Okuqukethwe
Ngemva kokuhlukana, abaningi baqinisekile: abafuni neze ukuvumela umlingani onjalo noma umlingani ekuphileni kwabo futhi. Nokho bayakwenza. Sivame ukwakha ubudlelwano namadoda nabesifazane bohlobo olufanayo. Kungani?
Muva nje, abacwaningi abavela e-Canada bahlaziye idatha evela kubahlanganyeli ocwaningweni lomndeni lwesikhathi eside lwaseJalimane lapho abesifazane namadoda kusukela ngo-2008 behlinzeka njalo ngolwazi olumayelana nabo kanye nobudlelwano babo futhi bagcwalisa izivivinyo mayelana nokuthi bavuleleke kangakanani, banonembeza, banobudlelwane, babekezelela, bakhathazeke kangakanani. Ababambiqhaza abangu-332 bashintshe ozakwethu ngalesi sikhathi, okuvumele abacwaningi ukuthi bafake kokubili ozakwethu bempilo bangaphambili nabamanje kuhlolovo.
Abacwaningi bathole ukugqagqana okubalulekile kumaphrofayela ozakwethu bangaphambili nabasha. Sekukonke, ukuphambana kwemigwaqo kuqoshwe izinkomba ezingama-21. "Imiphumela yethu ibonisa ukuthi ukukhetha umlingani kubikezelwa kakhulu kunalokho obekulindelwe," ababhali bocwaningo babelana.
Nokho, kukhona okuhlukile. Labo abangabhekwa njengabavuleleke kakhulu (ama-extroverts) bakhetha ozakwethu abasha hhayi ngokungaguquki njengama-introverts. Mhlawumbe, abacwaningi bakholelwa, ngoba umbuthano wabo womphakathi ubanzi futhi, ngokufanelekile, ucebile ekukhetheni. Kodwa mhlawumbe iphuzu eliphelele ukuthi ama-extroverts afuna okuhlangenwe nakho okusha kuzo zonke izici zokuphila. Banentshisekelo kukho konke okusha, okungakahlolwa.
Nokho kungani abaningi bethu befuna uhlobo olufanayo lwabalingani, naphezu kwazo zonke izinhloso zokungawaphindi amaphutha? Lapha, ososayensi bangaqagela kuphela futhi babeke imibono ecatshangelwayo. Mhlawumbe sikhuluma ngokuqondana okulula, ngoba sivame ukukhetha umuntu endaweni yenhlalo esiyijwayele. Mhlawumbe sikhangwa into eyaziwayo neyaziwayo. Noma mhlawumbe thina, njengama-recidivists angenakulungiseka, sihlale sibuyela endleleni eshayiwe.
Ukuthi nhla nje kwanele bese kwenziwa isinqumo
Umxhumanisi ngobudlelwano kanye nombhali wencwadi ethi Who's Right For Me? Yena + Yena = Inhliziyo ”UChristian Thiel unempendulo yakhe: uhlelo lwethu lokuthola umaqondana luvela ebuntwaneni. Kubantu abaningi, lokhu, maye, kungaba yinkinga.
Ake sithathe indaba ka-Alexander njengesibonelo. Uneminyaka engu-56 ubudala, futhi izinyanga ezintathu manje unothando oluncane. Igama lakhe ngu-Anna, mncane, futhi u-Alexander wayethanda izinwele zakhe ezinde eziblond kangangokuthi akazange aqaphele ukuthi umngane wakhe "ongafani naye" ukhumbuza umanduleli wakhe, uMaria oneminyaka engu-40 ubudala. Uma ubabeka eceleni ungathi bangosisi.
Izinga esihlala sithembekile ngalo kithina ekukhetheni ozakwethu liqinisekiswa yizihlabani zamamuvi nemiboniso yebhizinisi. ULeonardo DiCaprio ukhangwa uhlobo olufanayo lwamamodeli ablonde. U-Kate Moss - kubafana abanesiphetho esiphukile abadinga usizo, ngezinye izikhathi - ukungenelela kwe-narcologist. Uhlu lungaqhutshwa unomphela. Kodwa kungani bewela kalula isiyelo esifanayo? Zakhiwa kanjani izikimu zabo zokukhetha ozakwethu? Futhi iba nini inkinga yangempela?
Siphonsa kalula ukunaka kwethu kulabo abangangeni esikhunjeni sethu.
