhulukazi uma bengakaqapheli ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni kuye kwalolonga kanjani ubuntu babo.
Ukuze uhlukanise ukuthukwa nokugxeka okwakhayo, naka isisusa sesikhulumi
Noma ikuphi ukugxeka okuqondiswe ebuntwini bomuntu (“Uhlala …” noma “Awusoze…”), amazwi ayiziswana noma ezeyisayo (ayisiphukuphuku, angavamile, avilaphayo, amabhuleki, ama-slob), izitatimende ezihloselwe ukulimaza, ziyinhlamba. Ukunganaki okuthulile - ukwenqaba ukuphendula sengathi awuzwanga, noma ukuphendula ngokudelela noma ukuklolodela emazwini akho - kungolunye uhlobo lwenhlamba.
Ukuze uhlukanise ukuthuka nokugxeka okwakhayo, naka ugqozi lwesikhulumi: ingabe ufuna ukusiza noma ukulimaza? Iphimbo okukhulunywa ngalo la mazwi nalo libalulekile. Khumbula, abantu abacasulayo ngokuvamile bathi bafuna ukugxeka okwakhayo. Kodwa uma ngemva kwamazwi abo uzizwa ungenalutho noma ucindezelekile, khona-ke umgomo wabo wawuhlukile. Futhi kufanele uthembeke ngemizwa yakho.
3. Ukuzama ukushintsha abanye
Uma ucabanga ukuthi umngane noma umlingani wakho udinga ukushintsha ukuze ubuhlobo bakho buphelele, cabanga: mhlawumbe lo muntu ujabule ngakho konke futhi akafuni ukushintsha lutho? Awukwazi ukushintsha muntu. Singashintsha thina kuphela. Futhi uma umlingani engalungile kuwe, thembeka kuwe futhi uvume ukuthi lobu buhlobo abunakwenzeka ukuba nekusasa.
4. Ukuzisola ngokumosha isikhathi
Sonke sibhekana nokwesaba ukulahlekelwa, kodwa abanye bathambekele kakhulu ekukhathazekeni kwalolu hlobo. Ngaso sonke isikhathi uma sicabanga ngokubuqeda noma cha ubudlelwano, sikhumbula ukuthi ingakanani imali, okuhlangenwe nakho, isikhathi namandla esikutshalile. Ngokwesibonelo: “Sesineminyaka eyishumi sishadile, futhi uma ngihamba, kuyovela ukuthi iminyaka eyishumi isichithwe.”
Okufanayo kuya ebuhlotsheni bothando noma ubungane, umsebenzi. Yiqiniso, “utshalo-mali” lwakho alukwazi ukubuyiselwa, kodwa imicabango enjalo ikuvimbela ekunqumeni izinguquko ezibalulekile nezidingekayo.
5. Ukuthembela ngokweqile ekugxekweni kothile (kanye nokwakho) ngokweqile
Esikuzwa ngathi ebuntwaneni (ukudumisa noma ukugxeka okungapheli) kuba yisisekelo semibono yethu ejulile ngathi. Ingane ethole uthando olwanele iyazazisa futhi ayikubekezeleli ukuzama ukuyibukela phansi noma ukuyihlambalaza.
Zama ukuqaphela noma yikuphi ukugxeka okweqile, okomunye umuntu noma okwakho.
Ingane engalondekile enohlobo olukhathazayo lokunamathela, ngokuvamile okwakudingeka ilalele amazwi ayiziswana ngamakhono ayo, “iyamukela” le mibono ephathelene nayo, iba ukuzigxeka. Umuntu onjalo ubheka ukushiyeka kwakhe njengesizathu sakho konke ukwehluleka empilweni: “Angiqashwanga ngoba ngiyisiphukuphuku”, “Angimenywanga ngoba ngiyisicefe”, “Ubudlelwano babhidlika ngoba akukho lutho ngithandeni.”
Zama ukuqaphela noma yikuphi ukugxeka okweqile, okomunye umuntu noma okwakho. Futhi akumele umethembe ngokungenamibandela. Gxila emandleni akho, phikisana "nezwi langaphakathi" elikugxekayo - akuyona into engaphezu kwe-echo yalawo mazwi "owawathola" ebuntwaneni. Ungavumeli abantu ohlezi nabo bakwenze inhlekisa.
Khumbula ukuthi ngokuqaphela amaphethini akho azenzakalelayo afihliwe, uzothatha isinyathelo sokuqala soshintsho olubalulekile.