Okuqukethwe
Sazi ngobuciko indlela yokwenza indlovu empukaneni, senze ihaba ngobunzima obukhona futhi sibudale emcabangweni wethu. Kodwa kukhona futhi indlela yokubuyela emuva. Izindlela ezine zizosiza ukuqeda ukungezwani emzimbeni futhi kuhlanze ingqondo nemicabango engadingekile.
1. Shintsha imicabango
Lapho sicabanga ngezinkinga ezicindezelayo, ngezinye izikhathi siyakhathazeka noma sidangale. Indlela ye-psychotherapist yaseSwitzerland uRoger Vittoz, esekelwe "ekuthintekeni okulungile", isiza ukuphuma kulesi simo, uvuselele amehlo akho futhi uthole isisombululo esifanele.
“Kusiza ukumisa imicabango emibi futhi kuqede ukukhathazeka,” kuchaza isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMartina Mingan. "Ukuphumula ubuchopho kukuvumela ukuthi ubuyisele ukunaka kwakho ngokugcwele." Uzodinga itshe nendawo ethule lapho ungaba wedwa.
Isinyathelo sokuqala: sukuma ubeke izingalo zakho phansi, phefumula ngamakhala akho, khulula intamo namahlombe akho, wenze ubuso obumbalwa ukuze uzizwele ubuso bakho bese ubukhulula. Cabanga ngenkinga ekukhathazayo futhi uchaze isimo sakho emazingeni amathathu.
Umzimba: yiziphi izinzwa eminwe, ezinyaweni, esifubeni? Ngokomzwelo: yini ohlangabezana nayo - ukudabuka, injabulo, injabulo, ukukhathazeka? Intellectual: kwenzekani emicabangweni yakho? Bese usho isimo esijwayelekile ngegama elilodwa: ukukhathazeka, ukulangazelela, ukushuba, ukwesaba, usizi, intukuthelo, ingcindezi ... Izwa ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani emizweni yakho nasemzimbeni. Uma igama likhethwe kahle, uzolizwa.
Isigaba sesibili: thatha itshe bese ugxila kumbala walo, ukuma, isisindo, izinga lokushisa... Ligingqe esandleni sakho, landelela amaqhubu, imifantu, ukucindezelwa kwalo ngezandla zakho. Gxila emizweni. Unuka kanjani?
Ngemva kwemizuzu embalwa, zibuze umbuzo futhi: “Lithini igama ngesimo sami esivamile manje?” Leli gama liphendula kanjani emzimbeni? Ingabe akuselona igama lokuqala lesimo sakho?
Uma usenomuzwa wokuthi, isibonelo, ukukhathazeka kusekhona, ungasheshi, zinike isikhathi esengeziwe sokutadisha itshe. Yenza lo msebenzi izikhathi eziningana ngosuku ukuze uthole umkhuba "wokungena emizweni" futhi unciphise ukungezwani kwengqondo.
Inketho yokuzindla edolobheni elikhulu: uma ungenayo amatshe eduze, vula inganekwane yakho. Vala amehlo akho futhi unyakaze ngokucophelela, ngokuphepha uzungeze igumbi. Thinta okuthile ngaphandle kokuvula amehlo akho. Yini lokhu? Zama ukunquma usayizi wayo, ukuthungwa kwayo, izinga lokushisa nokusabela ekuthinteni kwakho - noma ngabe le nto iyafudumala noma ihlala ibanda.
Zizwele. Zama ukujika. Ihogele, ilalele (iyaheshaza, ikhale noma icofe?). Vula amehlo: uyamangala? Noma ukwazile ukuqagela into ngaso leso sikhathi? Yikuphi okusha okufundile ngaye nangemizwa yakho? Ubuwazi ukuthi umnandi kangakanani umgogodla wale ncwadi uma uthintwa? Noma ubucabanga ukuthi insundu, kodwa ibe luhlaza?
