Uma ngingumqeqeshi, ngidinga ukuqonda umehluko phakathi kwababukeli besilisa nabesifazane. Lo mehluko ukhona, futhi kufanele ucatshangelwe ukuze kukhethwe indlela ephumelela kakhulu yokuqeqesha - kokubili ukudlulisa ulwazi kanye nokuthuthukisa amakhono.
Ngokubona kwami, awukho umehluko othize phakathi kwezithameli zabesilisa nabesifazane ekuqeqeshweni “kwebhizinisi”. Nokho, izethameli zibona kangcono kuqala umqeqeshi wesilisa. Umqeqeshi wesifazane uyahlolwa «izinyo». Futhi kulokhu, umqeqeshi kufanele abonise igunya lakhe futhi abonise ukuthi wazi okuningi futhi unokuthile kokufundisa izethameli. Ekuqeqesheni ibhizinisi, mina ngokwami ngabona umqeqeshi wesilisa ngokuzethemba okukhulu.
Ekuqeqesheni amavolontiya okuqeqesha, lapho izethameli zingabafundi, abaneminyaka engu-20-25, sizama ukubeka amadoda njengomqeqeshi oholayo. Umqondo ulula: amantombazane athandana, athathekile futhi alalele. Nokho, phakathi kwabaqeqeshi kukhona Abesifazane abahola ukuqeqeshwa ngendlela yokuthi izethameli zithatheke futhi zimangele. Kanjani? Ulwazi, isipiliyoni, ikhono «elimnandi» ukwethula ulwazi. Ukubukeka kwalaba baqeqeshi akukhangi nhlobo. Bahlangabezwa ukuhlakanipha.
Kuyacaca ukuthi lesi sihloko sikhulu, udinga ukuthatha ukusika okuthile. Sithatha iminyaka engu-18-27, izethameli ezigqugquzelwe, isihloko sokuqeqeshwa ikakhulukazi ibhizinisi.
Ukucaciswa kwezithameli zabesifazane kulele eqinisweni lokuthi izethameli ezinjalo zisabela ngokuqinile ezenzweni ezimbi zezinto ezibonakalayo nohlelo lwansuku zonke, ukucabanga okucatshangelwayo okuphathekayo kubusa lapho, kukhona imizwa ephezulu yokuqonda, izethameli zithanda ukuzwa ulwazi ngendlebe, ngokuvamile ebonakala ngokuntula isithakazelo kwezomnotho, zesayensi, ezobuchwepheshe kanye nezemidlalo izihloko, uzimisele kakhudlwana ukuya izinkulumo nezinkulumo ezihlukahlukene, unolwazi kancane kuzo zonke izindaba.
Izidingo zokukhuluma ezithamelini zesifazane:
- isethulo sokufundisa esifiselekayo sendaba: ukusuka kokukhethekile kuye kokujwayelekile;
- imizwa ephezulu yokwethulwa iyancomeka: ukuvezwa kwemizwelo, ukugqama kwenkulumo nemifanekiso ehehayo;
- ukusetshenziswa okuphezulu kokubonakala nokukhanga izibonelo zansuku zonke, amacala avela ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, izinkinga zomndeni;
- khuluma ngendaba eyodwa kuphela.
Izilaleli zesilisa zihlukile. Inolwazi olungcono ngazo zonke izindaba, inokwaziswa kwakamuva okutholwe emaphephandabeni nasekukhishweni kwezindaba, ezilalelini ezinjalo ezibuswa izithakazelo ezihlobene nomsebenzi nepolitiki. Izilaleli azinasineke ngemigqa emide, azithandi ukuhlafuna okunemininingwane eminingi.
Izidingo zokukhuluma kuzithameli zesilisa:
- ukwethulwa kwe-deductive yokwaziswa kubonakala kahle, indaba engaguquki kusukela kokujwayelekile kuye kokuthile;
- imizwelo kufanele ibe phakathi, ungasebenzisa isethulo esingabonakali;
- asikho isidingo sokufinyelela iziphetho ezisobala kakhulu ezilalelini;
- enkulumweni, imibuzo emi-2-3 ingacatshangelwa, inikeze impikiswano eyisibopho yale mibono ebekiwe;
- imizwa yamukelekile, kodwa kuphela ngaphansi kwesimo sokwakhiwa okunengqondo kokusebenza sekukonke.
Kalula nje, indoda ingqondo, owesifazane umuzwa. Mhlawumbe, kuyadingeka ukucacisa ngokusho kukaNI Kozlov: "Owesifazane, uma ephila njengowesifazane, uhlala nemizwa. Indoda, uma kuyindoda, iqondiswa ingqondo. Sikhumbula ukuthi kukhona abesifazane abanobulili besilisa kanye nabesilisa abanobulili besifazane: sizobe sesihlangana nalokho okuhlukile lapho abesifazane bekhetha isethulo esinengqondo. Nokho, umthetho ojwayelekile usasebenza: