Lapho sikhula, sizuza ulwazi oluthe xaxa. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi akwanele ukuqhubeka nokuthola injabulo nemizwelo emisha. Bese sizibandakanya kukho konke okungathí sina: sinquma ukugxuma nge-parachute noma sinqobe i-Elbrus. Futhi ingabe umsebenzi ongahlukumezi kangako, isibonelo, umculo, ungasiza kulokhu?
“Ngesinye isikhathi, lapho sengimdala, ngabona ukuthi lapho kukhala upiyano, kukhona into eba yiqhwa kimi futhi ngithola intokozo yobuntwana,” u-Elena oneminyaka engu-34 ulandisa ngomlando wakhe wobudlelwano nensimbi. — Ngiseyingane, angizange ngibonise isithakazelo esikhulu emculweni, kodwa abangane bami baya esikoleni somculo ekilasini lepiyano, futhi ngababona belungiselela amakilasi izikhathi eziningana. Ngababuka njengokungathi baphothiwe futhi ngacabanga ukuthi kwakunzima, kuyabiza, kudinga ithalente elikhethekile. Kodwa akwenzekanga. Kuze kube manje, ngisaqala "indlela yami emculweni", kodwa sengivele nganelisekile ngomphumela. Ngezinye izikhathi ngiyakhungatheka lapho iminwe yami ifika endaweni engafanele noma idlala kancane kakhulu, kodwa ukujwayela kusiza kakhulu ohlelweni lokufunda: imizuzu engamashumi amabili, kodwa zonke izinsuku, kunikeza isikhathi esingaphezu kwesifundo samahora amabili kanye ngesonto.
Ingabe ukuqala ukwenza into entsha lapho usumdala kuyinhlekelele noma, ngokuphambene, umzamo wokuphuma kukho? Noma akunjalo? Sikhuluma ngalokhu nodokotela wezengqondo, ilungu le-Association for Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapy, umbhali wencwadi ethi “Yiba Wangempela!” UKirill Yakovlev:
“Izinto ezintsha zokuzilibazisa lapho usumdala ngokuvamile zingenye yezimpawu zenkinga yobudala. Kodwa inkinga (kusuka kwesiGreki "isinqumo", "inkathi yokuguqula") ayibi njalo, uchwepheshe uqinisekile. - Abaningi baqala ukungena ngentshiseko kwezemidlalo, banakekele impilo yabo, bafunde ukudansa, umculo noma ukudweba. Abanye bakhetha indlela ehlukile—baqala ukugembula, ukuya kuma-club entsha, ukuzidweba umzimba, ukuphuza utshwala. Nokho, kuyafaneleka ukukhumbula ukuthi ngisho nezinguquko ezizuzisayo ekuphileni zingaba ubufakazi bezinkinga ezingaxazululeki. Abantu abaningi benza lokho kanye ngokwesaba kwabo: bababalekela ngakolunye uhlangothi - ukuzikhandla, ukuzilibazisa, ukuhamba. "
I-Psychologies.ru: Ingabe isimo somshado sinethonya ekukhetheni umsebenzi omusha, noma "umndeni, izingane, i-mortgage" ingacisha noma iyiphi intshisekelo ku-bud?
UKirill Yakovlev: Ubudlelwano bomndeni, yiqiniso, bunomthelela ekukhetheni umsebenzi omusha, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ikhono lokunikela isikhathi kuwo ngokuhlelekile. Emsebenzini wami, ngivame ukuhlangana nezimo lapho umlingani oyedwa, esikhundleni sokusekela omunye emzamweni omusha (ukuzijabulisa kokudoba, ukudweba, amakilasi ochwepheshe be-Culinary), ngokuphambene nalokho, uqala ukuthi: "Ingabe unayo enye into ongayenza? ”, “Kungcono uthole umsebenzi ohlukile.» Ukunganakwa okunjalo kwezidingo zokhethiweyo kuthinta kabi umbhangqwana futhi kudala inkinga ebuhlotsheni bomndeni. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungcono ukwabelana ngesithakazelo somlingani, noma okungenani ungamphazamisi. Enye inketho ukuzama ukwengeza imibala ekhanyayo empilweni yakho ngokwakho.
- Yiziphi izinqubo ezenziwa emizimbeni yethu lapho siqala ukwenza okuthile okusha?
Yonke into entsha yobuchopho bethu ihlale iyinselele. Lapho, esikhundleni sezinto ezivamile, siqala ukuyilayisha ngokuhlangenwe nakho okusha, lokhu kusebenza njengesikhuthazo esihle kakhulu se-neurogenesis - ukwakheka kwamangqamuzana obuchopho amasha, ama-neurons, ukwakha ukuxhumana okusha kwe-neural. Uma kuningi lokhu "okusha" kukhona, isikhathi esiningi ingqondo "izophoqeleka" ukuze ibe sesimweni. Ukufunda izilimi zakwamanye amazwe, ukudweba, ukudansa, umculo kunomthelela omkhulu emisebenzini yawo. Okubuye kunciphise amathuba okuwohloka komqondo kwangaphambi kwesikhathi futhi kugcine ukucabanga kwethu kucacile kuze kube sekugugeni.
— Ingabe umculo ngokuvamile ungasithinta isimo sethu sengqondo noma uze ululame?
— Umculo uyasithinta ngempela isimo sengqondo somuntu. Okuhle noma okubi kuncike ohlotsheni lwayo. Okwakudala, imiculo emnandi noma imisindo yemvelo isiza ekudambiseni ukucindezeleka. Ezinye izinhlobo zomculo (njengesigqi esinamandla) zingandisa ukucindezeleka. Izingoma ezigcwele ulaka nokuphelelwa ithemba zingavusa imizwa efanayo engemihle, yingakho kubaluleke kangaka ukugxilisa ezinganeni “isiko lomculo” zisencane.
“Uma ungazi ukuthi uzoqala kuphi, qonda ukuthi umphefumulo wakho ucula ngaliphi ithuluzi,” kugcizelela u-Ekaterina naye. — Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi wonke umuntu angafunda ukudlala, ikakhulukazi ngosizo lukathisha. Ungajahi, bekezela. Lapho ngiqala, ngangingawazi ngisho nomculo. I-Strum njalo futhi ingami. Zinike isikhathi sokufunda izinto ezintsha. Kujabulele okwenzayo. Futhi umphumela ngeke uhlale ulindile.”