Kungani kunzima kangaka kwabanye bethu ukuthola umlingani wokuphila? Mhlawumbe iphuzu ukuzwela ngokweqile, okuphazamisa thina nabathandekayo bethu? Sabelana ngamathiphu athile awusizo azosiza abantu abazwelayo bathole ukuqondana nozakwethu.
Uyathanda ukuya kumamuvi futhi uye eholidini uwedwa? Ingabe udinga indawo yakho ngisho nasekamelweni?
“Ngesikhathi ngizijwayeza, ngahlangana nabantu abaningi abanezinga eliphakeme lokuzwela - ukuzwelana ngokomzwelo ababhekana nobunzima ebudlelwaneni obuseduze,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uJudith Orloff. “Laba ngabantu abanomusa, abahloniphekile, abaqotho abafuna ukuthola umngane wabo womshado, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo bahlala benesizungu iminyaka.”
Esimeni sothando, singena emuzweni wobunye nokusondelana nozakwethu futhi sithole amandla kulokhu, kodwa ngozwela, ukuxhumana okunamandla kakhulu, ngaphandle nethuba lokuthatha umhlalaphansi - futhi yile ndlela ababuyisela ngayo amandla - kunzima kakhulu.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi bathanda kancane. Ngokuphambene nalokho, baqonda abathandekayo babo ngaphandle kwamagama futhi baphile nabo wonke ama-nuances okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo.
Ngomqondo ongokomfanekiso, laba bantu babonakala bethinta into ngeminwe engamashumi amahlanu, kuyilapho wonke umuntu edinga emihlanu kuphela. Ngakho-ke, badinga isikhathi esengeziwe sokubuyisela ibhalansi yangaphakathi.
Abaningi babo besaba ukuthi ngeke baqondwe othandekayo. Impela, isidingo esikhulayo sendawo ehlukile kwesinye isikhathi sifundwa ngabanye njengokuzihlukanisa nokungabi nantshisekelo ebudlelwaneni.
Futhi lokhu kungezwani kuyinhlekelele kubo nakulabo abangase babe ngabalingani babo. Abantu abazwelayo bangafunda kanjani ukwakha ubudlelwano?
Qiniseka
Thembeka futhi uchaze ukuthi ngokuvamile udinga ukuba wedwa. Uma ucisha ifoni yakho futhi ushiya okwesikhashana umkhakha wezokuxhumana, lokhu akuyona into yomuntu siqu. Lokhu kungenxa yezici zemvelo yakho, futhi umlingani wakho uthandeka kakhulu kuwe ngalezi zikhathi. Isimo sakho sengqondo kuye asishintshile.
Isikhathi sokulala
Abantu abanozwela abakwazi ukuhlala belala embhedeni owodwa nophathina. Futhi, akukho lutho lomuntu siqu: zibaluleke kakhulu indawo yazo ebusuku. Uma kungenjalo, ngeke balale ngokwanele futhi iphupho elihlangene nomuntu othandekayo lizophenduka ukuhlukunyezwa. Khuluma ngobuqotho ngakho nomlingani wakho futhi nixoxe ngezinketho zenu.
Indawo yokuthula
Isinqumo sokuhlala ndawonye siyisinyathelo esibucayi esivivinya amandla ezinyunyana eziningi. Ikakhulukazi uma omunye wozakwethu eyidinga kabi indawo yakhe. Cabanga lapho ungaba wedwa futhi uxoxe ngakho nomlingani wakho.
Mhlawumbe ungathanda "ukunyamalala" ekamelweni langasese noma igaraji ngezikhathi ezithile.
Uma indawo yefulethi incane, lokhu kungaba itafula lakho, elihlukaniswe isikrini. Uma ingekho indawo enjalo, phuma uye endlini yokugezela. Vula amanzi futhi uzinike isikhathi — ngisho nemizuzu emihlanu kuya kweyishumi izosiza ukubuyisela amandla. Kubalulekile ukuthi umlingani asamukele lesi sifiso sakho ngaphandle kokucasuka.
Ngenkathi sihamba
Abantu bavame ukumangala ukuthi othile ukhetha ukuhamba yedwa. Iningi labantu lithanda ukwabelana ngemibono nolwazi nothile. Abazishayelayo ngokuvamile baphenduka uzwela olungokomzwelo. Ukuhamba ndawonye, lapho omunye umuntu eseduze amahora angu-24, ngisho noma ethandwa kakhulu, kuba uvivinyo kubo.
Zama ukuxoxa nophathina wakho ngalokhu ukuze angakubambele igqubu uma ngelinye ilanga ufuna ukudla isidlo sasekuseni uwedwa. Noma ungambambi ekanye naye kolunye lohambo. Emibhangqwaneni lapho lezi zici ezingokwengqondo zihlonishwa khona, ubudlelwano obujabulisayo nobuhlala isikhathi eside budalwa.