Okuqukethwe
Ngokuphithizela kwempilo yesimanje, ukunakekela izingane, izikweletu ezingakhokhiwe, ukucindezeleka kwansuku zonke, akumangazi ukuthi imibhangqwana eminingi ikuthola kunzima ukuthola isikhathi sokuxhuma. Ngakho-ke, isikhathi lapho ukwazi ukuba wedwa sibalulekile. Nakhu ochwepheshe bezengqondo beluleka ukuba bakwenze ukugcina ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nozakwenu.
Umbhede womshado yindawo lapho ninodwa khona, kufanele kube indawo yokulala, ucansi nokuxoxa. Imibhangqwana ejabulayo isisebenzisa kahle leso sikhathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ihora ngosuku noma imizuzu eyi-10. Balandela amasiko asiza ukugcina ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni.
1. Ungakhohlwa ukuphinda usho ukuthi bayathandana
“Naphezu kwezinkathazo zosuku nakho konke okukucasulayo ngomunye nomunye, ukukhathazeka ngekusasa, ungakhohlwa ukukhumbuza isithandwa sakho ukuthi umthanda kangakanani. Kubalulekile ukuthi ungabubuli ngokuthi “Ngiyakuthanda,” kodwa ukusho ngokungathí sina,” kutusa isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uRyan House.
2. Zama ukuyolala ngesikhathi esifanayo
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKurt Smith sithi: “Ngokuvamile abantu abashadile ababonani usuku lonke, bachitha ubusuku ngokwehlukana futhi balale ngezikhathi ezihlukene. “Kodwa imibhangqwana ejabule ayiphuthelwa ithuba lokuba ndawonye — ngokwesibonelo, ixubha amazinyo ayo bese iyolala. Kuyasiza ekugcineni imfudumalo nokusondelana ebudlelwaneni.”
3. Vala amafoni nezinye izisetshenziswa
“Ezweni lanamuhla, yonke into ihlale ithintana, futhi lokhu akushiyi isikhathi sokuba abalingani baxhumane—izingxoxo, ububele, ukusondelana ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba. Lapho umlingani ecwiliswe ngokuphelele ocingweni, kuba sengathi akekho nawe ekamelweni, kodwa kwenye indawo, kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKari Carroll. — Imibhangqwana eminingi abeza ukuzokwelashwa futhi babone le nkinga yethula imithetho emndenini: «izingcingo zivaliwe ngemva 9 pm» noma «awakho amafoni embhedeni.
Ngakho-ke balwa nokulutheka ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, okukhuthaza ukukhiqizwa kwe-dopamine (inesibopho sezifiso nesisusa), kodwa icindezela i-oxytocin, ehlotshaniswa nemizwa yokusondelana ngokomzwelo nothando.
4. Nakekela ukulala okunempilo nokugcwele
“Uma siqhathaniswa neseluleko sokuqabulana, nithandane, noma nitshele umngane wakho womshado ukuthi uyamthanda, iseluleko sokulala kamnandi asizwakali njengesothando,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMichelle Weiner-Davies, umbhali wencwadi ethi Stop the. Isehlukaniso. “Kodwa ukulala kwekhwalithi kubaluleke kakhulu empilweni yengqondo nasenhlalakahleni, kukusiza ukuthi utholakale ngokomzwelo ngosuku olulandelayo. Uma unenkinga yokulala futhi ungakwazi ukuzixazulula ngokwakho, khuluma nochwepheshe ongakusiza wenze uhlobo lomuthi olunempilo.”
5. Khumbula ukubonga
“Umuzwa wokubonga unomphumela onenzuzo esimweni sengqondo nesimo sengqondo, kungani ningabonisi ukubonga ndawonye? Ngaphambi kokuyolala, sitshele ukuthi kungani ubonga usuku nomunye nomunye, kusikisela uRyan House. — Mhlawumbe lezi ezinye izimfanelo zomlingani ozazisayo ngokukhethekile, noma izenzakalo ezijabulisayo zosuku oludlule, noma enye into. Ngaleyo ndlela ungaqeda usuku ngendlela eyakhayo.”
6. Ungazami ukulungisa izinto
“Emibhangqwaneni ejabulayo, abathandanayo abazami ukuxazulula zonke izingxabano ngaphambi kokuyolala. Akuwona umqondo omuhle ukuba nezingxoxo ezingathi sína ngezihloko eningavumelani ngazo, lapho nobabili nikhathele futhi kuba nzima kakhulu ukubamba imizwa, kuxwayisa u-Kurt Smith. “Izithandani eziningi zenza iphutha lokuxabana ngaphambi kokulala, kungcono ukusebenzisa lesi sikhathi ngokusondelana kunokuqhelana.”
7. Zinike isikhathi sokukhuluma ngemizwa.
“Ozakwethu bahlale bexoxa ngakho konke okubakhathazayo futhi banikezane ithuba lokuxoxa. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kusihlwa kufanele kunikezwe ukuxoxa ngezinkinga, kodwa kufanelekile ukuthatha imizuzu engu-15-30 ukwabelana ngolwazi futhi usekele umlingani wakho. Ngakho ubonisa ukuthi uyayikhathalela leyo ngxenye yempilo yakhe engahlobene ngqo nawe, weluleka uKari Carroll. “Ngifundisa amakhasimende ukuthi alalele izikhalo zophathina bawo futhi angazami ukusheshe afune izixazululo ezinkingeni.
Ezimweni eziningi, abantu bayalibonga ithuba lokukhuluma. Ukuzizwa uqondwa futhi usekelwe kukunikeza amandla akusiza ukuthi ubhekane kangcono nokucindezeleka ngosuku olulandelayo.”
8. Izingane azivunyelwe ekamelweni.
“Igumbi lokulala kufanele libe yindawo yakho yangasese, etholakala abantu ababili kuphela. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane zicela ukuba embhedeni wabazali bazo lapho zigula noma ziphupha kabi. Kodwa ezimweni eziningi, akufanele uvumele izingane zingene ekamelweni lakho, kugcizelela uMichelle Weiner-Davies. Umbhangqwana udinga indawo yomuntu siqu kanye nemingcele ukuze uhlale useduze.