Ubufakazi: “Ngangiphethwe ukwesaba kokuthatheka, lokhu kwesaba ukwenza isenzo sobudlova naphezu kwakho siqu”

“Kwakuphakathi neholidi lomndeni lapho kwavela khona intukuthelo yami yokuqala: ngenkathi ngibambe ummese wasekhishini ngobunye kusihlwa, ngazibona ngigwaza abazali bami nomfowethu. Njengokungathi ngibanjwe isifiso esingenakuvinjelwa, esihambisana nezithombe ezinobudlova ngokwedlulele, ngangiqiniseka ukuthi ngingakwazi ukuthatha isinyathelo uma ngilalela leli zwi elincane elangibizela ukuba ngichithe umndeni wami, kusukela ekuphakameni kweminyaka eyishumi nantathu. Nakuba ngangingakwazi ngaleso sikhathi, ngangimane ngiphethwe yilokho okubizwa ngokuthi i-impulse phobias, i-obsessive-compulsive disorder, ebonakala ngokwesaba ukulahlekelwa ukuzibamba nokwenza isenzo sobudlova kuwe siqu. noma abanye. 

Iminyaka eyalandela yaphawulwa ngeziqephu ezifanayo. Angikwazanga ukusondela esiteji kwaze kwafika isitimela, ngesaba ukuthi ngizobanjwa ngamandla ngiphushe othile kujantshi. Emotweni, ngangicabanga ukuthi ngijika isiteringi ngiyongena ngesivinini esihlahleni noma kwenye imoto. Kwakungikhathaza kakade ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa ngezinga elincane. 

Iyini i-impulse phobia?

I-Ipulse phobia iwukuthatheka ngokweqile noma ukwesaba ukwenza isenzo esinolaka, ubudlova kanye / noma esinehlazo, futhi akuvunyelwe ngokokuziphatha. Ngokwesibonelo, ukushaya othile lapho uphethe ummese, uphushela umgibeli umgibeli ngaphansi kwesitimela uma usendaweni yesikhulumi… Lokhu kuphazamiseka kungathinta nezenzo umuntu angayenza ezinganeni zakhe. Le micabango ethusayo ayiguquleli esenzweni. 

I-Ipulse phobias ingeyomndeni we-OCD futhi ingavela ngemva kokuzalwa, nakuba omama abaningi bengenaso isibindi sokukhuluma ngakho. Ukuphathwa kwe-impulse phobias empeleni kusekelwe ku-psychotherapy, futhi ikakhulukazi ekwelashweni kokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT). Izindlela ezimnene njengokuzindla ngokucabangela noma imithi ye-herbal nazo zingasebenza. 

“Ngafikelwa yimicabango eyamisa igazi lami”

Kwaba ngenkathi ngibeletha ingane yami yokuqala ngo-2017 lapho lezi zimo zashintsha khona ikakhulukazi ukukhathazeka. Ngafikelwa yimicabango eyangipholisa igazi futhi okwakuyindodana yami eyayimqoka kakhulu kimina. 

Njengoba igxilile engqondweni yami ngaphandle kokufuna kwami, le mibono embi yabangela umjikelezo ononya wokubikezela okungapheli, futhi izenzo ezivamile zokuphila kwansuku zonke zagcina sezithathe umlingiswa obuhlungu kangangokuthi angibange ngisakwazi ukuzenza. ongashadile. Isibonelo, kwakungaphandle kombuzo ukuthi ngisondele emimese noma amafasitela, ama-"phobogenic" ashukumisayo aqala zonke izinhlobo zemizwa yomzimba, ukungezwani futhi wangibeka ekucindezelekeni okungokomzwelo kangangokuthi ngesaba kulo mbono. ukuthi umyeni wami asishiye siye emsebenzini. Nami ngangingakwazi ukugeza ngedwa, ngisaba ukumgwilizisa. 

Kusukela ezinyangeni zokuqala zendodana yami nezinyathelo zami zokuqala njengomama, nginezinkumbulo ezigcwele injabulo nokuzisola, zokukhothama phambi kokwesaba kwami ​​ikakhulukazi. Ukwethuka nokuqiniseka ukuthi le micabango ingaqukatha ingxenye yeqiniso, nokuthi ukubeka amasu okugwema kuzongivumela ukuba ngiphume endleleni. Kwadingeka ngithole ukuthi yilezi zimo ezimbi ezivundisa indawo yokwesaba futhi zivumele zonke lezi zindlela ezicindezelayo zichume, ngisho noma ziphambene nezindinganiso zethu. 

 

Yamukela imicabango yakho ngomusa

Ngokuqonda lokhu, ngakwazi ukufunda indlela yokuphatha kangcono ezinyangeni ezimbalwa, ikakhulukazi ngokuzindla ngokuqaphela. Ngiyavuma ukuthi ngake ngamelana kakhulu ekuqaleni, wona kanye umqondo wokuhlala imizuzu embalwa nokubuka ukuphefumula kwami ​​wawubonakala ungenangqondo neze kimi. Bengizobukeka kanjani, ngihlezi ngiphambanise imilenze phakathi negumbi ngivale amehlo, uma umyeni wami ewa ngokuzumayo?! Ngangisawudlala lo mdlalo, ngizindla ngemizuzu eyishumi nsuku zonke isonto lonke, ngemva kwenyanga, ngemva kwalokho unyaka, ngezinye izikhathi ngenza isimiso esingaphezu kwehora, okwakubonakala kungenakwenzeka kimi ekuqaleni. 

Kwangivumela ukuba ngifunde ukunqanda lokhu kugeleza kwemicabango emibi ngokuziveza kubo futhi ngibemukele ngomusa, ngaphandle kokwahlulela, esikhundleni sokufuna ukuyigwema noma ukulwa nayo. Nakuba ngiye ngabonisana nodokotela bengqondo abaningana, ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi ukwelapha okungcono kakhulu kube ukuzindla ngokuqaphela kanye nomsebenzi okungiholele ekubeni ngiwenze kimi phakathi nezinyanga. 

Ukuqaphela nokwamukela okwenzeka ekhanda lethu nasemizimbeni yethu, ngokuba khona ngempela, kusimema ukuba siguqule ubuhlobo bethu nemicabango nemizwa yethu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi mihle noma emibi. 

“Ukuba nesibindi sokukhuluma ngakho kusho nokuvuma ukwesaba kwakho”

Ngemva kokuthola ingane yesibili ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule, ngibone inqubekela phambili nendlela ehamba ngayo kusukela kwazalwa umfowabo. Nakuba bengingakaze ngilokothe ​​ngikhulume ngakho ngaphambilini (uhlobo lwemininingwane esincamela ukuyigoqa!), Lesi sinyathelo sokubuyela emuva singikhuthaze ukuthi ekugcineni ngixoxisane nabathandekayo bami ngalesi sifo, futhi ngize ngibhale incwadi ngazo zonke izinkinga. amasu angisizile ukuyinqoba. Ukuba nesibindi sokukhuluma ngakho kusho futhi ukuvuma ukwesaba kwakho. 

Namuhla, angilaphekanga lawa ma-phobias okucindezela ngoba empeleni, umuntu akalokothi awalaphe ngempela, kodwa ngikwazile ukuqeda ithonya lawo, nganciphisa ngokucacile imicabango enolaka, engasaphinde ivele. Kunoma yikuphi, angisakuniki ukubaluleka, njengoba sengiyazi ukuthi yonke into idlala ekhanda lami futhi angisoze ngathatha isinyathelo. Futhi lokho kungukunqoba kwangempela kokuthuthuka kwami ​​​​komuntu siqu. “

       Morgane Rosa

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