Cha, senza kangcono kunasemazweni aseMpumalanga, lapho ukukhishwa kwezisu okukhethekile kwenziwa - umbungu wesifazane uvame ukubhujiswa. Kodwa amasiko okukhulisa amantombazane, ngokusho kwezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, asephelelwe yisikhathi futhi ngokungenathemba.
Ubufazi emphakathini wanamuhla sekuyisikhathi eside buyisiqalekiso. Abaningi bakuchaza njengesifiso sabesifazane ukuthwala abantu abalala nokuhamba nemilenze engagundiwe. Futhi abakhumbuli nakancane ukuthi i-feminism iyinhlangano yabesifazane yokulwela amalungelo alinganayo namadoda. Ilungelo lomholo ofanayo. Ilungelo lokungezwa amazwi athi “owesifazane oshayelayo ufana nenkawu ephethe ibhomu.” Futhi ngisho nama-replicas, okusho ukuthi umshicileli wemoto akazange athole imoto ngokwakhe, kodwa wayishintshanisa ngezinkonzo ezithile zemvelo.
Kuvela ukuthi esikhundleni sokulingana, sibona into ehluke ngokuphelele - i-misogyny. Okusho ukuthi, ukuzonda umuntu wesifazane ngoba nje engowesifazane. Futhi ukubonakaliswa okubi kakhulu kwayo, ngokusho kwezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, i-misogyny yangaphakathi. Okusho ukuthi, inzondo yabesifazane ngabesifazane.
Inkinga enkulu, ngokusho kwe-psychotherapist u-Elena Tryakina, ukuthi ubulili, ukucwaswa ngokobulili, kufakwe emakhanda abesifazane futhi kudluliselwa kubo ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane. Umama ugxilisa inhlamba endodakazini yakhe. Futhi nokunye ad infinitum.
“Ngikhumbula ngiqala ukuhlangana nalesi simo. Omunye wamakhasimende ami wathi abangani bakhe, abanamadodana, baqala ukuba nolaka futhi basole indodakazi yakhe lapho isoka lizibulala, "u-Elena Tryakina unikeza isibonelo.
Uchwepheshe onolwazi lweminyaka engamashumi amabili wavuma ukuthi wayemane emangale - yena ngokwakhe wayengenazo izidingo ezihlukene zamadoda nabesifazane.
“Phela, wonke umuntu wezwa ukuthi intombazane, lapho iphendula ukubhonga kwayo nesifiso sokususa ikhanda lalowo owonile, yathi: ‘Uyintombazane! Kufanele uthambe. Lalela.” Asiliqapheli ilungelo lentombazane lokucasulwa, nemizwa yayo siqu. Asimfundisi ukuveza intukuthelo nokubhikisha ngendlela ephucuzekile, kodwa sifundisa ubulili, ”kusho u-Elena Tryakina.
Leli siko lemfundo lisekelwe emphakathini wezinzalamizi. Khona-ke indoda yayiphethe, futhi owesifazane wayethembele ngokuphelele kuye. Manje azikho izizathu zendlela enjalo yokuphila - noma ezenhlalo, noma ezomnotho, noma zansuku zonke. Azikho izizathu, kodwa "uyintombazane" kunjalo. Amantombazane afundiswa ukuba mnene, avume, azinikele ekuziphatheni kwamantombazane namantombazane abhekwa njengento evamile.
“Intombazane ifundiswa ukuthi into ebaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwabo ubuhlobo. Impumelelo yakhe, noma imfundo, noma ukuzazi, noma umsebenzi, noma imali akubalulekile. Konke lokhu kungokwesibili, ”kukholelwa i-psychotherapist.
Intombazane iyalelwa ukuba ishade. Uya kwezokwelapha? Uyasangana? Akhona amantombazane, uzoyibhekaphi indoda yakho? Isibopho somshado sisemantombazaneni kuphela. Kuvela ukuthi abazali emadodakazini abo ababoni umuntu, kodwa uhlobo lwenkonzo engaba khona - kumuntu othile ongabonakali noma ngokwabo. Lokhu kumayelana “nengilazi yamanzi” edume kabi.
“Ukushada ukuze kube lula akulona ihlazo, kodwa kuhle futhi kuhlakaniphe. Ukuntula uthando kuyinto evamile. Ubuchopho bubanda, okusho ukuthi kulula ukuphatha indoda, - u-Elena Tryakina uchaza umqondo wokukhuliswa. – Kuvele ukuthi sisakaza umbono wokuthi ukuba khona kowesifazane kuyinto evamile - i-parasitic, mercantile futhi incike. Umqondo wokufunda ukungabi nalusizo kanye ne-infantilism. Lapho umama emuhle futhi ubaba uyasebenza. Eqinisweni, lezi yizindlela ezicashile zobufebe, ezithathwa njengenhlalayenza ngokuphelele. “
Owesifazane ozimele, ophumelelayo, oholayo uthathwa njengomuntu ongajabule futhi oneshwa uma engashadile. Kuyahlekisa? Kuyahlekisa.
“Kumele sikhulise ukuzazi kwabesifazane. Yilokho okudingekayo, hhayi zonke lezi zifundo zamakhosikazi amaVeda nezinye izinto ezingaqondakali, "kuphetha isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo.
U-Elena Tryakina wabukwa abantu abangaphezu kwengxenye yesine yesigidi. Kwavela ingxoxo emazwaneni. Abanye bathi asikho isidingo sokutshala imicabango yokuzimela emakhanda abesifazane: “Izingane zidinga ukubhekwana nazo”. Kodwa iningi elikhulu lavumelana nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo. Ngoba ngokushesha baqaphela izindlela zokuthi “ningamantombazane” ekukhuleni kwabo. Uthini?