Dweba ukufana: ingabe uyayazi inkinga ekuthusayo? Mhlawumbe, lapho ucabangisisa, “uyiphenya,” uzothola izindlela ezintsha zokuyixazulula. Uyihlola kanjani manje, ngemva kokushintsha imicabango yakho ekuthinteni nasekuhogeleni kwakho? Mhlawumbe ngeke isabonakala inkulu njengakuqala.
2. Buyela eqinisweni ngama-flashcards
Esimeni sokukhathazeka futhi ngisho nangaphezulu - ukucindezeleka, ngokuvamile silahlekelwa ukuthintana nathi. I-Transpersonal psychology isiza ukuyibuyisela. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uBernadette Blain sithi: “Wethula umbono onjengobunjalo obungokomoya bobuntu. “Kithina, “Mina” kanye Nokwami balwela ukuphakama. "Mina" umqondo wethu ngathi, futhi Isiqu siyisisekelo sethu esijulile, esikhona ngale kokwesaba kwethu. Ukuzivocavoca engikuphakamisayo kubizwa ngokuthi i-Mandala of Being. Kukusiza ukuthi uxhumane nawe.” Uzodinga uzakwethu ukuze uqedele lo msebenzi.
Sika amakhadi ephepha amahlanu bese ubhala kuwo ngamagama amakhulu: “Manje”, “Ikusasa”, “Okwedlule”, “Okunye”, “Mina”. Hlela amakhadi phansi abe yindilinga: phakathi nendawo - "Manje", enyakatho - "Ikusasa", eningizimu - "Okwedlule", entshonalanga - "Mina", empumalanga - "Okunye".
Yisho ngokuzwakalayo lokho okufunayo. Bese - lokho okuzwayo manje, iqiniso lakho okwamanje. Ngemva kwalokho, tshela ukuthi yiziphi izinkolelo nezimpikiswano ezisekela iqiniso lakho. Isibonelo: “Uma ngingawuphasanga lo mncintiswano, ngeke ngisaba nawo amanye amathuba okukhula kochwepheshe.” Khumbula - "Esikhathini Esidlule" kwavela nini lokhu kwesaba?
Uzozwa uvalo lushuba. Kungokwemvelo ngoba uzinika imvume yokwesaba.
Yima maphakathi nemandala yakho eyenziwe ngezandla bese uphefumula ujule namehlo akho evaliwe. Khona-ke vula amehlo akho futhi, unyathela ngasempumalanga (ubheke ekhadini elithi “Okunye”), usho izinkolelo zakho ngokuzwakalayo: “Uma ngingawuphumelele lo mncintiswano, ngeke esaba khona amathuba okukhula kochwepheshe phambi kwami.”
Uzizwa kanjani? Letha ukunaka kwakho emizweni yomzimba. Gxila kokubi kakhulu. Vumela uzakwethu wokuzivocavoca abuze umbuzo: "Ingabe lesi sitatimende siyiqiniso futhi asinakuphikiswa?" Uma kungelona iqiniso 100%, akulona neze iqiniso!
Imvamisa kungalesi sikhathi lapho sibona khona ukuthi esikuthathe njengeqiniso elingephikiswe yinkolelo yethu nje, engahlanganise lutho namaqiniso kanye neqiniso.
Buyela maphakathi nemandala. Yeka le nkolelo, "yinqamule" kuwena. Umsizi uyabuza, “Uzizwa kanjani manje ngaphandle kwaleyo nkolelo?” Ngokuvamile ngalo mzuzu sizizwa sidangele kancane, silula.
Khumbula lesi simo futhi ugcine lo mbono. Bese ubheka isimo sakho kulowo muzwa. Usele namaqiniso kuphela, iqiniso eliphucwe izendlalelo zemizwa evezwa izinkolelo zakho.
