Esinye sezici zokuziphatha kwabafana namantombazane afunda esikoleni samabanga aphansi ukwakheka kwamaqembu eyunifomu yobulili (homogenization), ubudlelwano phakathi okuvame ukuchazwa ngokuthi «ukuhlukaniswa ngokobulili». Izingane zihlukaniswe ngamakamu amabili aphikisanayo - abafana namantombazane - anemithetho yabo kanye nemikhuba yokuziphatha; ukukhaphela inkambu "yomuntu siqu" kuyadelelwa futhi kuyalahlwa, futhi isimo sengqondo kwelinye ikamu sithatha uhlobo lokubhekana.
Lokhu kubonakaliswa kwangaphandle kokuhlukaniswa kwengqondo nobulili bobulili kuwumphumela wamaphethini ongokwengqondo.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi indawo yokuhlala kanye nemvelo yamasiko, umehluko othile ubonakala ekuziphatheni kwabafana namantombazane kakade eminyakeni eyisithupha yokuqala yokuphila. Abafana abaneminyaka engu-6-8 ubudala bakhuthele futhi badinga ukunakwa okwengeziwe, kuyilapho amantombazane emnene futhi ezolile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abafana baziphatha ngobudlova. Ulaka wuhlobo lokuziphatha oluhlale luhlukanisa amadoda kwabesifazane, kungakhathaliseki ubudala.
Njalo nakuyo yonke indawo, abafana, ngaphandle kokungavamile, bagxile empumelelweni ephezulu futhi kufanele bathembele kubo ngokwezinga elikhulu kunamantombazane. Kanti, amantombazane ahlukaniswa ngobumnene nobumnene. Abafana bakhuthazwa ukuba bakhuthale, kuyilapho amantombazane etotoswa kakhulu.
Omunye umphumela wemibono ehlukene yokuziphatha kwezingane ukuthi abesilisa nabesifazane bakha izindlela ezihluke ngokuphelele zokusebenzelana kweqembu.
Amantombazane aseqenjini anaka ngokuyinhloko ukuthi ahlobana nobani futhi kanjani. Ingxoxo isetshenziswa yibo ukusungula izibopho zomphakathi, ukuqinisa ukuhlangana kweqembu nokugcina ubudlelwano obuhle. Amantombazane ahlala enemisebenzi emibili - ukuba "enhle" futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo alondoloze ubuhlobo obuhle kakhulu nabangane bawo ukuze afinyelele imigomo yawo ngosizo lwabo. Amantombazane ahamba phambili ngokwandisa izinga lokuvumelana eqenjini, agweme ukungqubuzana futhi agcizelele ukuphakama kwawo.
Emaqenjini abafana, konke ukunakwa kugxile ezinzuzweni zelungu ngalinye leqembu. Abafana basebenzisa izingxoxo ngezinhloso zobugovu, ukuzincoma, ukuvikela "indawo" yabo. Bonke banomsebenzi owodwa - ukuziqinisekisa. Abafana benza ngendlela yabo ngama-oda, izinsongo, kanye ne-bluster.
Imidlalo nemisebenzi yabafana igcizelela kakhulu ubudoda: impi, ezemidlalo, i-adventure. Abafana bakhetha izincwadi zobuqhawe, ukufunda okuthakazelisayo, ezempi, izindikimba zabaseshi, abayizibonelo zabo bangamaqhawe anesibindi futhi anesibindi abalingiswa abathandwayo nemidlalo ye-TV: uJames Bond, uBatman, u-Indiana Jones.
Kule minyaka, abafana banesidingo esikhethekile sokusondelana noyise, ukuba khona kwezithakazelo ezifanayo naye; abaningi bacabanga obaba ngokuphambene neqiniso. Kungale minyaka lapho ukuhamba kukababa emndenini kutholwa abafana ikakhulukazi kanzima. Uma engekho ubaba noma ubudlelwano naye bungahambi kahle, khona-ke kunesidingo somuntu ozongena esikhundleni sakhe, okungaba umqeqeshi esigabeni sezemidlalo, uthisha wesilisa.
Amantombazane embuthanweni wawo axoxa "ngezikhulu" zangempela, aqala ukuqoqa izithombe zabaculi ababathandayo, aqale izincwadi zokubhalela lapho abhala khona izingoma, izinkondlo kanye nokuhlakanipha kwezinganekwane, okuvame ukubonakala njengezinto zakudala nenhlamba kubantu abadala, angena ezindabeni "zabesifazane". (shintshanisa izindlela zokupheka, yenza imihlobiso). Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, kunesidingo esikhethekile sokusondelana ngokomzwelo nomama: amantombazane amancane afunda ukuba abesifazane ngokukopisha ukuziphatha kukanina.
Njengoba amantombazane eba nomuzwa wokuzazi ngokuhlotshaniswa nomama wawo, ubudlelwano bawo nabanye busekelwe ekuthembeleni nasekunamatheleni kwabanye abantu. Amantombazane afunda ukulalela, asheshe abone isidingo sokucabanga kuqala ngabanye.
Kubo, ukubaluleka okuyinhloko ubuhlobo babantu. Amantombazane afunda ukubona konke ubuqili bokuxhumana kwabantu, athokozele futhi alondoloze ubudlelwano obuhle. Kusukela ebuntwaneni, bahlale bematasa ngokuthi ukuziphatha kwabo kubathinta kanjani abanye.
Imidlalo yamantombazane ithuthukisa ikhono lokubambisana. Imidlalo kamama nendodakazi noma imidlalo yonodoli iyimidlalo yokulingisa engenazo izici zokuncintisana. Futhi emidlalweni yokuncintisana, isibonelo, emakilasini, amantombazane athuthukisa izimfanelo zomuntu siqu kunamakhono okuxhumana neqembu.
Abafana baphambene. Bacindezela isifiso sokuzihlanganisa nonina, kufanele bacindezele ngamandla noma yikuphi ukubonakaliswa kobufazi (ubuthakathaka, izinyembezi) ngokwabo - ngaphandle kwalokho ontanga bazo bazogcona "intombazane".
Ngomfana, ukuba yindoda kusho ukwehluka kunina, kanti abafana bahlakulela umuzwa wokuzazi ngokuhlakulela ukwazi ukuhluka kukho konke okowesifazane. Baxosha ububele, isihawu, ukunakekelwa, ukuthobela. Abafaki ukubaluleka okungaka ebuhlotsheni nabanye. Okubalulekile ukuthi ziwuthinta kanjani umphumela wokugcina.
Imidlalo yabafana ifundisa uhlobo oluhluke ngokuphelele lokuziphatha. Emidlalweni yabafana, kuhlale kunengxabano nesiqalo sokuncintisana. Abafana bayaqonda ukubaluleka kokuxazulula izingxabano ngendlela efanele futhi bafunde amakhono okuxazulula. Bafunda ukulwa nabamelene nabo futhi badlale nabo. Emidlalweni, abafana bafunda amakhono omholi kanye nomhleli. Bafunda ukulwela isikhundla esigabeni sabesilisa. Imidlalo yezemidlalo eqoqiwe ibaluleke kakhulu kubafana.
Amantombazane awakwazisi ukunqoba lo mdlalo ngoba ukulondoloza ubudlelwano obuhle kubaluleke kakhulu kuwo kunokuqinisekisa ukuphakama kwawo. Ukuthuthukisa amakhono abo okuxhumana, bafunda ukuphelelisana, banganaki abawinile. Emaqenjini amantombazane, cishe asikho isizathu sokuvela kwezingxabano, ngoba zifana, futhi imithetho yomdlalo ingeyakudala kangangokuthi kunzima ukuyiphula.
Njengoba amantombazane nabafana bakhe ubuhlobo ngendlela ehluke kangaka, ubudlelwano emaqenjini ezingane bukhula ngendlela ehlukile. Isibonelo, ngaphambi kokuqala ukukhuluma, intombazane izobhekisela kulokho okushiwo u-interlocutor odlule futhi izoveza umbono wayo, ohluke ngokuphelele kunangaphambili. Abafana, abanamahloni, bayaphazamisana, bazame ukumemeza omunye nomunye; amantombazane athule, anikeze wonke umuntu ithuba lokukhuluma. Amantombazane athambisa imiyalelo futhi afake izintombi ekuxhumaneni. Abafana bavele bakhiphe ulwazi nemiyalo yokwenza lokhu nalokhuya.
