Ukuthuthukiswa kobuchwepheshe kuthinta impilo yocansi, kunikeza amathuba obekungacatshangwa ngaphambilini. Isibonelo, thumelanani imiyalezo nezithombe zemvelo esondelene. Kukhona negama elihlukile lale nto - ukuthumela imiyalezo yocansi. Yini egqugquzela abesifazane ukuthi benze lokhu futhi yiziphi izisusa zamadoda?
Ukuthumela imiyalezo yocansi kuyinto evamile: kokubili uJeff Bezos (usomabhizinisi, inhloko ye-Amazon. - Approx. ed.), u-Rihanna, kanye nabantu abasha bahlanganyela kukho, nakuba ngokwezinga elincane kunalokho umuntu angase acabange, uma ukholelwa ukuthi izihloko zezindaba ezisencwadini abezindaba. Futhi ayikho impendulo elula embuzweni wokuthi kungani senza lokhu.
Nokho, lokhu akusho ukuthi umbuzo ngokwawo akufanele ubuzwe. Ocwaningweni lwakamuva, isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu uMorgan Johnstonbach waseNyuvesi yase-Arizona ubuze abasha abaphendula - abafundi abangu-1000 abavela emakolishi ayisikhombisa - ukuthi yini eqale ibaqhubela ukuthumela imiyalezo yocansi, futhi bazibuza ukuthi izisusa zabesilisa nabesifazane ziyehluka yini. Ukwazile ukuhlonza izizathu ezimbili ezibalulekile ezigqugquzela ozakwethu ukuthi bathumele izithombe zabo benqunu: impendulo esicelweni somamukeli kanye nesifiso sokukhulisa ukuzethemba kwabo.
Isizathu esivame kakhulu - sokuba nomamukeli - sasifana kubo bobabili abesifazane (73%) nabesilisa (67%). Ngaphezu kwalokho, u-40% wabaphenduli babo bobabili ubulili bavumile ukuthi bathumele izithombe ezinjalo ukuze banelise isicelo sozakwethu. Isiphetho sokugcina samangaza umcwaningi: “Kuvela ukuthi abesifazane nabo bayakucela lokhu kozakwethu, futhi bahlangana nabo phakathi.”
Kodwa-ke, abesifazane banamathuba angu-4 ngaphezu kwamadoda ukuthumela izithombe zabo kubo ukuze bangalahlekelwa isithakazelo kubo futhi baqale ukubuka izithombe zabanye abantu besifazane. Lokhu kuwubufakazi bokuthi kusenezimo ezimbaxambili emphakathini, isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu siyaqiniseka: “Ngafunda izincwadi eziningi eziphathelene nobudlelwano nomkhakha oseduze, futhi ngangilindele ukuthi kuzoba nengcindezi eyengeziwe kwabesifazane kulokhu: bazizwa uphoqelekile ukuthumela imiyalezo enjalo” .
Kodwa, njengakwezinye izindaba eziphathelene nocansi ngandlela thize, ubudlelwano babesifazane abathumelelana imiyalezo yocansi buyinkimbinkimbi futhi abuhambisani nohlelo "lokubuzile - ngithumele". U-Johnstonbach uthole ukuthi abesifazane banamathuba angu-4 ngaphezulu kunamadoda okuthumela imilayezo enjalo ukuze bathole ukuzethemba kubo, kanye nezikhathi ezi-2 kaningi ukuze bakhulise ukuzethemba kwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abelaphi bobulili bayaqaphela ukuthi abesifazane bavulwa ngokuqaphela ukuthi bayafiswa.
Umphakathi ukhawulela amadoda ebudodeni, futhi ababoni ukuthi kungenzeka ukuvezwa ngale ndlela.
“Ukushintshisana ngemiyalezo enjalo kudala indawo lapho owesifazane ekwazi ukuveza ubulili bakhe ngokuphephile futhi ahlole umzimba wakhe,” kuchaza isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu. Ngakho-ke, mhlawumbe umdlalo ufanelekile ikhandlela, nakuba izigxobo ziphakeme lapha: kuhlale kunengozi yokuthi izithombe ezinjalo zizobonwa yilabo ababengahlosiwe. Maningi amacala anjalo, futhi, njengomthetho, ngabesifazane ababa yizisulu.
Okusho ukuthi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngokuthumela imiyalezo enjalo, abesifazane baqiniseka ngokwengeziwe ngokwabo, ngakolunye uhlangothi, bavame ukukholelwa ukuthi kufanele bakwenze. U-Anna oneminyaka engu-23 uyakhumbula: “Ukuze ngenze lowo engangishade naye aphendule imiyalezo yangaphambili noma akhulume nami, kwakudingeka ngimthumelele imiyalezo “engcolile” ngemva kwakhe. — Empeleni, yingakho waba owokuqala. Kodwa, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukwanda kokuthakasela kwakhe, vele, kwakumnandi kimi.
Abesifazane bayaqaphela ukuthi lapho becela ukuthumela izithombe "ze-nqunu", amadoda ngokuvamile awaqondi ukuthi yiliphi izinga lokuthembela elidingekayo kulokhu. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, amadoda ngokwawo ngokuvamile ayamangala ukuzwa isicelo esifanayo. Ngakho-ke, uMax oneminyaka engu-22 ubudala uyavuma ukuthi akazange athumele amantombazane izithombe zakhe efomini elinqunu futhi akakuboni kudingekile ukwenza lokhu.
“Emakethe yokuqomisana, amadoda nabesifazane “banempahla” ehlukene. Insizwa ingaziqhayisa ngemali eyitholayo noma iziphathe ngendlela yabesilisa kakhulu — kunenkolelo yokuthi lokhu kwandisa amathuba ethu futhi kusenze sithandeke emehlweni amantombazane. Amantombazane ahlukile."
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, amadoda asekuhlanganiseni okusobala - awekho ngaphansi kwengcindezi efana nabesifazane. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kubonakala sengathi injabulo yokuthumela imiyalezo yocansi iyatholakala kubo ngokwezinga elincane. Kungani, ngisho nangemva kokuthumela izithombe zokusondelana, amadoda engezwani nokuzethemba okufana nokwabesifazane? UJohnstonbach uzofuna impendulo yalo mbuzo esikhathini esizayo.
"Mhlawumbe yingoba umphakathi ubekela amadoda umkhawulo ebudodeni futhi abacabangi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuziveza ngaleyo ndlela," uyaphakamisa. Noma ngabe yikuphi, ngesikhathi esilandelayo lapho usuzothumelela othile isithombe sakho unqunu, yehlisa ijubane futhi ucabange ukuthi kungani wenzela.