3. Humusha ukwesaba kube amandla okunyakaza
Okuhlangenwe nakho ebesikucabangela okungekuhle kungaba usizo! Uma ukwesaba, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka kuphakama kithi, ngakho-ke akufanele sizame ngokushesha ukucwiliswa ngaphandle, ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi umphathi we-NLP, umqeqeshi webhizinisi, umphathi-jikelele wokuqeqeshwa kweMirror uMaxim Dranko: "Kungcono ukuzibuza lo mbuzo: bavelaphi futhi badingani ? Mhlawumbe badonsela ukunakekela ezingozini ezinkulu nezithiyo. Ngiphakamisa ukubhekana nokwesaba ebusweni ngokwethembeka nangokusobala. Futhi ufunde indlela yokuphatha.
Qaphela izinyathelo zokuphepha: ungasebenzi ngama-phobias nokwesaba okunamandla usebenzisa lo msebenzi (ngaphandle kwalokho ungavusa ukwethuka). Uzodinga amaphepha amathathu nepeni.
Isinyathelo sokuqala – Izingozi. Bhala phansi ephepheni inombolo 1 izimpendulo zombuzo othi: “Iyiphi into embi kakhulu engenzeka uma ...?” Bese ufaka esikhundleni iphrojekthi yakho noma isenzo, ngenxa yokuthi ukhathazekile. Bhala phansi into embi kakhulu engenzeka endleleni eya emgomweni wakho ohlwini olunezinombolo.
Ngokwesibonelo, uzothatha uhambo, kodwa uyesaba. Yiziphi izinto ezimbi ezingenzeka ohambweni? Ake sithi bantshontsha imali. Bhala noma yini efika engqondweni. Esigabeni esithile, uzozwa ukuthi ukwesaba kuyakhula. Kungokwemvelo, ngoba uzinika imvume yokwesaba.
Qhubeka nohlu kuze kube yilapho ukwesaba kuncipha noma kunyamalala. Futhi uma kubonakala sengathi ubhale konke, zibuze umbuzo: "Yini engenzeka nakakhulu kunalokhu?" Futhi lapho usuvele wehlise ngokunembile zonke izinto ezesabekayo ephepheni, singacabanga ukuthi isigaba sokuqala sesiphelile.
Isinyathelo sesibili - "Ukusabela". Ephepheni lesibili lephepha, entweni ngayinye evela ephepheni No. 1, sibhala lokho esizokwenza uma "lokhu" kwenzeka. Ingabe uye webiwa yonke imali ohambweni lwakho? Uzokwenzani? Kulesi sigaba, ukwesaba kuzophinde kuvuke futhi kungase kuqine nakakhulu kunasesiteji sokuqala, ngoba empeleni siphila i-fait accompli.
Ngobuchopho, ingozi ecatshangelwayo kanye nengozi yangempela ivame kakhulu into efanayo: ama-hormone akhiqizwa ngendlela efanayo, inhliziyo ishaya ngendlela efanayo, izinwele ezingemuva kwentamo zima ekugcineni futhi iqhubu likhuphuka emphinjeni. Yile ndlela okufanele kube ngayo: kungcono ukwesaba kancane manje nephepha ezandleni zakho kunokuba ugijimele empilweni yangempela ngokwethuka kamuva.
Kulesi sigaba, asiphili nje kuphela isimo esibucayi, kodwa futhi nesinqumo saso. Kulapho sitshela khona ubuchopho ukuthi, “Nginohlelo B.” Uma ngesinye isikhathi ungazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyibhale, khona-ke unomsebenzi wokufunda, ukuthola isisombululo, ukubuza.
Kulokhu, amandla okwesaba aguqulwa abe amandla okuxazulula inkinga. Ngiqoqa ulwazi kusenesikhathi uma kunesimo esiphuthumayo: izinombolo zocingo zamaphoyisa ezweni engiya kulo, noma inombolo yocingo yehhovisi lenxusa.