Amantombazane alalelana ngesizotha, ngezikhathi ezithile efaka amazwi akhuthazayo anobungane. Abafana bavame ukugcona isikhulumi, baphazamisane futhi bazame ukukhuluma izindaba zabo ngokushesha, benethemba lokuthola intende yesandla futhi benqaba ukubhekana nezidingo zabanye.
Lapho ukungqubuzana kuvela, amantombazane azama ukuyithambisa futhi axoxisane, futhi abafana baxazulule ukuphikisana okuye kwavela ngosizo lwezinsongo nokusebenzisa amandla angokwenyama.
Abafana basebenza ngempumelelo nangempumelelo ngamaqembu, okungabonakala esibonelweni samaqembu ezemidlalo. Emaqenjini abafana, akekho onendaba nemizwa yabanye, la maqembu asekelwa ukunamathela ngokuqinile emithethweni.
Kokubili amantombazane nabafana, isikhathi sokuhlukaniswa kwezithakazelo kuye ngobulili yisikhathi sokuzinqumela ohlelweni lwezindinganiso zendima nobudlelwane.
Kodwa nje lokhu kuthuthukiswa kuhlanganisa ukuvela kwesithakazelo kwabobulili obuhlukile, kubonakaliswa ohlotsheni lokuqomisana. Konke okwangempela kwayo kuyaqondakala, kunikezwe ukuthi ukukhanga esimweni sokwenqaba, ukuzwelana ngezimo zokuhlukaniswa ngokobulili. Umfana udinga ukukhombisa intombazane ukuthi uyikhethe phakathi kwamanye amantombazane, futhi adonsele ukunaka kwayo kuye, ngaphandle kokubangela ukulahlwa kontanga.
Intombazane, nayo, ngaphandle kokubangela ukulahlwa kontanga, kufanele iphendule kulokhu. Le misebenzi ephikisanayo yangaphakathi ixazululwa ngohlelo lwezenzo ezinolaka zangaphandle zabafana kanye nezenzo zokuzivikela zamantombazane. Kubafana, ukudonsa izinwele zamantombazane kuyindlela yendabuko yokuthola ukunakwa. Lokhu kuqomisana akubangeli izingxabano ezinkulu phakathi kwezingane. Ihluke ku-hooliganism ngoba ihlale yenzeka emphakathini futhi ayithwali intukuthelo noma isifiso sokucasula, ngisho nalapho ibukeka iqhude kakhulu. Amantombazane ngokuvamile ngokwawo, njengokungathi, avuse abafana ekubonakalisweni okunjalo kokunaka, behlekisa ngabo ngazo zonke izindlela. Izikhalo zamantombazane ngokuvamile zinezincazelo zokuxwayisa abanye ukuthi banake. Ukungabikho kwayo kungabangela intombazane ukuba izizwe iphansi, ingathandeki.
Lapho abafana namantombazane behlukene kangaka ngokuziphatha bendawonye, abafana bayakwazi ukuhola ngaso sonke isikhathi. Amantombazane awasho lutho eqenjini lontanga, kodwa eqenjini elixubile ahlala esemaceleni, evumela abafana ukuba babeke imithetho futhi bahole.
Abafana beminyaka yesikole samabanga aphansi sebezama ngazo zonke izindlela ukusungula u-"Z" wabo eqenjini lontanga, ngakho-ke abasamukeli kakhulu izicelo neziphakamiso ezivela emantombazaneni. Akumangazi ukuthi amantombazane athola imidlalo nabafana ingajabulisi futhi ayigweme ngazo zonke izindlela.
Imidlalo yomfana ayisho nhlobo ukuthi isho ukuthini ngentombazane. Amantombazane afunda ukusebenzisana ngokwakha nokugcina ubudlelwano obuhle. Abafana bafunda isenzo sokubambisana ngokudlala imidlalo nemidlalo yokuncintisana lapho belwela ukuzuza isikhundla esiphambili.
Izici zokuziphatha ngesikhathi sokuhlukaniswa kwezithakazelo kuye ngobulili kubangela ukukhathazeka kubantu abadala kanye nesifiso sokubiza izingane "ukuhleleka". Abazali nothisha akufanele gu.e. ngenelela ekukhulumisaneni phakathi kwabafana namantombazane, njengoba bengaphazamisa ukuhamba okugcwele nokunemininingwane kwezingane ngesigaba semvelo sokukhula.
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