Intombazane kulokhu kuboniswana ibonisa ukuziphatha komuntu okhohlisayo. Umdlalo, isithombe, sebenzela umbono - kanye nokuntula ukwethenjwa. Kunzima ukusho ukuthi intombazane iziphatha kanjani kwezinye izimo.
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Umuntu ngamunye unezinkinobho zokuzilawula!
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I-manipulator ngokusho kuka-Everett Shostrom—uhlobo olubi lwe-neurotic manipulator oluchazwe ngu-E. Shostrom. Incwadi edumile ka-E. Shostrom «I-man-manipulator» enamathiselwe kumqondo we-«manipulator» incazelo ephikelelayo engemihle, esiphenduke yendabuko.
Ukuze uthole ezinye izinhlobo zezikhohlisi, bheka i-Manipulator yesihloko esijwayelekile
Ngokuka-Shostrom, umkhohlisi uwuhlobo lomuntu olukhohlisayo olufuna ukuba umnikazi nokulawula abantu ngesitayela somshini wokukhohlisa. Okungukuthi, bonke abanye abantu okungezona ezabo, hhayi abantu, kodwa izinto ezingaziwa, ezingenandaba nezingaphili, futhi ngubani oziphatha njengangaphandle kokuvuleleka, ngaphandle kokwethenjwa, njengezinto zemishini. Umuntu walolu hlobo uphishekela izithakazelo zakhe kuphela, kuyamangaza ukukhuluma ngezithakazelo zento engumshini kuye, ngakho-ke lokhu kuyisici esibi somuntu.
Abantu abanjalo abakhohlisayo balawula abanye ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene, kuhlanganise nokubonisa izimo zabo ezinzima. Isibonelo, lawa "ama-Whiners", okungukuthi, abantu abenza kahle, kodwa lapho behlangana, bangakhuluma amahora mayelana nokuthi yonke into imbi kangakanani kubo nokuthi bakhathele ngayo yonke into.
Umuntu okhohlisayo angase angaqondi, angaqapheli ukuthi ungumuntu okhohlisayo noma into yokukhohlisa.
Unganquma kanjani ukuthi lokhu kuwukukhohlisa kwasekhaya noma indlela yokuphila ye-manipulator? Uma ukukhohlisa kuhambisana nezimo futhi kungenziwa kabusha kwezinye izimo, kuwukukhohlisa kwansuku zonke. Uma umuntu eziphatha njenge-manipulator ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngaphandle kokushiya le ndima, lokhu sekuvele kuyindlela yokuphila.
Ake sibheke lokhu ngesibonelo somntwana. Ingane ifuna ukubuka olunye uhlelo noma ikhathuni. Ngabuza, kulungile. Ukhale - wazama ukuthonya, kodwa waphazamiseka - waphazamiseka, lokhu kuwukukhohlisa ngaphakathi kohlaka lwezimiso zeminyaka. Futhi uma ngokushesha, njalo futhi ephikelela ebhonga baze bambonise ikhathuni, ephikelela ekhala ngendlela yakhe, lokhu sekuvele kungumkhohlisi.
i-manipulative kanye ne-neurotic
Ukuthambekela kokukhohlisa kuwuphawu lwe-neurotic. Esinye sezidingo ze-neurotic isidingo sokubusa, ukuba namandla. UKaren Horney ukholelwa ukuthi isifiso esinamandla sokubusa sibangela «ukungakwazi komuntu ukusungula ubudlelwano obulinganayo. Uma engaba umholi, uzizwa elahlekile ngokuphelele, encike futhi engenakuzisiza. Unamandla kangangokuthi konke okungaphezu kwamandla akhe ukubheka njengokuzithoba kwakhe.
Ukugxekwa kokunemba kwemibono ka-E. Shostrom
Kulandela u-E. Shostrom, abakhohlisayo bavame ukubizwa ngokuthi ezinye izinhlobo zabantu abangakufanelekeli nhlobo ukuthola iziqu ezinjalo ezimbi.
"Umuntu osebenzisa abanye abantu ukufeza izinhloso zakhe ungumkhohlisi." Amanga nobuwula. Umfundi usebenzisa othisha umgomo wakhe wokuba umuntu ofundile - ungumfundi oqotho, akayena umkhohlisi omubi.
"Lowo osebenzisa ukukhohlisa ungumkhohlisi." Ukudideka nobuwula. I-manipulator ngumuntu okhohlisayo, hhayi umuntu osebenzisa ukukhohlisa. Isibonelo, ukukhohlisa okuhle kusetshenziselwa ukuxhumana phakathi kwabathandekayo, izihlobo kanye nabantu abanothando. Ukukhohlisa okuhle kuyingxenye yemvelo yobudlelwano babo obuhle obuseduze, lapho kungekho muntu futhi ozizwa njengento yangaphandle noma ewumshini. Ukukhohlisa okuhle kuwukubonakaliswa kokukhathazeka ngalowo eziqondiswe kuye, futhi akukwazi ukuba yisisekelo sokuchazwa kwezinhlamvu ezingezinhle zombhali wazo. Bheka →