Isinyathelo sesithathu – Ukuvimbela. Eshidini elingunombolo 3, bhala entweni ngayinye ephepheni lokuqala, yini ongayenza ukuze uvimbele leso sigameko. Isibonelo, ungagcini yonke imali kanye nawo wonke amakhadi endaweni eyodwa. Njll Ngale ndlela, siqondisa amandla okukhathazeka ukuze sinciphise ukucindezeleka, kuyilapho singavali amehlo ethu ezingozini ezingase zibe khona.
4. Qondisa amahlombe akho futhi uthole ibhalansi
Imizimba yethu ivame ukuhlakanipha kunomqondo. “Ngezinye izikhathi izixazululo ezilula zomzimba zisebenza ngokushesha futhi ngendlela ephumelelayo kunezixazululo ezivela engqondweni,” kuphawula uMaxim Dranko.
Thola indawo lapho ungathatha khona kalula izinyathelo ezi-5-7 futhi ungaphazanyiswa. Uma ucabanga ngesimo esikukhathazayo, thatha izinyathelo eziyisikhombisa. Qaphela ukuthi uhamba kanjani: kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ikhanda litshekile, ukuthi amahlombe ami kanjani, ukuthi izinqe, amadolo, izindololwane, izinyawo zihamba kanjani. Noma rekhoda ividiyo emfushane ocingweni lwakho. Buyekeza, unake ukuhambahamba.
Ngokuvamile labo abacindezelwe umthwalo wemfanelo emahlombe abo, njengokungathi bancipha futhi behla ngevolumu. Amahlombe amboze intamo, ihlehla njengofudu. Vumelana, hhayi isimo esihlakaniphile.
Manje zama ukuqondisa amahlombe akho kude ngangokunokwenzeka futhi uhambe, ucabanga ngenkinga yakho, ohlangothini olulodwa. Bese uwalethe phambili ngangokunokwenzeka, uzungeleze ngangokunokwenzeka futhi uhambe uye kolunye uhlangothi. Zama ukuthola indawo emaphakathi lapho ungakhululeka khona kakhulu. Hamba futhi ukhumbule ukuma kwamahlombe.
Zihlanganiseni, njengomklami, ndawonye, nikhiqize kabusha indawo ephakathi nendawo yayo yonke "imininingwane" yethu.
Yenza okufanayo ngekhanda: okokuqala, yehlisele phezulu esifubeni, bese uyitshekisa ngokucophelela yonke indlela emuva. Thola isikhundla sekhanda esimaphakathi esikufanelayo. Yigcine bese uyaphinda futhi. Kuhle.
Thatha izinyathelo ezimfushane, zokugaya ngangokunokwenzeka ohlangothini olulodwa, bese ubanzi ngangokunokwenzeka ngakolunye uhlangothi. Thola usayizi wamagxathu omaphakathi okhululekile ukuthi uwuhambe. Hamba ukhumbule isimo sakho.
Ama-Hips: cabanga ukuthi unensimbi ngaphakathi kwakho - hamba. Futhi manje, ezihambayo ngakolunye uhlangothi, swing them in the amplitude ngobukhulu. Izwa ngokuma okumaphakathi kwezinqulu bese uzama ukuhamba. Yenza okufanayo kuzo zonke ezinye izitho zomzimba.
Futhi ekugcineni, zihlanganise, njengomklami, ndawonye, nikhiqize kabusha indawo ephakathi nendawo yayo yonke "imininingwane" yethu. Hamba uzungeze lesi simo, ucabange ngesimo sakho senkinga. Zizwa ukulesi sakhiwo esisha, ukuhamba okusha, ukuma okusha, bese uzibuza umbuzo: yini engingayenza ukuze ngiguqule isimo?
Landelela ukuthi inkinga ibukeka kanjani manje ngokujwayelekile: mhlawumbe isimo sengqondo ngayo sishintshile noma isixazululo sesivele? Yile ndlela ukuxhumana “kobuchopho bomzimba” kusebenza ngayo, ngokunyakaza, ukuma, ukwethula imicabango esiyidingayo.