UChristian Thiel uyaqiniseka ukuthi ukukhetha kwethu kunqunyelwe uhlaka oluqinile lohlelo olufanayo. Thatha, isibonelo, uChristina oneminyaka engu-32 ubudala, onebala elithambile lezimoto zakudala ze-retro. UChristina useneminyaka emihlanu eyedwa manje. Ngolunye usuku, ngesikhathi elinde indiza, wabamba iso lendoda - enamandla, enezinwele ezimhlophe. Owesifazane wacishe waphenduka ngokushesha, wathumela indoda “kubhasikidi.” Wayehlale ethanda izinwele ezincane nezimnyama, ngakho ngisho noma "umbukeli" wayenegaraji lonke lezimoto zakudala, wayengeke alingeke.
Siphonsa kalula ukunaka kwethu kulabo abangangeni esikhunjeni sethu. Lokhu, njengoba abacwaningi bathola, kuthatha ingxenye encane nje yomzuzwana. Ngakho ukubuka okukodwa okufushane kwanele ukwenza isinqumo sokugcina.
Umcibisholo we-Cupid kusukela ebuntwaneni
Yebo, asikhulumi ngothando oluyisaga lapho beqala ukubona abantu abaningi abakholelwa kulo. Umuzwa ojulile usathatha isikhathi, uThiel uyaqiniseka. Kunalokho, kulesi sikhathi esifushane, sihlola ukuthi siyakuthola yini okunye okufiselekayo. Ngokombono, lokhu kufanele kubizwe ngokuthi i-erotica. Ezinganekwaneni zamaGreki, leli gama, yiqiniso, lalingekho, kodwa kwakukhona ukuqonda okuqondile kwenqubo ngokwayo. Uma ukhumbula, u-Eros wadubula umcibisholo wegolide owathungela umbhangqwana ngaso leso sikhathi.
Iqiniso lokuthi umcibisholo ngezinye izikhathi ushaya "khona enhliziyweni" ezimweni eziningi ungachazwa ngendlela engathandeki ngokuphelele - ngesimo sengqondo kumzali wobulili obuhlukile. Ubaba kaChristina ovela esibonelweni sokugcina wayeyi-brunette encane. Manje, lapho esevile eminyakeni engu-60, usekhuluphele futhi usempunga, kodwa enkumbulweni yendodakazi yakhe useyinsizwa eyaya nayo enkundleni yokudlala ngeMigqibelo futhi imfundela izinganekwane kusihlwa. Uthando lwakhe lokuqala olukhulu.
Ukufana kakhulu akukuvumeli inkanuko: ukwesaba ukulala nesihlobo kuhlezi kujule kakhulu kithi.
Leli phethini lokuthola okhethiwe lisebenza uma ubuhlobo phakathi kowesifazane noyise babubuhle. Khona-ke, lapho ehlangana, yena - ngokuvamile engazi - ufuna amadoda afana naye. Kodwa indida ukuthi ubaba nokhethiwe bobabili bafana futhi bahlukene ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ukufana kakhulu akukuvumeli inkanuko: ukwesaba ukulala nesihlobo kuhlezi kujule kakhulu kithi. Lokhu, yiqiniso, kusebenza nakumadoda afuna abesifazane ngomfanekiso kamama wabo.
Ukukhetha umlingani ofana nomzali wobulili obuhlukile, sivame ukunaka umbala wezinwele, ukuphakama, ubukhulu, izici zobuso ngokungazi. Eminyakeni embalwa edlule, abacwaningi baseHungary babala inani lezifundo ezingu-300. Bahlola, phakathi kokunye, ibanga eliphakathi kwamehlo, nobude bekhala nobubanzi besilevu. Futhi bathola ubuhlobo obucacile phakathi kwezici zobuso bobaba nabalingani bamadodakazi. Isithombe esifanayo samadoda: omama babo baphinde basebenza njenge "prototypes" yabalingani.
Hhayi kubaba hhayi kumama
Kodwa kuthiwani uma isipiliyoni sikamama noma ubaba sasingesihle? Kulokhu, “sivotela iqembu eliphikisayo.” "Ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami, cishe abantu abangu-20% bafuna umlingani oqinisekisiwe ukuthi ngeke abakhumbuze umama noma ubaba," kuchaza uchwepheshe. Yilokhu okwenzeka kuMax oneminyaka engu-27: unina wayenezinwele ezinde ezimnyama. Njalo lapho ehlangana nowesifazane walolu hlobo, ukhumbula izithombe kusukela ebuntwaneni ngakho-ke ukhetha abalingani abangafani nonina.
Kodwa akulandeli kulolu cwaningo ukuthi ukuthandana nohlobo olufanayo kuyiphutha. Kunalokho, lesi yithuba lokuzindla: singafunda kanjani ukuphatha izimfanelo zozakwethu omusha ngendlela ehlukile ukuze singanyatheli erekeni efanayo.