Lapho sihlangana nabantu abasha, siziveza kubo sisuka ohlangothini oluhle kakhulu futhi sigcina ubuhlobo nalabo abanezimfanelo ezisifanelekela kangcono. Isu elikahle, kepha lincisha ubudlelwano bokuzenzela futhi likhawulela umbuthano wokuxhumana.
U-“Mina” wethu unezici eziningi. Singaqiniseka futhi sibe nobuciko, sibe nomona futhi sibe nothando, sizolile futhi sibe nokubhuqa. Ekukhuleni kwethu, siyaqonda ukuthi izici ezithile ze-"I" yethu zidonsa ukunaka kwabanye kakhulu. Futhi yingakho sivame ukukhula, sibafake “ekhadini lethu lokuvakasha”. Ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni obubalulekile kithi. Futhi sisebenzisa leli khadi ukuphila kwethu konke lapho sidinga ukuvela kumuntu esimthandayo kuqala, kusho umelaphi womndeni u-Assael Romanelli.
Isifaniso esinomhlangano webhizinisi silungile: uma sihlangana nozakwethu bebhizinisi, sibakhombisa amakhadi ethu ebhizinisi siqu ngokungazi, futhi baveze awabo. Futhi ubuhlobo buzoqhubeka kuphela uma sithanda esikubonile.
Ngakho-ke, kugcizelela i-Romanelli, siheha ezimpilweni zethu labo “amakhadi abo ebhizinisi” ahambisana nawethu. Okungukuthi, labo abakuthola kulula ukuxhumana ngokuqondile nabantu abafana nathi. Uma “ikhadi lakho lebhizinisi” lithi ungumuntu onamahloni, uzothola kalula ulimi oluvamile nomuntu onekhono lokuthola ulimi oluvamile olunabantu abanamahloni. Mhlawumbe ikhadi lakhe likhombisa ukuthi “unguthisha”, “umholi” noma “umzali”.
Amathuba anomkhawulo
Uma uthi nhlá, leli su libonakala lifanelekile. Kodwa ine-drawback ephawulekayo. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi ngokuphindaphindiwe uthola ukwazi futhi ungene ebudlelwaneni "nokuhlukahluka kwendikimba" yomuntu oyedwa. Kunjalo impela lapho “bobathathu abayeni befana nepulani” noma “zonke izintombi zami zithanda ukukhononda.” Okusho ukuthi, amathuba akho akhawulelwe emaphethini okuziphatha ojwayele ukuwakhombisa.
Ingabe isigqi sekhadi lakho?
Okuxakayo, kodwa isethi yezimfanelo zomhlaba wonke ezingangena kuzo zonke izimo ngaphandle kokukhetha azikho. Ukuhlala uvumelana nezimo, ukusebenzisa “amakhadi okushaya ucingo” amaningi ngesikhathi esisodwa kuyisu elinenzuzo enkulu. Ngezindlela eziningi, “amakhadi ebhizinisi” ethu siqu asebenza “njengezibuko” esibuka ngazo umhlaba. Zibonisa izinkolelo zethu futhi ziheha kithi abantu abafana nezethu noma uhlobo olusifanelekelayo.
Kodwa uma ufuna okuthile okuhluke kakhulu ukuthi kuvele empilweni yakho, kufanele uguqule i-optics yakho! Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Nazi izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezakhiwe ngu-Assael Romanelli. Uma unomlingani, mfake ohlelweni lokudala “ikhadi lebhizinisi” elisha.
- Thola ukuthi "ikhadi lokushaya" lobudlelwano bakho libukeka kanjani njengamanje. Thola izimfanelo ezinhlanu ezinhle zaleli khadi lebhizinisi - liwusizo kanjani ekuxhumekeni kwakho.
- Vumela umlingani wakho ukuthi afunde le nto futhi abuze ukuthi uyazi yini ukuthi "ikhadi lakho lokushaya" liyini ebudlelwaneni. Uma wena ngokwakho ungakwazi ukukubona, vumela othandekayo wakho akusize.
- Chaza ephepheni amakhadi akho amabili ebhizinisi owasebenzisa ebuhlotsheni. Zibonise umlingani wakho bese uzama ukukhuluma naye mayelana nalawa makhadi. Zavela nini futhi ngaphansi kwaziphi izimo? Uzuzani ngokuzisebenzisa - futhi yini ophuthelwa yiyo?
- Buza othandekayo wakho ukuthi akutshele ukuthi ubona kanjani "ikhadi lokushayela" eliyinhloko lobudlelwane. Ngokuvamile kukhona ukuxhumana okuthile phakathi “kwamakhadi ebhizinisi” abantu ababili, akha amapheya efomu elithi “umzali/ingane”, “uthisha/umfundi”, “umholi/isigqila”, “ababuthakathaka/abanamandla”, njalo njalo.
- Zibuze: yiziphi izici ozikhumbulayo “kumakhadi ebhizinisi”? Ngamunye wethu unesitolo esikhulu samasu nemizwa ehlukene. Kodwa abanye babo bangaleyo ngxenye yethu ethi ku-psychoanalysis ibizwa ngokuthi iShadow. Lezi yizibonakaliso ukuthi ngenxa yezizathu ezithile siyenqaba, sizibheke njengezingafaneleki. Umthandi onothando "angaphila" ngaphakathi kumuntu onesizotha, futhi umuntu ofuna ukuphumula nokwamukela ama-caress "angaphila" ngaphakathi kwesibalo esisebenzayo. Futhi singasebenzisa lokhu kubonakaliswa lapho sihlanganisa "amakhadi ebhizinisi" amasha.
- Sebenzisa amakhadi ebhizinisi amasha ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ngokwenza lokhu, ubonisa izici zethunzi zobuntu bakho - futhi ungase ukuthande lokho.
Ungamangali uma umlingani wakho ephikisana nezinguquko ekuziphatheni kwakho. Lokhu kuvamile: ushintsha isistimu ngokwayo! Cishe uzozama ukubuyisela konke "njengoba kwakunjalo", ngoba lokhu kuyindaba evamile futhi eqondakalayo. Kodwa-ke, ngokuthuthukisa izimfanelo ezintsha kuwe, uyamsiza ukuthi athole izinhlangothi ezintsha zakhe. Woza "namakhadi okushaya" amasha: ngale ndlela uzokwenza impilo yakho inothe futhi ibe mnandi, futhi uzokwazi nokuthola izici ezintsha ebudlelwaneni obukhona.